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I've realised I don't really like mn much anymore...

(108 Posts)
Pheebe Sun 11-Jan-09 20:36:13

Mainly I think I'm tired of the sycophantic 'in crowd' who think they're all qualified to psychoanalyse other posters and close ranks if anyone not in the 'in-crowd' dares to offer an inconvenient truth or even just tries to join a conversation.

I realise I often say what should probably be left unspoken. I often post what people apparently don't want to hear, but I always post from the heart with the intention of offering genuine advice meant to help. Well almost always, occassional pmt-driven strop excepted...

What do I get - ignored or flamed, then if someone from the in-crowd says essentially the same, they get applauded for their valuable contribution <<sigh>> just like being at school really.

I realise this is a reflection of how low I'm feeling in RL at the moment but where I used to take comfort from posting and reading posts on mn, now I just find so much of it pathetic brown nosing between the 'in-crowd'.

Not sure if I feel better or not, but there you are, its out in the open. Not really so much of a flounce as a weary dragging of toes...

BBBee Sun 11-Jan-09 20:38:02

i thought the 'in crowd' had all upped and left?

i am sorry you feel like this - i hope you stick around but if not i hope things pick up for you - being a mother and feeling low are not a cool combination.

RiaParkinson Sun 11-Jan-09 20:39:24

agree BBBeee us rejects are still here!

FAQtothefuture Sun 11-Jan-09 20:39:46

I can never work out who's in the "in crowd" and who isn't.

As for being ignored.........well there's so many posts I frequently miss posts from "names" I know well grin

NomDePlume Sun 11-Jan-09 20:40:17

...and the point of this thread is ?

TBH, I think you'll find that 80% of the incrowd buggered off to moldies.

Whatever you are looking for I hope you find it in RL. Good luck

LoveMyLapTop Sun 11-Jan-09 20:40:49

I thppught the 'incrowd' had all gone mouldy!
I think MN is better than it has been for a long time.
Much more egalitarian

Lulumama Sun 11-Jan-09 20:41:38

sorry you feel that way. after all the mouldies furore, is it really necessary to talk about the alleged in crowd?

perhaps if you are being flamed, you are perhaps posting in a way people find upsetting/abrasive and they kind of miss the good intentions at the heart of it?

am sorry that you are feeling low, and hope you are feeling better soon smile

IAmTheNewQueenOfMN Sun 11-Jan-09 20:41:54

I truly think that the way you feel about mn at the mo is more a reftlection on how you are feeling

are you having a tough time right now?
maybe have a break but come back smile

RiaParkinson Sun 11-Jan-09 20:42:35

NomdePlume hmmm yes i think i like it...

the remaining old timers can be know as the 'Top 20'

Thursday night Peter Powell Top 20!

goingunderground Sun 11-Jan-09 20:43:21

blimey no, mn can make you feel shit in real life sometimes ime.

who are you normally pheebe, you can't just flounce with a name change, it isn't allowed grin

DragonLowFatSpread Sun 11-Jan-09 20:43:53

In crowd?
not anymore pheebe.

don't be ignored. just shout louder.

daftpunk Sun 11-Jan-09 20:44:12

there isn't an "in crowd" anymore.

mumsnet is cool now.

you're imagining things.

MoreSpamThanGlam Sun 11-Jan-09 20:44:19

Hey Pheebe...please dont flounce off. I think your post was not flouncy or egotistical as some flouncy ones are.
Ignore the NDP comment too.
I do think its less in crowd than it was a feww years back ( i left quietly then came back). I am not popular or well known but every now and a gain i say something that means something to someone or someone says something worthwhile to me.

Dont worry about being In or Out. Just be you.

Your flounce is rejected! grin

FAQtothefuture Sun 11-Jan-09 20:44:30

pah - see they're all ignoring me on here grin

bellavita Sun 11-Jan-09 20:45:32

<<waves to FAQ>>

FAQtothefuture Sun 11-Jan-09 20:46:15

grin <<<<<<<<<<waves back them goes to continue talking to herself on her house move thread>>>>>>>>>>>>> wink

naswm Sun 11-Jan-09 20:47:00

<waves to pheebe>

Coldtits Sun 11-Jan-09 20:48:26

i dfon't think there is an in crowd - I think you may get a lot of people disagreeing with you, or have the misfortune to have your post overlooked by someone posting exactly the same thing 2 minutes later, but I genuinely don't think there is an in crowd, and if there is, it's not a very obvious one.

Pheebe Sun 11-Jan-09 20:48:32

Goodness, I did't really expect any replies!

Lulu, do you really think I generally post in an unpleasant or abrasive way?

I do definitely feel there's an in-crowd, but maybe you're right, its because of how I'm feeling in RL and I may be taking things to much to heart. I never seem to be able to do 'enough' for people, don't mean real family or friends, but the 'new' friends I've been trying to make, parents of my sons friends. They're all of a similar age and I try and be friendly but one particular woman has taken a dislike to me, I genuinely have no idea why, and becuase she's a 'local' and knows everyone I seem to be getting frozen out by all except a few, luckily lovely, mums. Yergghhh I really do sound pathetic and self-pitying now...

CatchaStar Sun 11-Jan-09 20:49:17

I'm sorry you feel this way. sad

I can sympathise, it can be very tough when you're feeling low and then feel ignored when you've made what you think to be a helpful contribution to someone's thread.

I think a lot of the time people do read what you've written, but can't always respond to every poster. Which then leaves some feeling ignored.

With regards to being flamed, just keep in mind that you've got a social networking site made up of thousands of posters - ideas and posts will alway conflict with others. Also keep in mind that for many people mn can be a way to 'be free' and say things you wouldn't normally say in real life, this can lead to heated debates etc.

Make the experience work for you. Don't get hung up on other posters and what they say to you/what they don't say. Make it your own personal experience, and don't take it too seriously.

I hope you feel better soon smile

Pheebe Sun 11-Jan-09 20:50:17

I've always been pheebe incidentally, I have never name changed, cant see the point, you stand by your posts or not

OO I did try and change once when I wanted to ask something embarassing about oral sex but failed to check it had worked and still ended up posting as pheebe shock

MoreSpamThanGlam Sun 11-Jan-09 20:52:02

See? You post a nice long comment..it gets ignored for a regular like Lulu wink

Lulumama Sun 11-Jan-09 20:52:55

noooo, i don;t think that at all, i certainly don;t see your name and read your posts and think you are abrasive, what i meant was, perhaps it comes across sometimes in that manner. some people post quite to the point , unlike me, who goes on and on, and waffles, and sometimes that can be mistaken for being abrasive

i suppose what i am trying to say is that it is hard on t'internet to always get the tone right

people might read tone into a post that is just not there.

if that made sense, and you understand that, then god help us all!!

Lulumama Sun 11-Jan-09 20:53:34

<<nudges MSTG out of the way and looks important>>

Pheebe Sun 11-Jan-09 20:53:34

Ahh morespamthanglam - another rejection shock grin but in this case a good one

catchastart - thank you for that, that was lovely smile, you're right, perhaps I'll take a break, get a reality check and come back in a while with less 'neediness'

smile

thanks all, without expecting to I actually feel a bit better

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