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Tether, end of, fast approaching - picky eater doesn't begin to cover it.....

(14 Posts)
LissaQ Mon 28-Mar-05 19:35:51

Right, that's it. I give up. DS is 4 yrs old - food is, apparently, torture to him. No meal is stress free - and believe me, I do jolly like nothing you've seen. We are limited to sausages, sausage rolls (yeuch!) and red cow triangle sandwiches for main courses. Homemade veg soup, 1 bowl, had daily, but only if I feed him. Yogs no problem - fruit/veg poison. Have tried all accepted wisdom, tried just giving him what I want him to eat and ignoring all pleas, he went without a mouthful in the day for 5 days and lost 3 lbs - felt like bordering on child abuse! He doesn't fill up on milk, doesn't snack on biscuits, doesn't snack actually and has never said "I'm hungry". You name it, I've tried it. Now seeking professional advice - any ideas? He doesn't eat at nursery either and meals out are accompanied by gagging and sobbing - this is no fun for anyone, he's not skinny or weedy, in fact he's tall and well built - not fat - just above average height, weight matches height. Seriously at wits end - watch other children eating voraciously with huge envy - truly have tried everything, really really want professional advice - would dietician be any good do you think?

Twiglett Mon 28-Mar-05 19:41:46

he is obviously, somehow, eating enough if he isn't skinny

I think you will probably need to rearrange your own head and make it not bother you, in the sure and certain knowledge that in a few short years he'll be eating normally

maybe get some child vitamins to be sure

sorry can't help any more .. 4 year olds are really very annoying at times aren't they (I've got one too)

LGJ Mon 28-Mar-05 19:44:23

I felt like killing mine, today he is 4 at the end of May.

I have in the main, given up on home cooked food as it does not get eaten, have settled for Blue Parrot for the time being, therefore if he rejects it, I dont get so uptight . IYKWIM.

One hour, one bloody hour, to eat a pasta and tuna bake and even at that I had to put him up to bed and tell him to come down when he wanted to finish it. He doesn't sound as bad as your little lad, as he will happily devour a plate of olives or fresh anchovies or smoked salmon, but this is RL and he can not live on bits, I dread mealtimes, and have to be honest and say that I am glad I work 4 days out of 5 as he messes the CM around as well but not as much as me.

Hope somebody will be along soon, who can offer help as opposed to sympathy.

Motherhood, the hardest job of all. Aint that the truth.

jollymum Mon 28-Mar-05 20:08:15

Look, he's alive, he's got to four. You must be doing something right! He's messing with you, play him at his own game. Been there done that with my first. You are NOT a bad mother because he won't eat what you think he should eat. OK, He's a little .... but he's alive. If you're scared of the HEALTH WOMAN thinking you're not offering him proper food , whatever. I want my kids to all eat the same, all four of them, but they won't. Whatever books I look in about parenting, whoever I talk to, they won't. They're individuals and now they're older, they can starve for all I care. I cook dinner, eat or or get yourself a sandwich. That's it, no junk, no sweets etc just a plain old sandwich and fruit. I am a shitty mum, but I've managed to get four of mine to 15, 12, 10 and 6. Hang in there, he'll never starve himself and if he'll only eat whatever for however long, he won't care but you'll get older and stressed. Give him vitamins and remind him, when he's a dad about his eating. HTH, I'm trying to help not be flippant.

WideWebWitch Mon 28-Mar-05 20:16:20

Hi there, I haven't had a real serious hard core fussy eater but it must be awful. Agree that he's got to 4 and he's alive and not fading away so you are doing something right. Can you just give him a selection of healthy but effort free food so you're not wound up if he doesn't eat it? Like melon, strawberries, apples, satsumas, bananas, grated cheese? All stuff that isn't much effort for you? Or leave fruit or bowls of healthy things lying around and let him have it if he wants and not if he doesn't want? I wouldn't jolly him along though, he's using it to control you imo! I'd be very calm, say 'there it is', airily (I know it's easier typed than done) and leave him to it. Try not to make it an issue, he may just give up and eat something. He prob does know you think it's an issue, you weighed him for a start. Good luck.

tiddlypom Mon 28-Mar-05 20:31:37

I can't claim to have cracked this one, as dd is still fussy, but with ds I've found it v useful to invite round - often - friends of his who are voracious eaters: they seem to set a pace for eating without me making any comment or effort - they just set a really good example. They love food, they can't get enough of it. Dd also eats much better when she is eating with a friend of hers who is a healthy eater than with another friend who is herself very picky.

tillykins Mon 28-Mar-05 20:33:50

You and me both Lissa, except mine is only 16m and I am ready to scream - he won't even taste anything, I could cry. He lives on milk, fruit and toast really, its driving me quite mad

LissaQ Tue 29-Mar-05 15:25:15

Well, at least I'm not on my own! Just got to end of tether yesterday - I mean I love food - it's hard to stop me, I just can't comprehend not caring about it!!!! It's probably DH driving me nuts, I can deal ok by myself but to have him issuing threats is NOT helping - and yes, I've told him, and yes, he always regrets it afterwards but that's not good enough! Stressed - put it down to chocolate, or not enough of it!

ambrosia Wed 30-Mar-05 20:41:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2boysmum Wed 30-Mar-05 20:53:09

I sympathise, at 3 our eldest ate mostly spready cheese and sausages for about 6 months whilst I threw all the lovingly prepared meals in the bin ( so much for 5 a day, more like 5 a week if you were lucky at the time!) but at just turned six he has grown out of it and now eats his meals along with the rest of us. Mind you I have toughened up and if you dont eat the dinner I have cooked there is nothing else on offer!
He now eats some friut and veg every day and tries new things, ate a strawberry today and liked it!

elliemae Wed 30-Mar-05 21:07:34

hi totally know what you going through!
my dd 26 mnths and only eats tomato soup (fed by me) mash & gravy (fed by me) and yogerts,she seems to have no appitite and never really has.My dd has a speach therapist and dietitian both have not helped as my dd has other plans!!! I agree with advice given just try and chill if his weight is ok! My dd is very slim but i have had to chill about it all other wize ill be in an early grave.I get by by thinking she will grow out of it!!

Chin up .

Tommy Wed 30-Mar-05 21:44:50

Hang in there - there are so many mums out there who know what you're going through. My DS1 recently had his 3 year check and I wrote down every thing that he will eat (on a very short list ) BUT... it made me realise that what he does eat is OK (smiley faces and Alphabites excepted)and even if it's boring, then that's up to him. Mine is also tall with normal weight. He just seems to have a really small appetite and a very unadventurous attitude to food.
A few weeks ago, we had some people from a healthy eating thing at our toddler group giving our healthy snacks at break time. DS1 had a cream cracker with a cheese triangle and some raisins. When we got home I started talking about lunch and he said, in genuine surprise that I suggested it, "But I had lunch already at play group" - not interested in food at all.
Please, please try not to let it worry you (easier said than done I know)

saadia Wed 30-Mar-05 22:14:03

Hiya, I totally know how frustrating and worrying it is. My ds aged 3 is also incredibly difficult to feed - I actually spoonfeed him milk twice a day so that he gets something nutritious down him. He also has a very limited diet. I once sat a tv prog about a little boy who ate hardly anything, and when he was checked the doctors discovered that he was suffering from a kind of heartburn which made him afraid to eat.
I did think that my ds might also have something like this because when he was younger he was always gagging on his food. My doctor said that he might have a problem swallowing due to a narrow food passage and that this would resolve with time. I know I've been rambling but my point is that it might be an idea to get things checked.

pgra Fri 01-Apr-05 14:58:11

Like everyone else I know what you are going through aswell. I get really uptight just before a meal thinking I may aswell just cook it & chuck it in the bin without offering it to my dd. It is so frustrating when they won't even try something & even more frustrating when they say they don't like something which they have eaten previously!!! I know it is wrong but I get really worried if my dd doesn't eat a meal & so after I have thrown one meal away, I try several other meals before throwing them all away! So, I think I am going to just say that is it, take it or leave it! At least she would eat her breakfast but the last few days she now doesn't 'like' it - i just want to scream - you have been eating breakfast for the last two years, what is different about it today !!!!
But like everyone else, she seems to be the right weight - not skinny. She does eat all types of fruit & toast with jam but that's about it! aaarrghhh

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