If the couple are married, the correct way to address envelopes would be Corporal and Mrs John Smith
If the couple are not married or the woman has retained her own name, the correct address would be for unmarried - Corporal John Smith and Miss Lucy Brown.
For married but retaining own name, it would be - Corporal John Smith and Ms Lucy Brown
The absolute correct etiquette (but only now used for invitation to royal garden parties and similar events) is to address the envelope only to the female invitee. The invitation inside ( which has a space for names to be written on) would be addressed per the examples above.
No - it's always the man's name (both first and last)which is used ( if the couple have married and the woman has taken the man's name) and his title always comes first too. So it would Mr and Corporal John Smith.
What I would say is that a military title is not the same as a professional title in that doctors and dentists etc will use their title of Dr in their everyday lives.
My experience if the military is that they don't. So a general letter from the bank wouldn't tend to be addressed to Corporal John Smith rather Mr John Smith
My DH is a dentist so his title is Dr. His sister is also a dentist (so has the title Dr) but she's an army dentist too so also had the title of major.
When we invited her to our wedding, her invite was addressed to Dr x x not Major as it wasn't an army affair. However, when she has previously been invited to military weddings by colleagues, her invitation is addressed to Major x x
So my long winded point is that if you and/or your DP are in the military which I presume you are! and there are lots if military types then I would use the military titles but, if not, I would consider just using "mr" etc
Sorry - should have made that clear in the first post
I would be careful on envelopes though if posting to non-military addresses. Many people are sensitive about having their military connections advertised, hence why many orgnisations will still use Mr, Mrs, Miss etc on the envelope but the rank inside.
I would absolutely NOT do major and Mrs John Smith. I give not one flying fig about whether some outmoded convention says this is correct. I married a military man, and happened to take his surname, but I still have my own first name. I am not called.John.
I'm only telling the OP the correct way of addressing the envelopes etc - which is what was asked. This is not a thread debating the the rights and wrongs (sexist or otherwise) of those various forms of address.
I hope you never get an invitation to a garden party or you're going to be incandescent with rage
Yes - agree with Yoni. I need to know! I think it would be H.R.H The Princess Royal and Commodore Timothy Lawrence R.N.? But if she was attending in her rank of RN officer then it would be that title? I love all this guff
Plant - yes, I also agree with you but after going to all the bloody effort of typing out all the possible formal addresses, I insist that Turkey uses them!
It was back in 2000 whilst he was still a Cmdr sorry, not a Cdre.
Gobbolina has it, but he was bloody lovely about it, because in the end I just asked him what on earth I should do and he said that his wife wouldn't actually attend, she never did so I shouldn't bother putting her on the invite.
He even said that he din't care if he didn't get a formal invite, he was attending anyhow, so "why waste paper" but what Gobbolino says is what the Palace actually instructed me to do.