dd been sick, now not eating much at all

[lilaclotus]

hi, this is my first post.
my dd has been sick a couple of days ago. she was just drinking water, eating toast etc to get her stomach to settle. now she's feeling better she's refusing pretty much all food. when she does take a bite she holds it in her mouth and chews it for ages. i'm getting quite anxious about it. she's always been a bad picky eater and the last year she's come very far. she's a good height and weight and she's developing well. i don't really know what to do about getting rid of her fear of being sick again or how to stop myself from freaking out when she refuses to eat. we had this problem a few months ago when she was poorly but it's worse this time. i'm keeping a food diary. she's drinking enough and the little bits she had to eat the last couple of days are 'good' foods (fruit & veg, dairy and wholegrain foods). am i needlessly worrying? how can i stop being so anxious about her not eating?

leen xx

[Donbean]

How old is she hun?

[lilaclotus]

she's nearly 4

[Donbean]

I wouldnt say that you are "needlessly" worrying because that is a totally natural response to your baby not eating, im the same.
Its sounds like you are doing the right things giving her good stuff, the temptation is to give them what they ask for and want, which invariably is rubbish isnt it?
As long as she is drinking i tend to think that the appitite will come back gradually,just continue to add more stuff.
Sorry i feel like im no help here at all and as she has been ill like this before, you know all this that im rambling on about.
Just want to add that you shouldnt feel like you are ott when it comes to your child, just ask away on here, people are very generous with thier sympathy and advice. Some one will be able to help you with this im sure

[hunkermunker]

Hiya lilaclotus, sorry, have no advice, but wanted to say welcome to MN

[WigWamBam]

I think it's important not to make a fuss about it, or let her see that you are anxious, otherwise she may refuse food just for the reaction.

What makes you think that it's a fear of being sick, rather than just a lack of appetite following an illness? My dd always takes several days to get back into eating properly after she's been poorly, and it may just be that. Let her eat what she will eat and try not to worry about it; as long as she's getting plenty of fluid, she should be OK. If it goes on longer than a few days, or if you really think that she has a fear of vomiting, then see the GP or HV for a bit of reassurance.

[lilaclotus]

the reason i think she's afraid of being sick again is because that's what she told me also, she chews her bites for ages and then asks to spit it out.
in general, i try to be as calm as possible when she refuses to eat. she doesn't get offered alternatives as we've found that gives the wrong message.

[WigWamBam]

I'm probably only telling you what you already know here, so do excuse me if I sound as if I'm teaching grandma to suck eggs!

What I would do in that case is reassure her that people are only sick when they're poorly, and she's getting better now so she won't be sick any more. If she asks to spit it out once she's chewed it, try not to let her; tell her that the food needs to go into her tummy to keep her well and give her lots of energy to play (that's the sort of thing that my dd, also 4, responds to)

I think you're right not to offer alternatives, but try to make the food you offer really tempting for her - try her with all of her favourites, just to get her interested in eating again. Sometimes when my dd is recovering from an illness, she only fancies "nice" food, and I do tend to give her her (healthy!) favourites at that time.

[lilaclotus]

thank you, that really helped. i've had a chat with her before bed and she seems to understand. and i will try again tomorrow with a refreshed look and extra calmness

[WigWamBam]

Tomorrow's another day - it might be easier and less stressful after you've both had a good night's sleep!

And welcome to Mumsnet, by the way - hope to see you around soon ... it's very, very addictive

[lilaclotus]

thank you all for your responses and making me feel welcome here. today she's eaten a lot more, we're quite back to normal.