Talk

Advanced search

I lost it today re mealtimes

(18 Posts)
VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 17-Aug-11 22:55:21

And I'm still feeling crap but I am sick and tired of cooking meals that do not get eaten. That's the third day in a row that DD hasn't eaten her dinner because it doesn't taste right. And I'm cooking things that she likes. Ds isn't any better.
Please tell me folks, what do you do? I adopt the eat it or starve method of feeding (they are 8 and 6). If they are really hungry but still have refused dinner then they can help themselves to as much fruit as they like. But I'm so pissed off. If they turned round and said 'Mummy, I know you'll be cross but I'm really not liking this much' it wouldn't be so bad but the whinging face and utter distaste make me want to fling it in their faces.

Am being a shite mum today. I got all shouty and they ended up in tears. Great, just bloody great. I am so annoyed with myself for losing it.

winnybella Wed 17-Aug-11 23:00:08

Hmm. Not sure that allowing them to eat all fruit they want is a good solution tbh. What about a slice of dry bread? <evil>

VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 17-Aug-11 23:03:06

Ah but they like bread, not so keen on fruit unless it's berries. TBH if they have fruit they usually only manage one banana or an apple, not suffing themselves by any means. Maybe they are just not hungry (though they say they are)

HuwEdwards Wed 17-Aug-11 23:10:25

I have kids 10 and 8, so not far off. I find that they eat breakfast like it's the last meal they will ever have - and then eat one 'decent' meal, whether that's lunch or dinner (or dinner or tea depending where you're from) out of the 2 remaining. One of them will generally be quite light, crackers and cheese with some fruit or peppers/cucumber. Then by early evening, they will ready for the spag bol type thing.

HuwEdwards Wed 17-Aug-11 23:11:22

and my kids say they are hungry, often when they're just bored.

HuwEdwards Wed 17-Aug-11 23:12:36

oh yes and have been there in the wanting to 'fling it in their faces'. But luckily we have a dog who eats everything but celery and parsnips (not that you needed that detail)

VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 17-Aug-11 23:13:17

They have a good breakfast - cereal or porridge and toast. They have a proper school cooked dinner but when they come out of school they are ravenous. I usually give them a snack asap and we eat later. If I get it 'right' they will scoff every bit (pizza or pasta/pesto) so I figure they must be hungry. Anything else is a bit of a hit and miss. Unfortunately mostly miss this week.

VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 17-Aug-11 23:14:21

Probably just as well your pooch doesn't like parsnips. I know what they do to my farts so a doggy one could be lethal grin

Tortington Wed 17-Aug-11 23:16:05

eat it or starve

amistillsexy Wed 17-Aug-11 23:16:06

I've been through this and when I got back from hols the other week I decided I'd had enough.

So...
When I called DSs to the table, I did it once. DS2 didn't show up, but I didn't say anything else (I also silenced the other 2 saying 'why isn't DS2 here?').
I ate my meal without reference to the DSs, but chatted normally to DH.
When we'd all stopped eating, I cleared away (including the uneaten plate that DS2 had not even seen) and threw all uneaten food away.
I put a pudding in front of DS3 who had eaten a decent amount, but not DS1 who had left the table (House rule-don't get down until the meal is over) and not DS2 who had never come to the table. I ignored DS1 and 2 clamouring for pudding.

I repeated this for 4 more meal-times.

All 3 Dss now eat the food I provide, and meal times have been pleasurable and stress-free for nearly 2 weeks. Previous to this, I've been known to eat in the living room because I couldn't stant to sit and watch them maul the food I've spent so long making.

At first, DS2 (who's been the worst offender for quite a while) behaved as though his ship had come in, but I could see him mulling it over by about lunchtime on day 2, and by Day 3 he ate lunch without complaint. He now eats everything I make, apart from pasta, which he really doesn't like. Tonight, I was happy to put his meatballs on a slice of bread when we all had spaghetti. He wolfed it down and finished first!

Don't know if it would work for you, but it felt very empowering to just throw those dinners away without a word being spoken!

By the way, any child who refuses meals has no access to anything but water till the next mealtime in our house! smile

HuwEdwards Wed 17-Aug-11 23:17:34

Dog can clear a room in 5 secs just by breathing. What's the snack then? maybe limit that to fruit (unless you already do)? Maybe, just feed them asap and forget snack...?

Tortington Wed 17-Aug-11 23:18:18

bread is pretty much sugar - that why they like it, cereal is like sugar in a box

dont do the snack - whatever it is natural sugar in fruit or something else - probably sugar in another form

why not just make them food after school and let them eat earlier?

VoluptuaGoodshag Wed 17-Aug-11 23:19:43

I shall give this a go. I must remain calm. I will not shout. I will not bang the table blush, not will I throw a knife at a cushion blush blush

Chant the above at first inclination of stress

Tortington Wed 17-Aug-11 23:20:35

liking your style sexy

mylovelymonster Wed 17-Aug-11 23:22:19

amistillsexy - bloody well done you! I have taken notes for future ref (4.5yr & 21months spoiling for a showdown)

amistillsexy Wed 17-Aug-11 23:24:59

Mine are 4,5 and 7.

Have wasted far too much time table-banging and getting indigestion!

lollystix Wed 17-Aug-11 23:27:41

Stand firm and continue. SIL pandered to niece for years making up to 2-3 dinners a night until she would eat something. She is now 14 and only eats:
1) hovis best of both bread (no other brand)
2) Burnt pepperoni pizza
3) Baxter minestrone soup
4) food from greggs

She is incapable of eating at sensible times and SIL feeds her at odd times now and then she eats crisps for dinner whilst my toddlers have to eat their normal dinner. Results in meltdowns so I try to avoid and meal with that side of the family.

SIL says her daughter just doesn't like anything else but really DN is just using food as a way to control her mother. SIL is too silly to realise sad

nannyl Thu 18-Aug-11 08:42:11

amiststillsexy also like your style smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now