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the downside of living on the patch.

(15 Posts)
pinkdolly Mon 10-Sep-07 16:55:56

I had a run in with DE a couple of months back. Nothing major, except our allocations officer had repeatedly lied to us and stalled us from moving from a potentially dangerous house. So I basically emailed her and called her a liar, I know i shouldn't really have done it. But I was so mad, and upset.

So we're off the estate now anyway, and have just been informed by a friend from the estate that our name is being dragged trough the mud.
Mindless individuals who have nothing better to do with their time are spreading malicious rumours that we're trouble and have been given an injunction. Which is a load of rubbish. I wouldn't really say boo to a goose, i hate confrontation.
I'm so glad we know longer live in the tri service community. I know there are some lovely navy/raf/army families as i'm friends with loads. But why do you always have to get those few intent on stirring and causing trouble.

littlelapin Mon 10-Sep-07 16:59:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kerrykatona Mon 10-Sep-07 17:00:54

every patch has them, on the one i stay on you have to be careful of the women who go into the de/fo fora coffee and chat with the staff. they seem to know what everyone business is.

samandtomsmum Mon 10-Sep-07 17:23:16

it is true every state has one,and it is best to stay clear so hows it going then pinkdolly?

McDreamy Mon 10-Sep-07 17:26:11

Our patch is huge and as we're all abroad we seem to live in each others pockets. It's really hard not too, everyone ends up knowing your business. In some ways it's great, esp when DH was away, I was really supported, better than anywhere else but sometimes it's a bit claustrophobic.

pinkdolly sounds like you've had a terrible experience. Poor you sad

samandtomsmum Mon 10-Sep-07 17:40:51

i knew what u went through and i feel you did the right thing so keep smilingsmileand dont take any notice of that rubbish you are better of the patch x[hugs]

saltire Tue 11-Sep-07 10:48:37

I've never really noticed it, although our name is probably mud at our old base in Scotland because I am refusing to pay a Barracks Stores billgrin
Down here, well no one speaks to me anyway so it's not a problem, other places I've lived have been big MQ patches, some tri-service, some just RAF

curlywurlycremeegg Wed 12-Sep-07 11:02:09

pinkdolly for you, must be crap. I never did the MQ stuff as DH was too worried that I was a "gobby cow" and wouldn't stand for all the petty minded gossip and he would end up in the shit for my actions! DH was alway 'married unaccompnied" and I was free to get on with my life and career, did feel like I missed out on loads of stuff though, before he was deployed he used to bring home letters for me that had arrangements for help with my weekly shop etc whilst he was away, he always used to asked if they were really going to drive 200 miles to do my shopping for me grin Also felt I missed out on the support and empathy from others around me when he was deployed, I don't really think people can understand how scary it is when you DP is off to a war zone unless they have been there.

Notyummy Wed 12-Sep-07 11:20:56

We have been together for 8 years and only did 18 months in the patch. We were lucky that we had a very good quality house for very little money, and I agree with the points about a support network when DH is away. Having said that, I def felt that I was not 'one of the girls' because I worked fulltime until I had dd and then did 4 days a week from when she was 6 months.

An officers wife...with children...working!!

How very dare you!

pinkdolly Fri 14-Sep-07 16:12:41


only just remembered this thread. Thanx for all your kind words.
SamandTomsmum. Am off to a meeting this evening regarding how badly the DE have treated us all. Apparently the new chap in charge of raf portreath is baying for DE's blood. He wants us all there to submit our complaints. Finally we seem to be allowed to have a voice. Funnily enough no one from the DE will be coming, though they have been invited. An admission of guilt, methinks hmm. Anyway the news is that the estate is being officially closed down.

Just not relishing seeing those ogff the estate who have me pegged as some ASBO mum.

Loopymumsy Fri 14-Sep-07 20:16:15

Message withdrawn

3andnomore Fri 14-Sep-07 20:24:22

what a nightmare for you. Must admit, I don't think we have ever had our name dragged through the mud...although...god knows, I never took much notice and really kept myself to myself, with a very few and rare exeptions.
But I did find there were some positives living within the army community...we now live in our own house, but dh is still in the Army, and when he is away for longer (not often mind, thank god) it is difficult at times, as there is no one actually responsible for you, if they eff up the pay and stuff like that...!
Saying that the Estate where I live I have made some nice friends and have lovely supportive neighbours and people here are so open and, there is still at least some community spirit

pinkdolly Sat 15-Sep-07 15:48:56

I should say that not all my experiences on teh patch have been bad. Regardless of all the gossiping and sniping, I actually loved living there. I can honestly say it is probably one of the nicest looking of the mod patches. The houses were nice and tidy, good sized gardens and a nice quiet neighbourhood. I had some good friends on the patch also.

Like you 3andnomore, I really kept myself to myself and never got on the wrong side of anyone. Until all this business with the mineshafts started up. And DE were dragging their heels over moving us off. Then I had to fight to get us moved. As a result we have had to move into ssfa and i've gone from the cosy 3 bed semi that I was in, to the grand victorian 4 bed im in now. Which was all that we could find at the time. As rentals are thin on the ground down here.

I can only assume that there may be a bit of jealousy. But it's such a shame, coz I would much rather still be in the other house. We were there for 5 years, have had all our kids there. And as dh is very unlikely to get posted we were hoping to buy it eventually. Oh well...

samandtomsmum Sun 16-Sep-07 11:58:53

hi pink
you know what it was like there i am glad i am of the patch,you know how useless and organised everything was on that patch and what it was like for gossip,they havent got anything better to do and like i said to you if i was there i would of done the same to you regarding the mining issues it could of all been resolved earlier if the mod actually did something before when it went on like i said [hugs]from usxx

nell12 Sun 16-Sep-07 19:43:29

I think I have had similar experiences. Where I am at the moment, I am in a terrace of houses where everyone is really supportive of each other and we all have kids of similar ages.

In the summer we are generally to be found out the front (we have a huge communal lawn that is bigger and nicer than our back gardens) with the dcs playing together and us in our deckchairs nattering and drinking tea.

As night falls we have take-aways together and sit and drink wine smile it is great and we love it.

HOWEVER one neighbour was talking to someone else who lives elsewhere on the patch and was told that we were thought of as a dreadfully cliquey group shock shock

Why??!! Jealous probably grin

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