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I hope you don't mind this thread

(22 Posts)
H1idingInPlainSight Sat 29-Aug-15 21:45:53

I'm looking for a safe space.

My abusive H stalks me online, and has even found me in OTBT.

Perhaps he won't find me here.

Is that OK?

BitOfFun Sat 29-Aug-15 21:47:33

I think he'll find you, sorry. Do you clear your cookies and change your passwords regularly? Has he installed a keylogger?

BitOfFun Sat 29-Aug-15 21:48:24

I'd suggest Women's Aid from a phone he doesn't know about.

H1idingInPlainSight Sat 29-Aug-15 22:27:13

I only post from my work laptop, which is securely protected.

BitOfFun Sat 29-Aug-15 22:41:04

So he knows your passwords? How is he finding you?

H1idingInPlainSight Sat 29-Aug-15 22:48:58

Google searches. My first thread was on Relationships. My second, under a name change, was also on Relationships, but then moved to OTBT. As far as we can tell, he had that thread on Watch, so found OTBT more generally.

Fairenuff Sun 30-Aug-15 10:52:31

Hi, I've been posting on your other threads. I found this one because another poster pm'd me that you would be moving here (before you did) so I've been looking out for you.

He won't find you here from your user name but if he can access your laptop he might. You should always clear your history and use incognito browsing.

Does he have your passwords? Change them immediately. If you can't post here safely any more, do what has already been suggested, the freedom programme. They will help you with everything OP.

On the plus side, if you still want to post here as well does it really matter if he can read it. All he will see is how unreasonable he is.

Btw keep that last email from him. It's evidence that he spent thousands on counselling sessions without consulting you and that is proof of his unreasonable behaviour. Also, whatever you do, do not go to any more counselling with him, no matter how much it cost him. That counsellor is on his side and is not interested in helping you. Stay away from him.

petalsandstars Sun 30-Aug-15 11:05:06

Excellent advice from Fairenuff

I'd hate to discourage you from posting - but please be careful if he does trawl the threads not to give away something that gives him an advantage

AnyFucker Sun 30-Aug-15 11:15:48

Can we help you to leave him ?

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 12:26:07

Thank you. I have started to gather RL support now too. I've told my two best friends - one is giving emotional support, the other is helping me think through the practical points. But I'm going to keep posting here, if that's OK, at least until I've left.

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 12:27:07

I've changed all my passwords - and I'm only posting from my work laptop or work mobile, which should make it impossible for him to hack.

FloraFox Sun 30-Aug-15 12:33:04

This thread is showing up in Active so you might want to be careful.

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 13:44:52

I'm so sick of hiding.

RevsDeCub Sun 30-Aug-15 13:46:33

I found this in active too. flowers For you. T must be so stressful x

Wankarella Sun 30-Aug-15 13:48:24

Does he have a keylogger on your device at home?

My ex did this, he detested me being on MN. Hence 'ex' flowers

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 14:04:57

I don't ever use a home computer. Only a work one. For that very reason.

AnyFucker Sun 30-Aug-15 18:17:43

MN is still public though, remember.

AngelicaDelight Sun 30-Aug-15 18:19:57

If you get your thread moved to the other place, it is still Google searchable, because it was originally started in a searchable forum, and it keeps the same URL.

sad

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 18:36:50

I'm giving up. It's too hard. Thank you for everything.

SugarOnTop Sun 30-Aug-15 18:51:41

it's tricky but CAN be done, don't let him prevent you from getting the help you need. we could always do what i suggested in my pm?

H1idingInPlainSight Sun 30-Aug-15 19:55:13

You're right. Thank you. Let's try that.

SugarOnTop Sun 30-Aug-15 21:32:07

Heads Up: If you find op's new thread and want to comment would you mind changing your usernames for it please? The hyper aware cynic in me feels that he could search the history of previous posters to try n find her that way. cheers smile

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