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My children hate me......

(23 Posts)
LadyTophamHatt Wed 12-Sep-07 19:12:21

Want to know why?

Because again at the dinner table they were being little sods

I;d told them over and over to stop messing about and eat their dinner.

I was feeding ds4 so wasn't actually sitting at the table with them.

Over and over and over I said it. We say it every single^ night fgs!

So. I reached the end of my tether with them and their effin dinner.

I took the plates off the table and chucked it all in the bin.

Thats why they hate me.

wildwoman Wed 12-Sep-07 19:13:09

Well done you! I never have the guts to follow through with that idea

RosaLuxembourg Wed 12-Sep-07 19:13:15

And tomorrow they will eat their dinner. wink

notnowbernard Wed 12-Sep-07 19:14:14

Good for you!

Can't imagine supervising mealtimes for 4 kids... I take my hat off to you!

princessmel Wed 12-Sep-07 19:14:26

LTh they dont hate you.

Is there any way you can feed ds4 at the table with them? And chat about school etc.

Or put the tv on? I know some people dont like that but it does work with some children. (mine) At least they should concentrate on that rather than mess about.

LadyTophamHatt Wed 12-Sep-07 19:14:42

I betthe F*cking dont Rosa.

I'm sick to tha back teeth with it TBH.

OI feel like letting them live of bread and water.

princessmel Wed 12-Sep-07 19:15:54

Myabe you could just give them bread and water for a few days....

wildwoman Wed 12-Sep-07 19:16:40

I made my kids a "delicious and nutritious" meal agin tonight, did the blighters eat it did they fun. I told dd1 that from now onI'm buying frozen ready meals...she failed to see the threat.

LadyTophamHatt Wed 12-Sep-07 19:18:28

BTW, they told me they hate me...I'm not assuming they do.

I told them I wasn't particulary keen on them right now either...

southeatsastras Wed 12-Sep-07 19:19:14

i did that once, it shocked them into behaving. though i had to re-cook it all again as i felt guilty.

princessmel Wed 12-Sep-07 19:19:59

How about my ideas?

wildwoman Wed 12-Sep-07 19:20:31

make them boring packed lunches tomorrow and popa note in to remind them to be better behaved at dinner, you have the control over the kitchen remmeber [throws back head and cackels menacingly]

ggglimpopo Wed 12-Sep-07 19:21:21

LTH - when we first came to Bordeaux I lived in a hotel for a while whilst flathunting. This meant that we ate out lots. My kids became vile and spoiled and ordered meals and then ate only the bloody chips and then asked for icecream. So that is all I ordered for them ....... a bowl of chips each and a scoop of ice cream, no matter what else was on the menu. Took a few days but worked a treatwink

It was years ago but the older ones still remember their 'regime'.

Can you tell I was a hv?!

Stick to your gunsgrin

Tanee58 Wed 12-Sep-07 19:25:35

Sounds like you have a good, open relationship with them grin! Course they don't hate you but they were probably shocked by the dramatic gesture - and I'll bet they're hungry, too. Any bets on whether they eat properly tomorrow?

slowreader Wed 12-Sep-07 19:26:50

I've done that.
Try not to flinch when they eat it out the bin,

quint Wed 12-Sep-07 19:27:53

have you tried reverse pyschology - works with DD1 a treat, but I know how you feel.

I was a nanny for 10 years and hated mealtimes if paretns were around as I'd work hard cooking a nutritious and tasty meal that I knew the children liked, but they also knew if they said they didn't like it Mum would give in straight away - so stick to your guns, your life will be easier in the long run!

LadyTophamHatt Wed 12-Sep-07 19:29:05

Mel, I've virtually threatened them with their lives to eat the poxy dinner without messing about.

nothing bloody works though.

Whne dh is here we all always sit at the table and I can guarantee it will end in a arguemnt.

I fed ds4 separately because he was ravenous but the big ds's would have distracted him so he would have left half his dinner.

(as it was he puked half of it up anyway....)

princessmel Wed 12-Sep-07 19:33:09

Well there you go, you can feed them together and ds4 will eat the right amount of dinner grin

Ok you've probably tried these but how about basic ideas like letting them pick the dinner and help cook it?
Reward charts,
Yummy puddings waiting on the work top in full view. If they eat nicely they can have them. The ones that dont eat nicely/behave can't have theirs and the ones that do eat it in fron of them. I find that works a treat.
Story cds.

quint Wed 12-Sep-07 19:34:22

You need to change tactics then and completely ignore any bad behaviour.

I am a terrible eater but not as bad as I was a child and I'm sure its to do with the fact that I don;t get attention for it anymore!

They are almost expecting you to go ballistic every meal time so in future eat your food whilst feeding DS4, be prepared for it to get really bad, give them 1 warning in a calm voice then if they still don;t eat, pick up their plates and take the food away. If they kick up a fuss and say they're hungry, bring out the same food but at all time remain calm (difficult I know)

It may take a few days and get even worse than now, but it will be worth it.

A good thing to watch would be Dr Tanya either old Little Angels it House of Tiny Terrors.

You need to try and make mealtimes fun again for your own sake as well as their.

Good luck

Hassled Wed 12-Sep-07 19:37:05

Good for you - I too have endured the hell that is a meal time with 4 children and on occasion have just taken my meal to eat in front of the telly and left them to get on with it - only to scuttle back afraid that they were only quieter because they were all choking.
I've also endured the hell that is hearing your child tell you they hate you - never nice. Stick to your guns

wildwoman Wed 12-Sep-07 19:37:38

Having tried lots of the things suggested I do get to th epoint where I parents never did all this faff i just bloody behavedhmm parentingprogrammes can make lives harder aswell as easier.

LizP Wed 12-Sep-07 19:38:54

When mine were being unbearable about food I decided that it was my job to provide a good meal and theirs to eat it. I set a timer for 30 minutes and said at the end of that time I was clearing up. Then I didn't nag - just left them to it. I also refused to let them have very early breakfast if they went to bed hungry. Didn't always make the meals better / them eat more but it meant I didn't get so stressed and shout at them. Probably took a few weeks to get the message. Threw away lots of food. Tried really hard not to shout.

hecciesmum Wed 12-Sep-07 19:47:38

As one of my best friends mum said to her when told "mummy - I hate you",

"OK - that's fine... It's my job to be your parent and teach you right from wrong - not to be popular. If we end up being friends that's wonderful, nothing would make me happier, but it's not the main target. That's to turn you into a pleasant, decent human being"....

I remember she was very shocked at the time that her mum had said this to her...but something clicked and now she and her mum are very close now....I've used the line already on my son.....amazing how quickly the i hate you's stopped

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