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The great food stand off chez Northerner: Who will win, ds aged 4 or me aged 30?

(51 Posts)
northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 17:27:25

Ds has controlled us with his eating for too long. Today I decided it stops.

Breakfast he ate frosties. Then he would normally snack all day (cheese, bread, crackers, fruit etc) then eat no lunch or dinner, unless I served fish fingers.

So today after frosties he has had nothing. Lunch was pasta with chicken and parmesan. He took one look and refused to eat. I have given him nothing since.

To give him hios credit, the little buggar is holding on. We have had whines for fruit or sandwiches, but I'm not budging!!

He has now suddenly lost the use of his legs and his writhing on the sofa with 'tummy ache' and only an apple will make it better....

Please remind me he is only 4, this is for his benefit. And I will win!!!!!!

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 17:28:20

Oh and dinner was offered 10 mins ago (reheated lunch) and again he has refused......

SherlockLGJ Sun 18-Feb-07 17:33:53

You will win.


Saturday/Sunday is a good day to start these regimes, as you can take them out and walk the legs off them thus creating an appetite.

DS who is in fairness a good eater, looked at our dinner before we went out and said, I am not eating that.

Two hours walking in the forest and he came and said that smells yummy.

And is mithering me as to when dinner is ready.

JackieNo Sun 18-Feb-07 17:35:26

Hold firm, Northerner. And good luck.

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 17:35:57

Done that LGJ. Spent the afternoon wlkaing by teh river in Knaresborough.

DS desparatley wanted to go into Mother Shipton's cave, but it would have cost us £14 so dh refused

Must say, it does look crap for that kind of money.

NadineBaggott Sun 18-Feb-07 17:38:09

stand fast there me hearty!

show him who's boss

SherlockLGJ Sun 18-Feb-07 17:38:21

It is a pile of steaming poo. Do not fall for it. We had to do it once with visitors, ooh the shame of being a local and saying I had been there.

tribpot Sun 18-Feb-07 17:39:36

Pasta with chicken and parmesan sounds great, let me know if you want me to come round and eat ds' dinner in front of him northerner (Perhaps this will encourage him if he thinks the gannets on MN will circle in and take his food from him unless he gets it in toute de suite).

Hold firm!

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 17:54:36

LGJ - glad we didn't go then!!

Back to the food stand off. He is still refusing to eat. Should I let him go to bed hungary?

pointydog Sun 18-Feb-07 17:57:28

has he ever eaten chicken with pasta and parmesan before? I mean, is this a usual meal for him?

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 18:01:12

POintydog, yes he has, but always been a pita by doing so. Fiddling with it, pushing it around, leaving the table to go to teh toilet, I don't like it etc.

So, to avoid meal time confilcts I would serve him what I know he would eat.

However, when at nursery, he would eat a wide range of things, because he knew there was no alternative.

There lies the problem.

SherlockLGJ Sun 18-Feb-07 18:42:38

Hungry even .


or is Hungary the Yorkshire dialect version...??


Personally I would let him go to bed hungry, it really is nothing in comparison to children living in dire poverty.


Make time for a huge breakfast tomorrow.

WanderingTrolley Sun 18-Feb-07 18:47:57

Good luck Northener!

It's tough, but as he's 4 I think you're doing the right thing.

Learning about his hunger and how HE can control it is a valuable lesson.

Controlling you however, is a lesson he needs to unlearn.

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 18:51:45

He's in the bath now and still not a morsel has passed his lips since breakfst.

He's stubborn, I'll give him that.

jambuttie Sun 18-Feb-07 18:53:30

How was dinner northener? did he eat any?

yorkshirelass79 Sun 18-Feb-07 18:55:02

Message withdrawn

danceswithnewboots Sun 18-Feb-07 18:55:28

Blimey, that's impressive Northerner. I have the same battles with 2yr old ds at the moment and I haven't been standing very strong. It's hard to know when to take that stand...is it too soon for my ds? He will literally refuse to touch some meals (chicken in a sauce with rice) that he hasn't had before even with dd eating it in front of him.

motherinferior Sun 18-Feb-07 18:56:17

Best of luck; I personally am trying a version of this with DD2, and I'm not sure who's going to win....

tribpot Sun 18-Feb-07 18:58:55

I think the local dialect is 'ungry' Northerner, stick with it, even though it's hard. He won't die from a lack of food since breakfast, and if you give in, each subsequent battle will be harder. Plus presumably he's going to nursery tomorrow, where he will eat (my ds is the same, btw), so no worries there except him saying "my mummy starved me ALL DAY"

Skyler Sun 18-Feb-07 19:10:54

We are also doing this with dd1 and her dinner. I am lucky that she does eat breakfast and lunch so get some fruit in there but some days (most at the moment) she is just messing and playing with her food and massively testing us. .
Good Luck it is hard work

filthymindedvixen Sun 18-Feb-07 19:22:47

I am watching this thread with interest (as one who has tried to be firm on and off for past 9 years...mind you, ds2 DID eat a roast potato today for the first time ever.)



Northerner, I can confrim, MS Cave is not worth the money. Though we did have a very splendid day there last summer. Prob more to do with me determined to wring the last ha'pence of pleasure out of the experience. ''no, no, we're not leaving yet, get back on the climbing frame NOW ...'' etc etc

moondog Sun 18-Feb-07 19:27:04

Good on yer Northerner.

Show him who is in charge (or rather who has control of the money)

Don't make a big deal of it though,or remind him of what will/has happened.

Smile in an abstract fashion and ignore.

Following progree with interest..

Dottydot Sun 18-Feb-07 19:30:13

You can do it!! We had all this with ds1 (5) and the rule now is: no messing, no moaning, no stropping; if you don't like it, don't eat it, but that's all you're getting! Some days he eats nothing apart from breakfast, but most days he'll eat something and over the past few months he's even started to eat things that aren't white (bread and chips) - last week he ate some lamb chop and dp and I were so gobsmacked we just sat there open mouthed and speechless throughout tea!!

Works a treat and I really wish we'd had the nerve to do it years ago!

mrsdarcy Sun 18-Feb-07 19:48:48

I held out for a good few days with DS2 and eventually I gave up . He has impressive staying power and as eats a good breakfast and can last on that. I'm really inconsistant about it.

How long did your DS1 take to give in, Dottydot?

northerner Sun 18-Feb-07 20:19:35

Update: Tucked him into bed and he said he was hungry, I offerred him the pasta again and he has refused.

Breakfast not a problem, he loves most cereals, croissants and will tuck into lots of diffreent fruits. In fact he would live on fruit quite happily. It's the point blankly refusing meals that is getting to me.

Tommorrow will be a better day. He'll eat brekkie, has a packed lunch at school and battles will commence at dinner time.

Re MS Cave - what else is there to do exactly aprt from teh climbing frame?

Yorkshirelass - I suspect ds will be the hardest person ever to crack, despite my new found assertiveness How was the wedding btw?

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