Just want a rant

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Can't do it in RL/Facebook etc but I have had enough.

I am a slave, have had crippling PND and just feel so worthless. Everything I say just shirks into oblivion, people speak over me and ignore me. Usually in RL but I can't rant about it there.

I used to be so funny and confident, the stuffing has been sucked out if me, at least MN will be one less place for me to be pissed off with myself.

Actually feel better that I can say this somewhere and walk away. Nothing changes but I've said it somewhere so maybe it's a start...

[BOF]

Of course it's a start- keep talking, it sounds like you need to. You can move this into the right section at whatever point, because this isn't it.

What has brought you to this point?

[BreeVanDerTramp]

I'm just so sad, I can't describe it any other way. I have ceased to be useful, I've totally lost myself along the way.

I was the life and soul once upon a time. I actually want to shout this at people. I AM NOT A BORING NAPPY CHANGING BREAST FEEDING LENTIL WEAVING BORE!

But that makes me an ungrateful twunt doesn't it, because I love the DC and that should be enough.

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Thanks for replying, you are both kind

[BreeVanDerTramp]

I think I'll start with getting up and showered before they jump on me (en masse). It will be more than I've achieved this week.

Do I get points for walking about with a perforated uterus for 6 weeks, likely to stay like this till at least Friday? The pain is getting me down a bit.

[BreeVanDerTramp]

I'm going to bed too, I feel better after ranting. Thank you again!

[Mantella]

Bree, it sounds like you deserve a rant. I'm glad you feel a bit better for it and sorry you're in so much pain. It's hard when you feel you've lost yourself. Is there anything you used to enjoy preDC that you can take up again, even in a small way?

[Mantella]

And I have read posts of yours on here and you are definitely not a bore. Sleep well.

[TheDoctrineOfSnatch]

Bree, constant pain for all that time will get you down whatever. Hang in there, MN will be a good support.

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Hi everyone had a good sleep, DH off today so we have done house, I'm having a bath then off to park.

Yip 6 weeks lunatic back to hospital this week for my 7th TV scan, more rummaging and probable exploratory op, I don't care what they do now as long as they sort it - preferably under general anesthetic!

Pre DC I was all work and play, neither of these possible now - too far removed from my old job to return, moved (again) so no good friends as yet really or babysitters to allow DH and I to go out.

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Enough of me, me, me anyways what's everyone else up to today?

[Mantella]

You sound so much brighter after some sleep.

If you wanted to do something in the category of play, what would you like it to be?

As for my day it would probably bore you to tears (work/ house stuff etc) I don't want you to feel even worse.

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Ohh I would love to get glammed up, get trollied and go dancing!! But 3 DC under 5 don't go well with a hangover

mantella your day today sounds like my every day, screw the housework!

[QOD]

Don't go, I actually recognise your name so you must be good company

[Mantella]

Ah see you do still sound pretty funny and confident. Dancing would have you wincing in pain. Getting trollied on the other hand ...

[BreeVanDerTramp]

Just off to bed but thought I'd check in feeling much better after a busy day in the sun, really appreciate the support on here!

lunatic I had a management position in the NHS, not something I'd go back to even if I could! Hope you got DDs room cleared and the window fitting isn't too much off a PITA!

[Mantella]

I'm so glad you're starting to feel better. Sleep well.

[ThreeDaughtersLoveSandwiches]

I know what you mean but in RL it isn't as bad as it is on here, don't know why I stay to be honest as always getting ignored.

Glad you are feeling a bit better and hope your health problems get sorted soon.