refusing to eat

[indigo46]

My 2 and half year old has recently this week stopped eating meals. She is refusing all her favourites. Even spitting it out. I don't know if it's attention or control. I'm trying to stay calm about it and I'm not giving her anything else instead. I'm a single mum and feel a little on my own about this. Is anyone else experiencing similar things with their toddler??

[KnockKnockPenny]

You would probably get better answers elsewhere on the boards rather than the Bloggers section :)

[codebrown]

Yes, just serve up normal food, whatever you are eating, and if you can eat with her then do. Don't pass comment, good or bad. Keep up chatter about anything. Only put a small amount on her plate. If she clears it she gets pudding. If she doesn't then take the food away and perhaps have a pudding yourself. If she asks for pudding just calmly explain once that she can't be hungry or she would have eaten her main meal. Stop cooking the favourites, stop trying to please, don't do disapproval or praise. Takes all the power games out of it. She will start to believe that it doesn't matter to you what she does or doesn't eat. She will become hungry enough to eat whatever you put down in front of her. Worked with my two. Seems harsh and you worry about putting them to bed if they haven't eaten much, but eventually nature takes over and they just start to eat. If you are worried it could be medical then take her for a check up, but I think she is probably trying to see what she has power over and what she doesn't. We have a motto "eat what you want, leave what you don't want", but they both know there is nothing else if they leave it.

[indigo46]

Thankyou Codebrown... I'll use that motto. Very useful tips.

[OliviaLMumsnet]

Hi there
We will move this out of our bloggers topic.
If it helps any, I also read somewhere that it's better to think about what they have eaten over a longer period of time rather than a day but a week's worth.
Best of luck with it all

[JiltedJohnsJulie]

Our DD was quite fussy and still is a little. Code's advice is brilliant. We did it with her and guess what, she eats. The bit about giving her small portions is also very good advice, if she clears her plate she can always ask for more .

It can be hard, and probably doubly so for you but she will eat. If it makes you feel any better, try and check her mouth for ulcers before you start and make sure she is feeling well in herself.

If you are still struggling you might want to have a look at this book .

[Teapot13]

My nearly 3-yo went to bed tonight having eaten nothing but ketchup and an orange for dinner! (She did eat other things during the day!)

I basically do what Code describes. No negotiation about food. Take the focus off her favorites. Everyone gets sick of the same foods time after time, no matter how much you love them, and ultimately just giving her her favorites will result in a narrowing range of acceptable foods.

You said she stopped eating meals -- is she eating snacks? Mine gets too full really easily.

Another thing that has helped us quite a bit is that she is starting to be able to cook with me. She can wash vegetables at the sink, stir things, etc. She grated the cheese to put into a soup, stirred it in, and ate a good portion of the soup, which I'm pretty sure she would not have done otherwise. We also made a carrot salad which we then ate on pitas with hummous, and she had never eaten carrots before.

We also were at the dentist this week, who said DD's 2yr molars are coming in, so that plays a role too.