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Worried about dh. PTSD??

(6 Posts)
SandyChick Tue 25-Sep-12 14:03:57

Ds2 is 6 months old. I don't want to go into it too much in case I out myself but basically I ended up quite poorly when ds was born (6 hours in surgery,admitted to HDU and needed a subsequent operations days later).

Dh has been a bit miserable lately but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. A few days ago he said he wanted to talk to me about something. He says he's finding it hard to cope/come to terms with what happened. He's having panick attacks and irrational thought. He isn't sleeping and is having nightmares. He says he didn't mention it and thought it would get better but it's getting worse.

I've tried googling for info but it all related to the mam rather than the dad.

He's started pre deployment training this week ( which is where he was when he told me) and he's worried that work will think he's just trying to get out of deploying which he is absolutely not.

He has seen the doc who told him to come back on Thursday so in the meantime he's in limbo and I'm really worried about him. He's at sea so I can't speak to him too often. He spoke to work (he's not ships company) who basically said there was nothing that they could do and told him to speak to welfare services. I don't think they are treating him as ill but rather that he's having family problems. I just don't think they understand because it's child birth related and not the normal type of PTSD they see.

Ant advice??

NormaStanleyFletcher Tue 25-Sep-12 17:44:24

I think the doc is the only way to go with this.

Hope he gets the help he needs.

madwomanintheattic Tue 25-Sep-12 17:51:59

Military doc? Or civvie?

I think he needs to be very honest with the doc, especially about flashbacks/ nightmares and sleeping. Kudos for him to get this far, really.

Military doc should recognize the signs (whatever the cause) - it will be interesting to see how they decide to treat as it's not a straightforward combat type issue which they will be used to. The MH professionals will be fine, as long as he gets that far. Do you think the prospect of deploying has been a trigger? Even in terms of personal vulnerability?

The birth trauma association has a partners page, and recognizes that fathers can suffer PTSD as a result - check out this page

Hope that works for you x

CourgetteSmuggler Sat 29-Sep-12 19:18:02

Hi mad

I would suggest speaking with Combat Stress, a forces charity for PTSD, although deployment could be a trigger it's best to get this sorted out ASAP. it could just be a blip, but the fact that he is prepared to tell you how he is feeling is half of the problem eradicated!

I work with soldiers struggling with PTSD so deeply recommend getting some help soon smile

CourgetteSmuggler Sat 29-Sep-12 19:18:41

sorry! sandy

SandyChick Sat 29-Sep-12 20:13:07

Thanks courgette. I'll look into it.

Unfortunates Dh is struggling more than ever. He has been fobbed off by the ships doc who basically thinks he's making it up to get out of deploying. The doc even pulled 2 of dh's colleagues to one side and asked if they thought he was making if up. He first went to see the ships doc last Monday. It got to Thursday an still nothing had been done. There was a boat taking people back to shore so Dh basically demanded to be on it. The doc said no. In the end it went as high as the captain who over ruled the doc and he was able to get off. Eventually he was seen on Friday by a mental health nurse who told Dh that he wasn't clinically depressed and to go back to work. An appointment has been made for end of this week to see someone again. In the mean time Dh had no choice but to go back to work.

I have spoken to my health visitor who knows our back story regarding the birth. She i really concerned about Dh. We have been offered counselling to talk through what happened but work won't let Dh come home. He was actually verbally ordered to go back to work.

I think he is suffering with PTSD after what he went through thinking he was going to lose ds and myself. This week has made him worse and I think he's heading for a break down of some sort.

I don't know what to do. If work won't get him help and won't let him home then what is he supposed to do??

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