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New relationship, First Deployment advice

(4 Posts)
NoBloodyMore Wed 11-May-16 12:23:42

I'm just after a bits of handholding I guess, I'm in a new relationship with a man in the forces, we're both divorced and have been seeing each other since Jan, he's based about 3 hours away so we see each other at weekends when my children are with their Dad, so whilst we are used to the whole long distance thing the longest we have gone without seeing each other is 10 days.

He's being deployed next month for 3 months, how do people cope? It's so early in our relationship I have no idea what impact it will have, obviously practically it will have little impact as I'm up here dealing with house/ kids etc but we talk a lot at the minute whatsapp/messages all day and 2/3 phone calls a week and then we're together all weekend. What can I expect and how do we just pick up where we left off in September?


xandra588 Wed 11-May-16 13:33:38

Prepare yourself for the fact you're not going to see each other for longer than 10 days. Your relationship is becoming a "from distance" type, which is not for everybody. However, the best you could do is think positive stuff like your relationship will survive this distance.
PS: Cake+Wine is ALWAYS the solution to every single problem. Just don't overdose them.


Whatthefreakinwhatnow Wed 11-May-16 13:43:18

Hi OP, my DP is forces and goes away for 4-6 months every couple of years, he's off again later this year.

I can't lie, it is hard, but we get through it by keeping busy! I'm busy with the kids and work, and he's obviously working but fills downtime wity the gym and playing team sports etc.

We talk as often as possible, and if he's somewhere with a decent Internet connection we Skype regularly too, as well as writing each other emails and even the occasional snail mail!

I find the weekends the hardest, without the distraction of work, so I make sure I plan lots to do, visit family and friends, day trips with the kids, anything but sit at home, as I find this drives me mad.

All in all, the only. months does go by quicker than you expect it to, and if you are friends with any of the other wives or girlfriends that's always good for extra support.

The feeling you have when you meet him at brize when he returns is amazing! Last time I booked a lovely room at an Oxford hotel and we had a night there together to reconnect before we went home, and if I wasn't going to have a newborn at home I'd do the same this time! I'd defo reccomend it, DP was so glad of the lovely bed and power shower!

You'll be ok OP, promise smile

NoBloodyMore Fri 17-Jun-16 14:19:23

Forgot to come back and update this. He's been gone for a couple of weeks now, all going well so far! He's working 12 hour night shifts at the minute which can make finding time to actually chat difficult, I find myself up at 5am so we can talk for half an hour before he goes to bed!

I don't know any of the other wives or girlfriends yet as it's still early days with us, fingers crossed we can make it work.

Thanks for the advice

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