Fussy four year old and brother following footsteps!

[mollysmum82]

My daughter is 4 and is an extremely fussy eater.

She is allergic to cows' milk and eggs so I continued to breastfeed her till she was 2. I tried spoon feeding alongside when she was 6 months old but she completely refused the spoon. So I went down the baby led weaning route and offered her all the healthy family food dh and I were eating. She was great with pasta, toast, meat fish and some fruit but hated veg, anything tomato based and anything with a sauce which really took out most of our family meals (we eat a lot of stir frys, curries, bologneses) etc.

She didn't really consume much at all until she was taken to hospital for a few nights with something unrelated (breathing problems). The hospital gave her lots of 'kids food' that I'd always tried to avoid buying before (fish fingers, nuggets, sausages, chips). And she ate every single mouthful! It was such a joy to see her eat that I started buying all the foods that she'd tried in hospital. Up until recently I've been moderately happy with her diet. She has:

Cereal with rice milk and banana for breakfast

Alternate ham/smoked mackerel/tuna/hummus with soft bread/toast/pitta/bagel and chopped apple for lunch

Salmon fillets/fish fingers/roast beef/southern fried breaded chicken/chicken breast wrapped in fajita bread/sausages with pasta/rice/cous cous chips and either avocado, pimentos, antipasti mushrooms or mango (all found by massive trial and error - she won't touch normal veg!) followed by a soya pudding

I was happy enough with this diet as at least she's included all the food groups but I would like to cook 'saucy' family meals for us again, particular now I have a 1 year old ds who I do t want limited food choices because of his sister (if he sees her nuggets he doesn't want our lasagne!) And she's started to be fussy even about the limited food she does eat, rejecting ham that has a streak of a darker colour in, wanting sausages peeling etc. she's also started to say no to stuff she loved, like the salmon.

One of the things that's bothering me is my parents look at me in disgust when I give her 'kids food' as we're all real foodies and my brother and I ate happily every healthy meal my mum cooked.

So I just wanted advice really. Do you think there is a problem with what she's eating ? Do you think I need to stop cooking her separate meals? It's hard as I don't want her to lose weight, she's had so many health problems already. Thanks so much

[ImaginativeNewName]

It's much, much healthier than the very limited diet of my fussy 4yo. Sigh...

[MilkRunningOutAgain]

I was careful to feed my extremely healthy DS a very healthy diet. But dd had reflux and failed to thrive. And I ended up giving her what she wanted, within limits, I always avoided sweet treats. I think it's very difficult to feed a fussy child well if there are other health issues involved. I know from direct experience that not all children will eat what they need if given choices they don't like. Your dd's diet could be better, but it could also be worse. You could try just switching to family foods for a day or two and see if it works. Or you could try gradually adding new foods, which can take years with some kids, but many get there in the end. Good luck and don't let your parents get you down, she's your dd and you are doing your best.

[mollysmum82]

Thank you so much for your replies. So sorry I'm just getting back to you now, we've just moved house.

[Toowittoowoo]

I agree with Milk, I think there has to be a balance between feeding them what they will eat and feeding them what you would like them to eat. Her diet doesn't seem too bad but I can understand why you would want it to be better.

I batch cook the same 5 meals over and over again and we eat them twice a week. My 3 year old is now becoming more familiar with these and has stopped questioning them. I cook a

veg curry (she started only eating the rice but now eats all of it),
spag bol (has always eaten it)
chicken pie (I serve it with roast potatoes and broccoli so she just used to eat them but I managed to get a few mouthfuls of chicken into her last week),
bbq beef mince (the mince goes in bread rolls with cheese and I either put corn on cob or salad with it - she used to just eat the bread roll and sweetcorn but will now eat a bit more variety)
goulash (she will still only eat the mash and carrots that i serve with this and I'm considering changing this meal).

If she moans I just tell her to eat whatever she wants and I concentrate on trying to have a nice family meal rather than getting her to eat.

not sure if this approach will help you though.