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If your 19 months old refuses dinner, do you................

(26 Posts)
emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 17:44:57

offer him anything else?


We're at the battle of wills stage and he simply will not eat what I offer him, unless it's a biscuit[blush

He's only a little bean anyway(nowhere near filling 12-18 months clothes) so the thought of him going to bed hungry makes me feel really bad.


What would you do?

QueenEagle Wed 04-May-05 17:50:47

Mine eat whatever's on offer, like it or lump it.

I'm sure there was a thread along these lines very recently....

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 17:54:04

he would eat anything too until recently.


it's just sooooo annoying.

Blu Wed 04-May-05 17:54:26

Ummm, I have to admit that what I DID was follow him round poking spoonfuls of food in his mouth. What I would do now, with the benefit of hindsight, would be to leave him for a bit, then offer the same thing (if I knew he liked it) or something else I knew he liked - within reason - (not biscuit ) If he refused that I would accept lack of hunger and just make sure he had a good drink of milk before bed.

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 17:57:13

we did exactly that at lunch time Blu, still only managed a little lunch.

He's just eaten a yoghurt so I suppose thats something.

coldtea Wed 04-May-05 18:02:39

I'm a mean mother. I cook once & dinner goes to the table once. Anything refused is thrown & nothing else is offered. At least with dd(21 months) i know she gets her milk before bed so not strictly nothing

coldtea Wed 04-May-05 18:04:55

Should add i did the same with ds & he soon learnt it was eat or go hungry! He learnt quickly. I know it's frustrating

starlover Wed 04-May-05 18:05:55

I ditto Blu. Offer him the same thing over and over. If he refuses then he gets nothing.
No child will starve itself to death! If he's hungry enough he will eat.
Like you say, it's a battle of wills... and if you don't win now it'll go on for ages!

bundle Wed 04-May-05 18:07:32

make sure he's properly hydrated but try not to give in (have you seen the boy who only ate chocolate yoghurt - aka brown yoggy - on house of tiny tearaways?? parents in an awful mess over his eating)

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 18:13:48

With the older Ds's that's what I'd do too, but as DS3 is so little I just hate the thought of it.



We've been at the hospital for his low weight before, got signed off after a few visits as he's just a smaller version of his older Bruv's and absolutley fine but I still have this nagging, irrational fear that they think I'm starving him.

bundle Wed 04-May-05 18:16:53

emma will he eat things like bananas? or avocados? they are my standbys with dd2 (just 2)

emily05 Wed 04-May-05 18:43:32

One of these parenting shows once said if you think of how small a toddlers tummy is it actually doesn't take that much to fill up. They gave the idea of for every thing your child eat put the same amount in a plastic sandwich bag and it will give you an indication of what they are really eating (hope that made sense). Anyway I did this at one meal time and was pleasantly surprised.

I would stick to your guns. It is part of human instinct to eat when hungry, so believe me if he gets hungry he will eat. It doesnt sound as if he has any medical problems with regards to eating as he will eat biscuit.

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 18:57:46

emily, he would indeed eat a biscuit......I think he'd swap me for a biscuit


I think I need to but horrible biscuits as he is becoming obsessed(sp?) with them

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 19:00:29

Bundle, never tried avocado TBH, and he'd only occaisonally eat a banana.

Of course he'd eat grapes/sultana until he's fit to burst but a nappy can only take so much

Blu Wed 04-May-05 19:03:02

Oat biscuits with hummus or cream cheese?

Blu Wed 04-May-05 19:07:48

Emma - I was worried for exactly the same reason as you are - DS was put on 'special measures' by our HV for being on the 2nd percentile for weight. TBH, tho', I think my anxiety subtley caused the problems we got into with him refusing to it down and eat. I was always a tiny bit too eager for him to eat something - a sure way to get a toddler to do the opposite, n'est pas?

Once I did force myself to calm down about it, he developed more self-sufficiency. He still has good days and bad days, but on good days, he will eat stacks. And still it's better if I leave him to get on with it with no coaxing. He'll say 'I don't want / like that', I take no notice and leave the food there, and before long, he's tucking in.

He's much older than yours now - but this is how it all started!

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 19:18:12

LOL, he is developing a kind of self-sufficiency already.


He stands staring up at the biscuit cupboard, hands behind his back, rocking from his heels to toes saying "Mm.....Mm.....Mm"


None of our Ds's are big eaters so I suppose it would be odd to have one who did eat mountains of everything.

Still very frustrating though. I've given up with dinner and he's now about to have his milk, hopefully he'll drink it all.

Frizbe Wed 04-May-05 19:21:39

Our dd has just started doing the refusing to eat tea bit, so I'm taking the hard line and not offering anything else, particularly as she's hanging out for pudding instead a lot of the time, which she is not getting without eating tea 1st now! (cruel to be kind).

starlover Wed 04-May-05 20:34:40

emmatmg... don't buy biscuits!

emmatmg Wed 04-May-05 20:36:56

I know, starlover, Iknow.


tell that to my Dh though.

pacinofan Wed 04-May-05 20:37:48

I find dd will quite happily eat almost anything if I allow her to watch Dora the Explorer whilst eating. Not something I am proud of, I would love to say she eats every meal at the table but it isn't always the case. To be honest, I am more concerned that she actually eats something rather than where she eats it.

starlover Thu 05-May-05 08:34:31

emmatmg... you need my DP. I bought a 3pack of biscuits on saturday. By monday morning they were gone!
DS isn't going to get a look in when he's old enough to eat them!!!

emmatmg Thu 05-May-05 17:50:52

Well, I've been a evil mummy today and restricted the biscuit intake. Had a few screaming tantrums with it but we emptied the toy box and he's been easily distracted away from the biscuit cupbaord.


He's just eaten a big bowl of pasta and is now tucking into a yoghurt. He ate the whole bowl of pasta too, and he hasn't done that in a ages. He didn't eat much at lunch though.

bundle Thu 05-May-05 17:56:15

woohoo! well done, not evil mummy, clever mummy

emmatmg Thu 05-May-05 19:40:53

He ate another yoghurt and just drank all his milk too.

Oooooooo, I hope this is the beginning of the end of this particular battle. I can start preparing for the next then, what ever it might be.

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