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The most horrible place I've ever visited

(31 Posts)
Brahms3rdracket Mon 06-Nov-17 11:47:22

I started coming to MN when feeling low and lonely following the birth of my third child (that's deliberately not DC3) and experiencing horrible PND. I've found the odd nice, supportive person, but in the main a bunch of horrible women who presumably find making others miserable improves their own sad lives.

After just scanning some comments on a thread in Mental Health by someone distressed after a woman shouting at her for letting her 4 year old child wee in a potty on the school run I can't come here any more. If anyone reading this was one of those telling her she was disgusting, they wouldn't like it either, she was wrong to walk to school (wtaf?) etc I'd just like to say I hope you experience the same lack of empathy when you reached out for support.

That's it really, my depression has actually gotten worse for reading the bile here and I'm not coming back. I'll be much happier for it too.

PickAChew Mon 06-Nov-17 11:50:18

I'm sorry you feel that way. Quietly sloping off would have been better for your state of mind than publicly flouncing, though.

lunabear1 Mon 06-Nov-17 11:52:07

Oh my god pick a chew you a part of the problem!

lunabear1 Mon 06-Nov-17 11:54:50

OP, I'm relatively new to MN and I'm out of the main user age range I would say and I can't believe how MEAN people are to each other. People can't help but get a little dig in just to make themselves feel smart and better when in actual fact they probably have very little importance in their own lives.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling down. I wish there was a cure, but I agree removing the negativity of MN may help you. Do come back though flowers

PickAChew Mon 06-Nov-17 11:54:58

If you say so.

Gunpowder Mon 06-Nov-17 11:55:15

I agree there are some horrible posters who completely lack empathy. I think as the site grows bigger it’s easier for people to feel anonymous from behind their keyboard and be more unkind than they used to be. I hate it when everyone piles on to criticise, it used to just be AIBU but it’s on more and more areas of the site.

There are still nice posters though! And corners of support. I’m sorry this has upset you and I hope you come back after a break. If all the good ones go it would be a great shame for MN. flowers

sinceyouask Mon 06-Nov-17 11:57:52

PickAChew, this is Flouncers' corner confused

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Mon 06-Nov-17 11:58:24

PickAChew is correct: this post will do no good for OPs state of mind.

elQuintoConyo Mon 06-Nov-17 12:01:56

I drifted into that thread and drifted out again.

I mainly stick to threads about films, music and Christmas! I have never posted for support. I do read a ton of threads about relationships and feminism mostly without posting blush

But this is flouncer's corner and you have every right to post and flounce! flowers

elQuintoConyo Mon 06-Nov-17 12:03:25

Although...why a forum wouldn't contain 'mean people' is beyond me. It's a forum. It reflects real life. There are meanies everywhere.

thecatfromjapan Mon 06-Nov-17 12:13:30

Don't take the negatives with you - it's an emotional drain you don't need.

Hope you have a good holiday from MN and you find the peace and strength you need to come out of the depression. I truly believe you will.

Gunpowder Mon 06-Nov-17 12:16:46

I reckon it’s that in IRL you maybe have one interaction with a meanie a week if you are unlucky elQuintoConyo (unless you work in something particularly public facing, in which case, gin ). On MN the hit rate can be much higher. AIBU has always been spikey but forums like mental health are usually a bit gentler in their criticism and focus on giving support. There were a few comments on that thread which were neither gentle or supportive, and some were ridiculous (paedophile ones!).

RatRolyPoly Mon 06-Nov-17 12:23:13

Er, actually flouncing when appropriate feels AMAZING. Far better for the state of mind that "sloping off quietly" as the only people that's good for is the ones you're leaving behind.

OP, good on you, make yourself heard and flounce if you need to. I agree, there are some extremely sad individuals on here and I thank my lucky stars (because our mental health is only strong by the grace of god) that for now I'm someone who simply doesn't give a shit.

elQuintoConyo Mon 06-Nov-17 14:26:03

Yes, public-facing Gunpowder plus i take the bus everyday and have shocking in-laws grin

I do read through some threads and think 'bloody hell!' but i'll hop off, return to active and find something less cunty fraught with spite.

But i am not worried for my mental health, so it isn't for me to tell the op, or anyone, that they shouldn't be effected by reading such posts. Not all threads are for all people all of the time.

Ok, i'm making no sense confused

I'm off to browse Pinterest.

Redguitar2 Tue 07-Nov-17 17:09:44

I'm so sorry you feel like that OP. Ignore idiots like PickAChew. The tragic thing is they came to this section, clicked on your post and actually thought it necessary to talk crap to make you feel worse. It says more about them than you OP. Same goes for all the crappy, vile people who sometimes frequent these forums.

You're doing the right thing. You're perfectly entitled to flounce and explain your reasons for doing so. Don't let bullies silence you flowers

TealStar Tue 07-Nov-17 17:15:33

I agree op sad
Too many keyboard warriors and pitchfork wavers here these days. I would never post a deep problem here because of the general lack of empathy and the high numbers of mners who seem to revel in kicking people when down with sanctimonious opinions.

That said I have been here for nearly fourteen years and it was once a very cliquey place reminiscent of an all-girls boarding school changing room. So the fact it’s got bigger is in some ways a good thing.

I have seen moments of brilliance on here though; mumsnet classics, some of the bereavement support, the ‘banter’ is unbeatable at times, which is why I keep coming back... smile

TealStar Tue 07-Nov-17 17:17:24

Oh, and style and beauty... love that wink

elQuintoConyo Tue 07-Nov-17 17:25:19

I was called a cunt on style&beauty TealStar.

It's such a last-season word, i was most offended grin

picklemepopcorn Tue 07-Nov-17 17:31:38

It’s a real life place with some people who are 'blunt' in their self expression. Like real life, I avoid the more negative people on here.

It’s a shame, because some of the posters I avoid are people whose opinions I respect and fine interesting. Unfortunately, the cruel way they express themselves leaves me cold.

Bejazzled Tue 07-Nov-17 17:33:48

Could've been worse elQuinto, you could have been called a mumsy cunt which is the worst insult on there wink

LemonysSnicket Tue 07-Nov-17 17:34:37

Thats awful. Ive seen a few posters believe this about MN and think they must have really had a different experience to me. Yes sometimes I will be harsh but mostly i think I post kindly and have found so much support and love from others on here.
I hope you manage to find the support you need somewhere ... I think where the viper approach works for somebody will never be universal.
I hope you feel happier soon OP.

LemonysSnicket Tue 07-Nov-17 17:39:38

Oh and when I'm harsh, I'm usually projecting and that gets pointed out sharpish ... I've had a few moments of blushing and apologies on my part but I do always make sure to apologise.

EarlessToothlessVagabond Tue 07-Nov-17 17:44:36

I'm guessing she's gone now. But MN when you are feeling low can almost be a form of self flagellation. I keep it very light on here and hide lots of topics/threads now. It depends how you use it but I think if I came on here as a newbie these days I'd be offski sharpish. You grow a MN shell eventually or you burn out.

NameChanger22 Tue 07-Nov-17 17:49:08

I'm mostly ignored on Mumsnet. Sometimes people disagree with me and call me an idiot, but I have a thick online skin and don't care too much about the opinions of anonymous people.

Sometimes people have been very helpful and very caring and considerate and given me great advice.

It's a mixed bag, a bit like real life.

oldlaundbooth Tue 07-Nov-17 17:51:10

It's online.

What did you expect?

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