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Does anyone have experience of forces couple counselling?

(10 Posts)
FritzDonovan Wed 08-Feb-17 00:44:42

Due to the job stresses and accompanying attitude I think we need professional help. However, I have heard that the forces' counselling is likely to be of the 'thats the way it is, deal with it' attitude towards the spouse. This wouldn't help. Has anyone ever used forces specific counselling? What was your experience? Are there any alternatives which are knowledgeable about force specific stresses, or doesn't this matter? Thx in advance.

scaryteacher Wed 08-Feb-17 12:56:13

I don't know about counselling, but have been married since 86, and dh retired from the RN in 2014, so it is doable to manage a marriage. The job stresses will always be there, given the nature of the job. The family support is better than it was.

It might help to contact the AFF if Army, or the equivalents for the other two services to see what help they can offer. I think SSAFA might be able to help as well.

There is a lot to deal with in terms of being the non serving spouse. I found it easier as I am Forces brat, so had grown up with it. I knew the RN would come 1st, 2nd and 3rd, so I structured my life as I wanted it to be, and got on with it. Wasn't always easy, especially when he was at sea and there was no way to contact him for 8 weeks at a time, but I knew that when I married him.

scaryteacher Wed 08-Feb-17 12:56:34

PM me if you need to.

FritzDonovan Thu 09-Feb-17 08:33:31

Thanks scary. Didn't used to be this difficult but I think the resentment over various things is building up now! Unfortunately he didn't join up until a good 8 years in, so I didn't know what to expect.. Have predicted you smile, thx.

scaryteacher Thu 09-Feb-17 16:04:42

Got your pm and have replied.

FritzDonovan Fri 10-Feb-17 07:57:51

Ha, just noticed! PMed not predicted smile

RifRafia Sat 11-Mar-17 22:19:06

The marriage counselling provided by the RAF (assume it is same as Army/Navy) is provided by Relate (6 free sessions), so although it is funded by the forces it is not 'forces counselling' - it is the same as any other couple referred to Relate receive.

FWIW I would really recommend it.

Genvonklinkerhoffen Sat 11-Mar-17 22:21:57

What Rif said. It's funded by the military, not actually provided by them.

Out of interest, where did you hear what you've said you were told?

Good luck OP flowers

FritzDonovan Sat 25-Mar-17 10:22:01

Sorry, wasn't watching the thread and missed comments. Thanks for your replies. I had been looking around on the internet, not wanted to mention anything to other forces wives I know (know some lovely ppl but never sure stuff would stay confidential). I may have got the wrong end of the stick.
When is most beneficial to fit it in? He hasn't got leave to take weekly, gets home after 6pm, and is away every so often, so I can't see how we could do 6 regular weekly sessions, for example. Does that matter, or affect the effectiveness of the sessions?

Mrbay Sun 04-Feb-18 10:15:27

It's one of the most useful things the army have provided to my relationship.
We just went once a week, in the evening after work.
The counsellor will normally do the first 2-4 sessions weekly and then fortnightly, depending on the issue. My DH officer was aware so made sure he could attend.
Good luck!

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