I hate moving :-((22 Posts)
Get out of the house as often as possible; walks exercise etc, try and join some groups/ invite other Mums in for coffee etc. I'm not knowledgeable about living in quarters etc but surely the other wives must go through similar feelings and could provide you with some support.
IME as soon as people with youngsters know that yours has chickenpox, they'll all be round wanting theirs to get it out of the way!
Easier if you explain why really.
Why do you hate house? It's only a house. Is there anything you could do to make it better? I wasn't keen on my qtr when I first moved in but found that changing curtains, putting up a few shelves and generally making it 'mine' helped. DH concentrated on the garden, lots of digging and planting and now we love it here - we've even said we'd buy it if DHE ever sold it off.
What is wrong with life on the patch? Do you see other mums? What do you do with yourself during the day? Do you work? How old are the dc's? I work but DH was SAHD. He found it hard adjusting but just got himself out and about and that helped. He now socialises with guys I work with and takes dd to things like the local wacky warehouse or to the park. Dd also helps him in the garden and she's got her own veggie patch that he leaves her to destroy!!
Is there a reason other than the chickenpox why you still cant go to your folks? It's not really that bad and the worst of it would be over in a couple of days. Once the spots are through it's only the scratching you need to contend with.
As for missing your old life - what do you miss? Why can't you still do those things? If its the people, can they come and see you. Would you still be around them if you had stayed home, or has life changed now you have dc's rather than now you are a 'mil' wife? If I remember correctly you used to serve yourself(?) so you shouldn't be backward in coming forward if you know what I mean - what about arranging a 'chicken-pox' party and inviting the local mums?
Other than that - it's the age old "give it time" a couple of months isn't much and you may find it easier when all the kids are off school and more people are around.....
Oh Loopy - I feel for you, it's tough moving; happened to me when I was 8 months pg, billy-no-mates ,
I think Mama was right, while you are housebound try to revamp house so it's more to your taste.
Don't be scared to tell the people you meet there how you're feeling, chances are they have been through it themselves and they'll understand.
Hope you're feeling better soon and your dd doesn't get spots on her toilet bits!
<sending big hugs>
Loopy - hello again and sorry you are having a bad day. It isn't such a bad place once you get used to it! No helpful advice but lots of sympathy. It will seem brighter in a week or two.
I know what you mean - I have been a navy wife for 2 years and it is a culture shock and a half. Like previous said you have to get out alot and I found that people on the 'patch' were just not that friendly. Have escaped to outside clubs and met people that way!
Did you have to move?
I moved to quarters (3 hrs from my home town) when we first married and we eventually bought a house here. Dh has had several drafts since and i have not gone with him. Half the time he is away for months at a time anyway and the rest of the time he comes home when he can.
I just couldn't face moving every couple of years and didn't want to disrupt the children espcially now the older 2 are at school.
Don't know if this is something you would consider, i know it works for alot of couples in the forces but everybody is different!
When i first moved into MQ i found it took about 6 months before i got settled and felt happy, give it a bit of time and get out as much as you can. Join every toddler/baby group you can so you meet more people ( maybe wait til chicken pox passes though!). Hope you feel happier soon
loopy - where are u? U have probably said somewhere on here! I thought it would be everyone in the same boat so all support each other on the 'patch' but everyone keeps to themselves and its so clicky.
I love livingon the patch, but them I'm a padbrat as well as now a wife o I have spent most of my life on one, thenext move will bew into our own house as DH is due out of the army in 2009, and in all since born that will be the 33rd move.
it does depend on getting out alot tho, I'm a CM and hav other CMs on th epatchto socialise with tho and DH is with a small display team so all the wives do look after each other as DHes are away most of the time.
I am in Cornwall! Not afraid to say as no one speaks to me I can't offend anyone!!! I got really bad news yesterday my dh is away (has been for four months) and when he gets back I get him until November when he goes again for five months. So I was in tears and vowing to move straight out of here. I hate it and like u get days when its the worse thing in the world. I have teenage kids who are my company (as well as a toddler) and keeps me from going round the bend. My dh has offered me to go and live in our house in wales but I would never see him then at all. Too far to commute with any regularity.
Mine 38 too! Counting down to escape time
H liquorice i just moved from a MQ in cornwall lived in cornwall all my life so it was easy for me i have moved to driffield and have the same problems on this patch noone talks so i sympathise with u and i have two children and there is nothing here not even a park and trying to entertain them is hard wrk i wish i was back down there i go down alot,
Hi S&Ts Mum - so how did u break into the social circle here? Did u know people already on the patch? There seem 2 b a lot of Cornish wives - one next door 2 me. Plus I have met a few out and about. Wheres drifield (spelt wrong!)?
which patch are you in cornwall helston or redruth?i was on the redruth patch it is hard but i was lucky i was there for a long time 6years and driffield is in sunny yorkshire keep perservering have you tried the club or hive to met people?
In Helston. Yes went to the community centre for about six months solid, tried v hard - truly awful! It seemed that there were a few women who were 'in charge' and it was one big clique. They were very interested in the rank of my husband, where I was from and what I did and after that conversation was sporadic. I could go in one week and they would speak and another week they just ignored me completely. V Strange. I have made friends off the patch - some are navy and they had the same experience at the community centre. Hive lady is v friendly but thats her job isn't it!
i know what u mean i hate that whats your husband,i been in the hive there a few times and because i was not on that patch they wouldnt talk,i would love to be back in cornwall because my family are thereand im a cornish girl this is my first move and just found out DHE are selling our house dont know when or how long it makes me cross but keep smiling s@tmumx
Loopymumsy - sorry to see you're having a pants time after your move - it takes time to settle in doesn't it and it's always worse when you've had a good experience elsewhere. I'm sure it'll get better soon. Are you able to go to any antenatal/nursery sessions to meet other mums? (if it's any consolation I'll be in the same boat soon as I've just found out that we're likely to be moving a month after I deliver then DH will immediately be away for three months )
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