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I would like you're honest opinions on this, it's a bit of a mixed thread to be honest.

(43 Posts)
AmIBeingPetty Thu 08-Oct-09 18:20:48

Not sure where to post this, so decide here would be a good start.

After 3 incidents that happened over the weekend, I am deciding whether to stay with DH or not. I HAVE changed my name as the details are so unique they would out me in a second if anyone knows me.

Other things are going on in my life which are quite major and I feel they could be clouding my judgement, so, until things on that level calm down (a month on one level, longer on the other), I am taking things with DH day to day and not making any rash decisions, he understands he was in the wrong and acknowledges why I am thinking like this. And for the time being until I know what I want to happen there will be no bedroom action.

I have decided today to cook a nice meal for us tonight, bearing in mind my dh is a very fussy eater, what do you think of the following:

Breaded garlic mushrooms for starter

Southern fried chicken with fresh salad and home made french dressing along with fresh crusty bread

Followed by syrup sponge and custard.

I have got a nice expensive rose wine that is ideal with salads and desserts etc too, that is chilling in the freezer.

I've got a comedy film to watch, going to light candles and curl up and watch this.

Is this ok? Am I making a big enough effort?

cat64 Thu 08-Oct-09 18:28:29

Message withdrawn

SqueezyCheesyPumpkin Thu 08-Oct-09 18:33:07

Yes, am not sure what you're asking either? The food sounds very nice smile and if he is a fussy bugger, he better appreciate it nonetheless!! (esp given he is just out of the bad books)

Maybe you're wondering if you are going to too much effort given that you are not going through a great patch just now and that he has done something to piss you off recently? Should it be him making the effort? Just guessing.....

deepdarkwood Thu 08-Oct-09 18:37:17

Agree with cat - it's really dependent upon what you & your dh enjoy. Wouldn't esp suit dh (apart from the sponge smile) but does sound to me quite like classic bloke food, iykwim.
Imo, any three course meal = effort!

AmIBeingPetty Thu 08-Oct-09 18:48:32

Sorry for being vague.

They are all his favourite foods etc.

I am just wanting it to be a gesture that I haven't ''given up'' up on our relationship just yet

He does need to pull his socks up and make one hell of an effort, but, he is working very very long hours for the next few weeks which is a godsend, gives us time 'apart' when I can think and pootle about etc.

squeaver Thu 08-Oct-09 18:49:37

Do you mind me asking why he needs to make an effort? Is it to do with the "incidents" at the weekend?

SqueezyCheesyPumpkin Thu 08-Oct-09 18:55:40

Well in that case, in any case, you're making a fab effort and I hope it all goes well smile

Best of luck.

purpleduck Thu 08-Oct-09 18:55:55

This post has got me laughing - you are wondering whether to stay with him or not, and now you are cooking a massive meal/romantic evening for him. grin hmm

Its a lovely thought and the food sounds yummy, but its making me think that the things he did were along the lines of:

Incident 1: Your DH left the toilet seat up.

Incident 2: Your DH did not load the dishwasher properly.

Incident 3: You and your DH have had an arguement over DIY.

Sorry, I don't mean to diminish what may be a hard time, but he has upset you, nookie has been banned, yet you are cooking a massive meal with wine.

I think you are sending mixed messages tbh

AmIBeingPetty Thu 08-Oct-09 19:28:05

I am making an effort becuase I want him to know that I've not given up on us totally.

Incidents were a HELL of alot worse purpleduck

Lilyloooohhhh Thu 08-Oct-09 19:37:15

If it was a hell of a lot worse then i would be expecting him to make the effort tbh not you

cat64 Thu 08-Oct-09 19:40:15

Message withdrawn

allaboutme Thu 08-Oct-09 19:41:16

If incidents were worse then he should be making all effort imo
If you cook a special romantic meal for him and reassure him you arent giving up on him then its telling him you arent too upset over what he did..even if you say otherwise!

hobbgoblin Thu 08-Oct-09 19:44:27

Ummm, he's ballsed up and you are making a supreme effort?????

Why are you doing this?

Ypou can't make him respect you this way, which I fear is what you are subconciosuly trying to do.

If you feel he deserves it and it's about drawing a line and having some special time together again: cook together.

scaryclaireyboo Thu 08-Oct-09 19:46:44

If he has done something serious enough for you to be considering leaving him then why the hell are you making the effort to cook a romantic meal? Surely he should be the one making an effort?

overmydeadbody Thu 08-Oct-09 19:49:15

Sounds good but tbh I wouldn't make southern friend chicken as it involves deep frying and that will leave an awful stink in the house that will rob you of an intimate romantic mood.

hobbgoblin Thu 08-Oct-09 19:49:51

some pie with some humbles in it. simples

overmydeadbody Thu 08-Oct-09 19:50:26

Agree with hobgoblin.

Not sur why you are making all the effort when he is the one who's in the wrong.

ConFuschias Thu 08-Oct-09 19:52:49

I agree with the others - it's very odd that you are going to all this effort when he is the one who has to put the effort in, due t these incidents.

Yes, he is working long hours - which gives you a perfect oportunity to demnstrate to him what life will be like if he does not put the effort in - i.e. by coming home to no dinner on the table after a long day at work.

PoisonToadstool Thu 08-Oct-09 19:57:47

You've namechanged to ask about sponge pudding and custard? hmm

What details are unique exactly? The bit about candles?

overmydeadbody Thu 08-Oct-09 20:02:45

Oh god, this is a pisstake isn't it?

slimeoncrazydemon Thu 08-Oct-09 20:04:28

Message withdrawn

Lilyloooohhhh Thu 08-Oct-09 20:08:14

Just reread OP to see if there were any inuendos in there but can't see any ?

purpleduck Thu 08-Oct-09 20:08:58

Thats what I was wondering overmy...or is it deadbody??? It doesn't really make sense. Petty, are you showing him the works, he thinks he's "in there", you refuse the goods, giving you the upper hand?

I think it all sounds confusing.

Would love some of that chicken though

purpleduck Thu 08-Oct-09 20:10:06

Are the breaded mushrooms from scratch, or shop bought?

Rindercella Thu 08-Oct-09 20:16:28

Petty, which details are so unique that you had to name change for this thread? Was it the breaded mushrooms, or perhaps the crusty bread served with the Southern Fried chicken rather than chips?

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