Feeling like a bad feminist

(10 Posts)
IDontLookMyAge76 Fri 25-Nov-16 12:36:19

The other day at work, I was getting frustrated with myself cause I'd forgotten a few things I was meant to do by the end of the shift but ended up having to hand over, nothing major but little wee things it would have just been better I'd gotten done rather than having to ask the next shift to do.

Anyways, my colleagues could see I was shattered n a bit frazzled, I just said 'I'm frustrated cause my brain isn't working', kind of hinting at baby brain.

I know 'baby brain' isn't actually a thing and is actually just a side product of being tired and the brain reprioritising but kinda just used it as short hand to explain how I was feeling because it felt like it'd be easier to swallow for my colleagues than if I'd just said 'I'm tired'.

Feeling like a bad feminist for perpetuating the myth of baby brain Rather than just saying 'I'm exhausted'.

Can I get a hand hold please?

Lottapianos Fri 25-Nov-16 12:39:53

Have a hand hold. Everyone has moments through illness or tiredness or whatever, when they feel their brain isn't working properly and its frustrating.

You're quite right that 'baby brain' isn't a thing, but even if you had referred explicity to 'baby brain', you should still go easy on yourself. We all get bombarded by these messages all the time, and its hard not to internalise them. So basically, you're golden smile

MidsummersNight Fri 25-Nov-16 12:52:22

Forgive my naïveté but what is wrong with saying baby brain?
I get it's not an "actual" thing, except it kind of is, but what's wrong with using that term?

IDontLookMyAge76 Fri 25-Nov-16 19:09:14

Thanks Lottapianos xx

MidsummersNight there's an implied decrease in productivity and brain function, like someone saying 'you on your period?' Where a woman is just reacting negatively because shes hormonal Rather than just being tired or angry or frustrated at a shitty situation.

lananzack Fri 25-Nov-16 20:41:34

I have been known to react negatively when hormonal on my period, and my brain almost 'fogs' in my pregnancies. Why is that not ok? And not feminist to use those terms? Sorry, I genuinely don't understand.

MidsummersNight Fri 25-Nov-16 20:57:07

Same lananzack.

I'm almost always glum, negative & irritable around my period. That's a well known fact about me... same when I was pregnant - I was very forgetful & noticeably less 'together' and organised.

I can't find anything offensive in the term baby brain.

IDontLookMyAge76 Fri 25-Nov-16 22:07:11

I don't know how to explain it further than how I've described in my OP.

Suppose if others don't find it offensive then fair enough, it just didn't sit comfortably with me

TheExecutionerQueenMortificado Fri 25-Nov-16 22:10:13

Not 100% perfect at all times <> bad.

Go easy on yourself, sister!

IDontLookMyAge76 Sun 27-Nov-16 10:00:48

Thanks Executioner. Probably should cut myself some slack so I don't go mad when baby actually comes.

sleepingkoala Mon 05-Dec-16 14:37:45

Yeah go easier on yourself. All you did was word something in a way which wasn't quite right to you. You didn't actually mention the pregnancy anyway. If I heard a pregnant woman saying what you said in that context then I wouldn't even think anything of it. I'd just think, 'maybe she meant that she is just tired, maybe it also has something to do with the pregnancy' and I'd just think 'I don't know which it is and also I have no idea if pregnancy has those effects anyway so I'd just think nothing of it and just take it the same as anyone saying their having a tired day or whatever'. I mean put like that it sounds like I'd be really thinking about it. My point is that I wouldn't that those thoughts would just go through my head very quickly and that it wouldn't make any difference or pay it any mind to me.

For me to have enough reason to really think a woman was referring to her pregnancy and start thinking about it and paying it mind would take more than just that one comment which doesn't mention pregnancy. I had no idea 'baby brain' was a thing anyway but I wouldn't automatically assume that's what you meant by that comment as it could refer to other reasons i.e. general tiredness.

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