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Being asked to pay as a guest to a baby shower

(26 Posts)
peaches5 Sun 08-Sep-19 19:43:30

My youngest daughter has been invited to a baby shower in November for the sister of a close friend of hers. She's been asked to pay £10 non refundable deposit and £15 on the day. She's a new mum herself- my grandson is 5 weeks old but am I the only one who thinks this is way out of order? My eldest daughter and I paid for our baby shower in June - and no one was asked to contribute to my stepdaughters which was yesterday. Is it acceptable?

AllFourOfThem Sun 08-Sep-19 19:48:51

Baby showers are grabby by nature so with that logic, it’s acceptable. grin

riotlady Sun 08-Sep-19 19:54:34

This is normal among my peers- you get together in a nice tea room or something and pay £10 a head or whatever. It’s also normal among people I know to pay for your own bridesmaids dress, which is also generally considered abhorrent on mumsnet! I wonder if it’s a generational thing?

Spanckd Sun 08-Sep-19 20:06:32

I paid £12 at a baby shower, also bought my own bridesmaid dress and shoes, and chipped in for the hen do. It's hardly like they're asking for £60/70!

Oly4 Sun 08-Sep-19 20:08:59

I just hate baby showers... grabby and unnecessary

Skittlenommer Sun 08-Sep-19 20:18:42

I wouldn’t bother going! They’re boring af anyway!

woodhill Sun 08-Sep-19 20:19:30

My dds wasn't grabby. Had it at home. People bought gifts but it wasn't expected and we all brought some food. She had loads of people there.

coconuttelegraph Sun 08-Sep-19 20:20:29

Is she planning on going and flouncing out in protest?

ZeroFuchsGiven Sun 08-Sep-19 20:22:42

I'd flounce too if I was invited to a baby shower.

WhinyWa Fri 01-Nov-19 00:53:43

Grabby grabson

BIWitch Fri 01-Nov-19 01:18:14

Why have you posted this in Flouncers' Corner?!

LipSyncForYourLife Fri 01-Nov-19 01:18:19

Tell her rather than money you will provide one of those ‘poo’ cakes they are so fond of at these things. But make it with real poo.

earsup Fri 01-Nov-19 01:56:03

Baby showers... Never been to one and never will..,.just imported grabby event... Avoid.awful.

Mesacasa Fri 01-Nov-19 03:05:24

Not normal. It's meant to be free and the guests bring a gift. Of course they are awful things but if there's one happening, that's how it works.

DuchessMustard Fri 01-Nov-19 03:14:20

My eldest daughter and I paid for our baby shower in June

Are you & your daughter co-parenting?

20viona Fri 01-Nov-19 03:35:20

That's completely normal amongst my friends and £25 is cheap! I'm also a new mum.

misspiggy19 Fri 01-Nov-19 03:44:42

It is an invitation not a summons. What is the baby shower and where?

harrypotterfan1604 Fri 01-Nov-19 03:47:30

I had a baby shower (sort of) we all went for afternoon tea and each paid for ourselves.
The idea was more to all get together before baby arrived. I specifically asked the girls not to bring any gifts and if they did then they weren’t them to buy something when baby arrived because gifts wasn’t the point of the day.

eurochick Fri 01-Nov-19 04:40:26

It's normal if going out for afternoon tea or something. At home I'd expect the host to pay but would ask if they would like me to contribute a cake or something.

Hanab Fri 01-Nov-19 05:00:33

I don’t get this trend if being invited but having to pay your own way 🤷🏻‍♀️ And on top of that having to bring a gift..

MaybeitsMaybelline Fri 01-Nov-19 05:04:22

Baby showers, ugh.

Littlemeadow123 Fri 01-Nov-19 05:40:10

Is the baby shower taking place at the friends house? If so, that is unreasonable.

If, however, the baby shower is going to involve afternoon tea at a fancy venue, then it is not unreasonable.

Beautiful3 Fri 01-Nov-19 06:16:25

If they were eating out?! But if it's someones home/ hired hall then no. Your daughter can always say no, as she needs her money for the baby.

Thewheelsarefallingoff Fri 01-Nov-19 06:53:42

She can decline. My Dsis asked me to organise an afternoon tea baby shower and there was no way I was paying for the whole thing (still had to pay for those that didn't cough up). The whole situation was a bit awkward.

peaches5 Fri 01-Nov-19 07:45:26

DuchessMustard- no my daughter is a single parent so me as her mother and my eldest daughter as her sister thought it would be a nice gesture

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