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Daughter started working as a lap dancer HELP

(3 Posts)
user1486485014 Tue 07-Feb-17 16:59:07

I am so concerned. My 19 year old daughter, who is studying acting, has called me and said that she has started working at a lap dancing club. My daughter is an intelligent, witty, clever, feminist who previously was a staunch defender of women's rights. She was the first to stick to the No means no principle, and was very against the world that promoted women as sexual objects.

Now, because she is motivated by not borrowing money to study for her BA in Performing Arts (Acting, Singing and Dancing) she has started this work. She has explained it makes a lot of money and that she will be able to pay off her student fees completely. That puts her into a position of no debt at the end of her studies and being acting, she knows that generating an income won't be that easy.

We have a good relationship and I've reacted by saying I don't like it and why it isn't good for her mental health and self respect, but that I want to continue an open communication with her because she needs my support right now. She said ok. She has said she doesn't like it but it's worth the money. She can handle it. I should trust her. She is safe.

I am not re assured.

I have come here to Mums net because I'm looking for advice. I am going out of my mind with worry, but can't discuss this with anyone I know. My husband doesn't like it either but seems to have checked out on the subject. I've asked him to talk to her but he hasn't done so..he says oh yes I will but hasn't.

Is there anyone else who has had this situation? What the hell do I do?


HiDBandSIL Sun 26-Feb-17 23:40:04

I'm afraid I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say that you've posted this in a very quiet corner of Mumsnet. You would get a better response posting on a more active board - "feminist chat" for example.

LassWiTheDelicateAir Mon 27-Feb-17 00:24:09

I'll second that. I don't know what you can say to talk her out of it.

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