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7 mos and refusing spoon totally...please HELP!!!

(18 Posts)
goldie12 Sat 30-Jul-05 09:38:24

My DS started solids just before 6 months and after a slow start, he started enjoying them. He ate the equivalent of three quarters to a whole jar per meal, sometimes more. A couple of weeks ago, he started only wanting sweet things. In the last three days, he purses his lips and look away or down but doesn't seem upset. I am really panicking about this and think I may have caused the problem by often trying to get him to eat a little bit more .

I have some other concerns about him at the moment- he has stopped talking, sometimes sucks weakly on the bottle and is snuffly when drinking. Does this sound like teething? He has 2 teeth already but wasn't on solids until after they appeared. What do I do in the meantime: give solids a rest for a few days or keep offering? He hasn't got the fine motor skills to feed himself finger foods and isn't interested either. When I'm trying to feed him, he doesn't seem stressed out but I'm scared I've given him a food phobia!

geogteach Sat 30-Jul-05 09:47:34

I wouldn't worry too much about the spoon phobia, DD had one and didn't let a spoon pass her lips till 10 months, she is now a much less picky eater than DS1 who had no such probs. I would rest the sollids if he is not interested, milk is still main source of nutrician at this age anyway.

honeybunny Sat 30-Jul-05 10:32:13

Its amazing how quickly babes go from not coping with finger food at all and then refusing spoon feeding. dd is nearly 8months (weaned at 22weeks)and in the past 3 weeks has become v tricky re spoon feeding. I go with the distraction method of giving something to hold... rice cake, piece of cooked veg (roasted root veg, green bean, asparagus, all v popular) and spooning mush in around this. She will also shovel a spoonful of food in her mouth if I load it for her, although watch for the flying spoon afterwards. From now on food gets v messy, I've even put mush on her tray, she loves squishing and playing with it, and this acts as great distraction too.

dd has no teeth yet and manages fine with toast, homemade rusks, berries etc and I think she finds the gumming quite theraputic on her achey gums.

At times, if dd simply clams up her mouth I get her down from her high chair and leave it til the next meal. I figure she'll make up for the missing calories from her bf.

I have to add that I find it amazingly frustrating and time consuming and altho I sound relaxed about it in this post, I too worry about the consequences of stressing at mealtimes. ds1 was an awful feeder and I feel I made a huge amount of mistakes feeding him because I wanted to be in control of what went in his mouth. I try V V HARD to stay chilled with dd, and she's much more chilled in return. hth!

goldie12 Sat 30-Jul-05 12:20:03

honeybunny, thanks for your post but DS is not interested in finger foods. He will play with them on the table but not put them near his mouth. I tried a tiny piece of banana with him yesterday, he seemed to chew it a little then gagged and puked up a third ish of his previous milk feed. He is a gagger and a projectile vomitter. I'm finding it very hard to stay chilled at the moment. It doesn't help that he is behind on most other milestones too.

I feel like giving up solids for a whole week- is that a good idea?!!

alexw Sat 30-Jul-05 12:35:02

I wouldn't give up if I were you. Sounds like teething or sore gums - my daughter (7 months) tried the only sweet stuff thing last week as well as bottle refusing but has now gone back to eating normally. He will eat if he's hungry. I think it's perectly normal behaviour!

honeybunny Sat 30-Jul-05 12:43:52

dd did gag on f/foods to begin with. I found things like Heinz organic biscotti were great for gumming on rather than biting (altho my dd still has no teeth, so maybe your ds will crunch them a bit with his) so whatever went in was usually pretty mushed. Therefore less to gag on.

Someone suggested a cold (clean, obviously!) damp flannel was comforting to chew/gum pre meals for teething babes. You could try that if you think his gums are sore.

Try the puree on his tray and see what he does. If he's trying to get some to his mouth he's obviously hungry, if not then try not to stress and just get him down from his chair.

I think I'd persevere with small amounts of puree and the odd bit of finger food, then sit back and watch him if he's refusing. Sometimes I walk away from dd if she's refusing and make my own or the boys meals, then when I reoffer her her food she'll have a few more mouthfuls. I give up if theres further refusal.

What about tiredness too. Could ds be too tired to be interested? You could try bringing his lunch forward by 15-20 mins. Or could he be too hungry. A few swigs of milk first may help settle him to try more with the puree. Or might he be too milked up and therefore not hungry at all. Try no drink and go straight for solids.

Count to 10 slowly with a smile on your face and take a deep breath or 2. Works for me!!! (sometimes!!)

lapsedvet Sat 30-Jul-05 12:47:05

just keep offerring and if he refuses then accept it.
Feeding is sooo emotive i know and it is really stressful for mum.
I don't think you've given him a food phobia, but don't give yourself and ulcer too
Just let it wash over you.
In a couple of weeks he'll be back to eating and he'll suddenly do the finger food thing, and you will be onto the next crisis, believe me.
He will eat when he needs to and he's still a little baby so milk is still his main source of food.
Give him an extra cuddle and be pleased that you don't have to clear up the mess if he refuses food!
My ds had phases like this on and off and still does. When he is in eating mode he will polish off anything and everything. then some days he just eats next to nothing.. he is also late on lots of milestones, especially when a baby. But he is now the cleverest and cutest little 23month old ever {smile]
I used to stress so much about the milestones, and then just gave up thinking about it. He gets there in the end and then is perfect at whatever it is, unlike his mates who seem to get there earlier and then struggle for a while iyswm

Spoo Sat 30-Jul-05 17:56:41

Thank You Lapsedvet. I was about to post something very similar before I saw your message. DS 6months. Has been eating since 4 months but has recently started not taking the spoon. I thought I had it cracked a few weeks ago as he started on finger food and I could do a bit of both. No he has rejected the spoon altogether. I have just tried him with his own spoon and bowl. What a mess!! But he seemed to eat loads more. All the same he ended the meal in the normal tears and tantrums. So I do sympathise. I am feeling the same and it is getting me very stressed out and incredibly tired as doing both meals and bottle feeding is exhausting as you always seem to be feeding. I tried dropping his afternoon feed this afternoon as well and that seemed to make him eat more. ANyway sorry I can't help you but at least I can sympathise!

Spoo Sat 30-Jul-05 17:57:57

Sorry I meant thanks Goldie!

Jen28 Sun 31-Jul-05 09:30:22

My DS (now 10 months) would much prefer to shove mush in his own mouth with his fingers than take it off the spoon (although he will until some drops on the tray and then it has to be fingers.) He adores toast and has since he started weaning at 6 months. The mush shoving is messy but you gotta go with it! But don't worry, they won't deliberately starve themselves! Maybe give some vitamin drops if you can just so you get some peace of mind that the nutrition is getting in?

goldie12 Sun 31-Jul-05 09:58:04

Thanks for all your replies. I am a bit wary of doing lots of finger foods atm as he seems to chew ok and them struggle to swallow it, gag and then be sick- projectile. As you imagine, this is v. distressing as he then becomes more hungry cos of the lost milk he's thrown up. If I just put puree in front of him, he might get one tiny fingerful to his mouth but most of that won't get eaten and will be drooled down his front- he hasn't got the fine motor skills to feed himself.

Another problem is that he's milk intolerant (had blood in stools) and I wanted to avoid gluten for a little while longer too. So I can't give rusks, toast, biscotti etc.

Sorry for the negative post but I just feel DS is challenging me in every way at the moment...this feeding lark, stopped talking, still not rolling at 7 mo, not interested in moving, the list goes on... Kinda making me paranoid and feel so down

Spoo Sun 31-Jul-05 10:27:12

You can get gluten free rusks, rice cakes also work but could cause vomiting also.

Spoo Sun 31-Jul-05 10:28:43

Chin up Goldie. You do not know what is going on inside the brain. They all develop at their own rate. Your boy might be a thinker, philosopher or artist!

Jen28 Mon 01-Aug-05 01:10:03

My DS was very variable at that age. Some days ravenous, the others living on air (or so it seemed to me). Don't worry about the mess or if he just wants to play with his food. It's all part of learning. If he is happy then go with it. I have friends who had a gagger. He was totally breastfed till 8 months but he's ok now. Does he stick toys in his mouth?

Saacsmum Mon 01-Aug-05 07:59:47

Hi we have been in a very similar situation and I know how worried and stressful it is. My ds is now 10months old, he wasnt interested in solids in any form until about 3 wks ago, he also interestingly enough is intolerant to dairy and we have also had blood in the nappies. Saac is also a late mover, he still doesnt crawl and is nto mobile in any way. So please believe me I understand how you feel!
Feeding, I just kept offering and although it upset me greatly I pretended it was all ok in front of Saac, he was a chronic gagger, I ended up putting dollops of mush and puree on his tray for him to feel and experiment with, he eventually took more interest and started to lick his fingers, I then offered very ripe pear every couple of days until he had the hang of chew and swallow then slowly expanded finger foods. Now he will only eat finger foods in very small quantities and of very limited variety. I just keep offering other options. He is still bf and as I cant force him to eat I feel I am doing all I am and keep hanging on the adage that he wont starve himself.
Talking, in my experience with Saac I finds that he masters a skill and then ignores it completely for ages as he works on new ones, for example he was rolling over finally at 7months, did it consistently for about 2weeks and hasnt done it since but has since developed other skills such as sitting. You may find the quiet patch is due to him concentrating on other things for a while. Feel free to cat me if you wnat a chat, it is really hard with a high needs baby and so difficult to see others doing things yours isnt.

Spoo Mon 01-Aug-05 19:18:20

My mum just fed my DS with a whole pot of food plus a Petit Filous without even trying. She was sooo smug. I have struggled for so long. how annoying is that?

angie0201 Fri 05-Aug-05 21:32:04

exactly the same thing happened with my dd same age to only would eat sweet things when the week earlier would eat everything going! refused the spoon just the same. it was upsetting me so much my MIL came over and we sat down with dd gave her a spoon and over an hour just gave little bits every so often. dd is fine now no phobia instead quite the opposite!

angie0201 Fri 05-Aug-05 21:37:48

also dd went through a phase of crying so much couldn't get a spoon near her mouth, turned out she was too hungry to eat so i give her 40z of milk at 945 then a sleep so by 12 when she has her dinner she is not overly hungry or tired

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