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DH likes different food to me and mostly different to dc - anyone else got the same problem or advice?

(16 Posts)
couldwinterstopnowplease Sun 07-Apr-13 22:22:06

Dh is, to me, being fussy, about food and is suggesting that he can just have a different dinner to us. I think this sets a bad example to our very un fussy dc and I think that mostly we should all have the same.

Problem is we don't like the same things. DH does not eat meat which is fine (nor does dc and I'm not bothered about eating it at home - I have it a little if eating out) but then he doesn't like Quorn, pasta, risotto, prawns etc.

We have a lot of fish and some veggie sausages but then other than that frankly it's a struggle to think of things as I would otherwise make maybe pasta once a week and quorn something or other once a week. We have a stir fry sometimes but that's a pain as we will have prawns or quorn but dh doesn't like them and wants tofu.

Dh does like tofu and beans/ pulses and would prefer meals with those but ds and I aren't keen on tofu and I hate beans. I can accept we all dislike the odd thing - me beans and tofu - but dh's list seems longer.

I'm the one shopping and cooking so am not keen on considering two meals most days, and I just think we all need to compromise. Dc and I came up with a plan tonight saying we all had to accept that sometimes we have to have things we don't like given the situation but dh says he doesn't want to eat things he isn't keen on so will have something different.

LimeFlower Sun 07-Apr-13 22:54:40

Let him cook for himself then if he refuses to meet all of you half way.He's got the attitude "my way or no way".So everybody must compromise except him?And you will be stuck at the cooker twice as long as usual?

Prepare some stuff for him in bigger quantities and freeze?
Serve him something without saying what it is or lie about it ?

My DH is a fusspot and doesn't eat some stuff,he either has something from the freezer while I enjoy things he doesn't like or I lie about things he's eating.

couldwinterstopnowplease Sun 07-Apr-13 22:57:21

I definitely don't want to cook two lots of dinner. I work PT too and one lot is enough!

I might well do the freezer thing though. It sets such a bad example to dc when dh is refusing perfectly decent stuff. And stuff I know he used to eat for that matter. Grrr.

VivaLeBeaver Sun 07-Apr-13 22:57:48

My Dh is like this. I haven't cooked for him for years, best thing I ever did.

I eat with dd. he sorts his own meal out when he comes home and can satisfy his neurotic food fads to his hearts content.

couldwinterstopnowplease Mon 08-Apr-13 00:17:08

Actually thinking about it the fact he used to eat these things bugs me a bit as it does suggest it is faddiness.

I just don't think I can be as drastic as not cooking for him as I see my other role as a PT worker only as cooking dinner. I feel however that within reason I should choose things the majority of us like not the minority!

TotemPole Mon 08-Apr-13 08:37:19

You could plan some meals that are mainly the same but with a slight variation to suit. He prepares his special ingredient and does the extra cooking.

If you do a stir fry you just need one extra pan. Add quorn to one and tofu to the other. The veg and rice or noodles would be the same. So he could prepare the tofu (sorry I don't know you what you do with it, so I don't know how big a task that is) and stand there and stir the extra pan.

Would something like that work?

sharond101 Mon 08-Apr-13 22:25:27

We like totally different things. We always have 3 dinners per week the same, 1 or 2 with similar constituents (e.g different sides or sauces) and the rest we each have what we enjoy. I tend to batch cook the meals which we eat on the night we have different things as it's so much easier. Tonight I had freshly made pasta, DH had steak pie from the batch cooking drawer in the freezer.

couldwinterstopnowplease Mon 08-Apr-13 23:41:11

Totem, stir fries are the only thing we've found we can do that with. We have prawns and he has tofu in his and it works well but maybe because the extra cooking and prep is so minimal. Any other ideas we can do similar with would be great too.

Sharon that sounds like a good compromise. At the moment I'm tearing my hair out feeling like I'm trying to fit a square peg in a round hole finding things we all want.

kiwigirl42 Mon 08-Apr-13 23:49:25

my DH does not often eat with me and DS. I always offer and its up to him whether he joins us, otherwise he gets his own. just let him get on with it

ArbitraryUsername Mon 08-Apr-13 23:53:58

Wouldn't it be better to have a cooking rota and whoever's cooking gets to choose? So sometimes you eat stuff you're not all that fond of and sometimes your DH does (and generally try to avoid stuff either of you genuinely loathe). Then you both set a good example.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 09-Apr-13 00:00:44

If you press tofu with weights for a while and then marinate it and bake it, it tastes a zillion times nicer than anything that can happen to it in a frying pan. It might be worth giving it a try at least?

DD1 hates beans but does like lentils - have you tried them? You can make lovely soups with them, as well as dahl.

If you do a stir fry, you can always cook the meat/prawns/tofu/whatever separately and combine at the table.

What else does he like apart from tofu and beans? Noodles? Rice? Potatoes? Eggs? Maybe we can think of some more suggestions then.

couldwinterstopnowplease Tue 09-Apr-13 13:39:46

He likes eggs so we could do omelettes more than we do I guess.

I can put up with lentils smuggled in something. I am willing to compromise on that so it's annoying that dh doesn't do the same haha.

I like the idea of the baked tofu - it's the texture we're not keen on.
Have you got a recipe for that please?

I can't expect Dh to cook as I work part-time and he works long hours, plus I only have one older dc so it's pretty easy after school and it makes sense that I should cook most days. He does the occasional Sunday dinner (stir fry!)

Meanwhile I don't really want to leave him to it as I feel it's part of my justification for being at home with dc after school - that I do more of this stuff. Then again I think I'm offering a reasonable selection of foods so he should accept what I cook within reason!

Puddlelane Tue 09-Apr-13 14:55:20

How about egg fried rice with veggies in tofu in one pan and prawns, chicken in another?

Bean burgers they don't taste so erm beany then!

couldwinterstopnowplease Tue 09-Apr-13 15:57:54

Ha he doesn't like egg fried rice either (sigh!)

Could do Thai Green Curry that way I guess?

Hmm bean burgers are a possible, will look recipes up.

Keep the suggestions coming and thanks to everyone so far.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie Tue 09-Apr-13 17:39:43

If he likes potatoes, you could try doing kind of little bubble and squeak cakes for him by mixing the mashed potato with cooked or grated vege and cheese; the meat eaters could have it as a side dish with chicken or something?

Buy a pack of plain firm tofu (from the fridge aisle). Open and drain it. Wrap it in a teatowel and put on a plate then put another plate on top and weigh it down with a couple of tins. Leave it for an hour or two. Mix some olive oil with Chinese five spice powder. Slice the tofu into thin slices and then dip in the oily spice on both sides. Whack on a non-stick baking tray and roast it for about 40 mins. This is a waitrose recipe and was designed to be eaten in Chinese pancakes with shredded spring onions, cucumber slices and hoisin or plum sauce but it would be good with a stir fry or even as a kind of veggie BLT I think.

Eggs - fritata and Spanish omelette both good and more filling than just omelettes / hard boiled eggs are really nice with a chickpea or lentil curry.

Thai green curry would be v easy to make veggie or meaty at the end of cooking - cashew nuts or omelette strips or tofu for him and chicken for the carnivores.

TotemPole Wed 10-Apr-13 02:30:21

What about tacos? You could do one lot of Quorn mince and one lot of re-fried beans, the rest would be the same for both.

If you like peppers and eggs then this this piperade with eggs, looks tasty, serve with some crusty bread. I haven't tried this particular recipe, I used to make it ages ago and wanted to try again and found it while Googling. The basic recipe is a tomato and pepper thick sauce base. There are variations, some add things like chorizo, some are totally veggie.

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