Not sure if this is the right place?...dh and ds2 - am I over reacting?(8 Posts)
My ds2 is 4.
He starts school in sept.
He currently goes to a pre school. He is a very sociable boy, and in particular loves to play with the girls and dress up, usually as a fairy or princess
Dh does not like this.
He loves bright colours, and sparkly things (I call him my little magpie ) and loves to put on my jewellery and likes to look at my make up.
I think this is all totally normal btw.
He told dh he wants a princess lunch box when he starts school. Dh told him he couldn't have one because they are for girls.
My dilemma is;
I dont want my son picked on and made fun of at school BUT I also don't want him to get the message so early that pink and princesses are for girls and blue and trucks are for boys and that he is wrong to like them.
How can I handle this?
My Dc (boy) is 5 and is the same as your dc2. He recently got a pink version of a toy and has asked to take it to school to show his friends but i don't want to risk teasing etc. So we said no. in this instance I would aim to find a nother lunch box he would enjoy - neutral one ie bright with an animal, rainbow, etc
Just dropped him at pre school and he was quite happy wearing a sparkly red princess dress
I think as long as its bright he will be happy, thanks.
Stuff like this makes me so angry and so sad. There are so many little boys who love pink and sparkles as much as little girls, but still they are told it's "wrong". As parents, even though we want to be supportive, we have to take into account the potential for negative backlash, and of course we want to protect our sons from this as much as we want to let them express themselves in pink glitter!
Luckily, thanks to parents like you, opinions are gradually changing, and the more fabulous boys like your DS are seen out in public in princess dresses, the more normalised it will become.
Many boys like to dress up as princesses. I always think it is because costumes traditionally meant for girls are so much more exciting, all that glitter, colour and gold
Plenty of times at school we've allowed boys to dress up as they like but made sure they were back to uniform before (usually) dad came to pick them up.
It's tricky when you want to say they can do as they want but in the long run realise that the consequences may only affect the child. Again this shouldn't be the case but other children pick up prejudices from their parents. I think a lovely colourful lunchbox would be a good compromise.
My DS became a fan of pirate bling, colourful and sparkly. Hats with feathers, embroidered waistcoats and the like.
His end of week reward used to be to go to a charity shop and choose something from the jewellery section for under £2.
He's heading for a career in jewellery design now.
Yes, when I taught reception, a number of the boys liked dressing up in the silky long frocks and feather boas. The Victorians did us all a massive disservice I feel, with their drab and unornamented male clothing.
My son (4) loves pink/sparkles and insisted on a pink kitten water bottle for school.
I ummed and urred and suggested a blue one, but he really wanted it. Then I realised what I had done (pandered to annoying gender stereotypes!) and happily bought it.
I figure, the moment the other children notice/tease, he will not want to use it anymore OR he won't care (hopefully the latter).
So far it has been 12 weeks and there have been no comments/teases= success!
My 15 year old did this at 3 and 4. His dad wasn't keen either.
I ignored that and let him. He is now in the rugby club and one of those masculine 6 ft 2 girl magnets. Or maybe they are the magnet!
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