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I'm despairing. Hold my hand?

(10 Posts)
SwordToFlamethrower Sun 23-Sep-18 12:16:29

I don't understand why women throw women under the bus the way they do.

There's evidence literally everywhere of our legal rights and protections being dissolved. Our very womanhood being erased and appropriated and there appears to be a vast majority of people who are completely fine with this.

I have tried to understand their point of view. They genuinely think that trans women and self ID are of absolutely no consequence to women and girls. That any danger is in our minds and that male pattern violence is some sort of myth.

I just cannot cope with the gaslighting and the lies being told to us.

How on earth are we meant to fight this? This whole fight is confined to the internet when I think it needs to be taken to the streets.

But as adult women we are at a disadvantage. Many of us have small dependants we can't just leave while we take to the streets. I'd be happy to take my kids with me. But many aren't prepared to.

I'm scared for my future. I'm scared I will be a prisoner in my own home. I won't be safe anywhere. Because there will be no safe spaces.

The Red Tent has been taken over by trans ideology.
The Women's March too
The Women's Equality Party is for men
There is no party to vote for

Where is safe? What can we do? How can we mobilise?

Seniorschoolmum Sun 23-Sep-18 12:28:27

Ok, I’ll bite.
I understand the issue with trans. I see the potential issues with safety. But abuse happens within gender as well as cross gender so I’m trying to keep an open mind on that one.
And I think awarding a male banker who spends two days a week dressed a woman the “Business woman of The year” award is ludicrous. I can’t imagine it will do his/her business much good because prejudice is still widespread.
But I also try to keep it in perspective because in 34 years working, I have come across one man who transitioned very quietly at a public sector agency about 25 years ago, and one child in the US who plays soccer in my niece’s league and is born male, identifying as female.

If I see problems arising regularly it will change my view but for now I’m an “undecided” who is prepared to cut people with issues a bit of slack.

Mumfun Tue 09-Oct-18 21:48:48

It is upsetting. But so many people are keeping quiet as they dont want any trouble, Most people dont really believe in it. Its very sad but it will play out. There will be some downsides for a while but I think eventually the Emperor will be seen to have no clothes. There are some promising networks and initiatives being set up that I think will start to grow and start exerting influence.

Yeahnahyeah Sat 01-Dec-18 07:32:12

I think emailing your local council, MPs, prominent people etc etc is a good start. Especially if they are/have been involved in an issue around this debate. The problem as I see it is the debate is so shut down that a) many many people are unaware of it or b) many people with concerns are with good reason too scared to talk of their concerns. Get a few templates ready that can be tweaked, that'd what I've done. Scary Orwellian times.

Mummaofmytribe Thu 16-May-19 09:15:08

OP I hear you. Feeling absolutely depressed. Horror stories everywhere. I've been very active online today trying to rally myself as much as others I suspect. I am extending my hand with a squeezy handhold. I'm going past fury into tearful. Let's try and take comfort that we hear each other and we see clearly what's going on. And we won't fucking shut up about it

DodoPatrol Thu 16-May-19 09:26:56

Do you have teenagers, though, Seniorschoolmum? I'm guessing you do from the name. It's very real, present and hard to avoid around our teens.

DS went out last week for drinks with a friend, not known to me, who is about to have 'gender change' surgery.

Given DS referred to this young person as 'he', I assume it's a barely-adult woman about to have a double mastectomy; though it could be a young man about to be sterilized or get fake boobs instead, if DS was being less PC than usual. I'm not cheering on that sort of massive bodily intervention either way.

I have a real sense around here of trans being, if not 'trendy', at least likely to occur among teenagers who wouldn't previously have gone that route. There will be those who regret it, and we're standing by while they harm themselves.

Mummaofmytribe Thu 16-May-19 10:36:53

My teen DS tells me that his GF's youngest sibling has switched gender. The family are just going along with it. The child is self harming. This has automatically been put down to the child's gender dysphoria. No further investigation into what might be causing this child's mental distress.
My DS is aghast but is unable to say anything of course.

DodoPatrol Thu 16-May-19 10:43:34

To DS, I just said, 'That's serious stuff. I hope they are very sure as some people regret the surgery.' He said 'Of course they're sure.'

Yes, of course they are. At 18/19/20, we all know better than our parents.

I frequently want to leap in and shake people awake at the moment.

Mummaofmytribe Thu 16-May-19 11:19:08

My DS thinks it's crackers and apparently that's the majority view in his particular friendship group, but far more so amongst the boys interestingly. He tells me the girls are far more down with the concept and the boys tend to melt away when the topic arises as they feel they're being preached at and get accused of transphobia. In my DS's words the girls think they're being so cool but can't see this is actually fucking weird. His words, not mine

RosaWaiting Thu 16-May-19 11:21:53

"The Women's Equality Party is for men"

I think they have yet to confirm their status on self ID, but otherwise, how did you reach this conclusion?

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