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Help needed with fussy eater please.

(7 Posts)
hollaall Tue 08-Jul-08 20:44:27

Just joined mn and love to hear what I can do about my 20 months dd who stopped eating savory foods. She eats tones of fruits, some bread (no fillings) and when in a full moon some fish fingers. she used to eat all home made food (nice casseroles, but now she wouldn’t even try it. last week she just went off milk as well, which she used to have around 400ml a day. I’m really panicking...

nobodysfool Tue 08-Jul-08 21:14:29

Hello Hollaall and welcome.
I have a ds who has just turned 3 and we have had the same "problem" with him from roughly the same age as your dd.
It is an awful feeling when they refuse food over and over again and i don't think unless you have had a child do it you will know the upset and frustration for the adult.
So i really feels for you but i promise that things do get better.
Like your dd my ds used to eat anything but one day just went off everything.
Apparently it is very common and will change.
Fingers crossed.
Have you tried more finger foods instead of "proper" meals?
We are at the stage where if he refuses to eat his dinner he goes without but i'm not sure if your dd is a bit young for that.
Oh and the only way we can get milk down ds is with cereal.Weetabix is a god send i can get loads of milk soaked into them.

hollaall Tue 08-Jul-08 21:43:29

Hi nobodysfool.
thank you very much for your reply.

it really did make me feel much better
you are so right when you mentioned the level of frustation and anxiety which maybe just another mum who went through the same can truly simpatise.

I've been thinking in a tougher approach such as not offer any other food if she refuses her main meal, but was concerned with that, plus she eats plenty of fruit and also juices i made with vegetables .

i will try the weetabix and she is having milk with milkshake.
although she is having good stuff i wonder if she will became a fussy eater because, at moment she is just keen on sweet stuff, but your testimony about you ds help me to calm down and understand that can be just a faze. thanks again.

nobodysfool Wed 09-Jul-08 08:37:00

It feels like i am cooking a meal for the bin!
We have started a book of new things he has trying and write them in the book and draw a picture of it and let him colour it in.It must be helping in some sort of way as he has tried 11 new things in the last few weeks.
I assume you have tried eating together (thats what all the books tell you to do but it never made an ounze of difference here).
The only thing that i have changed is my behaviour, i used to get really stressed out about it and sometimes end up in tears away from ds but i can honestly say now that if he doesn't eat what i cook for them i take it away without any comments or "just try a little bit".
If you do go down this route the only advice i can give is not to worry if they go without a meal they dont starve and they certainly make up for it at the next meal time.
Also,we must remember this is a phase and most kids grow out of it.How many adults do you know who will only eat fruit and bread?
Let me know how you get on and hey its about the only thing they can actually control at this age so they will make the most of their new found power.
Keep in touch and let me know how she gets onsmile

hollaall Wed 09-Jul-08 16:27:59

I’ll try to keep my cool. I was really panicking, but as u mentioned it is the only thing they have control. Maybe this is the challenging for me: to give up the MY control and relax, accepting her flow. I also do believe they do pick up the vibes, so the more anxious one gets the more fancy they get.

Again thanks for your words of advice. It had a great impact on my well being . I will keep u informed about any development

cazfinch Mon 21-Jul-08 22:52:47

I started a similar thread to this a few months ago when my son started to refuse everything except fish fingers and Thomas yoghurts. I lost my cool big time, very upset and visibly so in front of him and that really made things much worse. Now I am a practised hand at being very nonchalent with him and he is gradually getting better. I try to make sure it is all finger food and there is at least one element of the meal I know he will eat. Also bribery - green beans = green chips. Organic yoghurts are called 'grandad yoghurts' ie I lie and tell him that they are his beloved grandad's favourites. Seems to work, some of the time anyway.

And then, yesterday, he ate mashed potato without even being asked to - unheard of for the last four months! I have visions of being able to reintroduce cottage pie, bubble and squeak etc. I found myself in raptures to my partner about all the veg I can now hide in mash! Who would have thought a sane, intelligent 41 year old could be reduced to this, sad eh.

dinkystinky Tue 22-Jul-08 09:22:22

My DS was a really fussy eater from age of 18 months onwards (rejecting lovingly cooked meals for bread)- he's now still abit fussy at times and not that interested in food, but so much better than he used to be and will at least ocassionally eat new things. The thing I found helped best was changing my attitude (no more trying to get stuff in him, keeping it all very low key and ensuring that there is one part of the meal in there that he likes). We always give two courses - a main course and then fruit or yoghurt for dessert, so at least I know he'll always eat something. It is frustrating and so heartbreaking, but it is just a phase they'll pass through eventually...

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