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What would you do if your daughter needed to get the morning after pill?

(17 Posts)
Sophestry Mon 15-Apr-19 14:40:55

"When I mentioned to my mum that we’d had sex and I was worried about the condom splitting, she marched me down to the pharmacy. I felt like I had done something fundamentally wrong and felt very alone. To make it worse, Mum wouldn’t talk to me for the whole flight to the States."

How would you react if your daughter told you she needed emergency contraception?

Read the full story here: www.mymorningafter.co.uk/i-was-marched-down-to-the-pharmacy-by-my-mum

Samind Mon 15-Apr-19 14:45:20

I'd take her to sexual health clinic/pharamacist. I'd absolutely show no judgement! People have sexual needs. There's no shame in it.

I'd like to think we'd have these conversations (she's only a baby now) before she decided to become sexually active. I grew up in quite a strict household so never really had the sex chat apart from the basics and what I learned at school.

It's really important to have a good open relationship with children as it'll encourage them to come to you and talk to you.

weegiemum Mon 15-Apr-19 15:40:36

I think we've had a discussion about it already. My dd2 is 15 and on the pull for some frankly awful period stuff. She has a boyfriend but I don't think she's having sex yet, we're pretty close and she hasn't said anything.

If her pull failed (like she hadn't taken it) then I'd have no bother in helping her get the map. Much better than a teenage pregnancy!

Quietlife333 Mon 15-Apr-19 15:41:38

Have a quick chat, take her right away to get the morning after pill and then have a good talk with her about how she feels about it. Maybe advise her of some other more reliable methods of contraception to use along side condoms, for exactly this kind of situation. These things happen to us all.

Quietlife333 Mon 15-Apr-19 15:42:54

Ooh also I’d get her to get tested for possible STD as a result of it breaking.

sue51 Mon 15-Apr-19 15:44:04

Take her to get the map. No judgement.

SimonJT Mon 15-Apr-19 15:44:06

I would support/help her in getting it if that is what she wanted, I would also encourage her to have regular STI screening.

Foxmuffin Mon 15-Apr-19 15:47:47

I’d give her a lift and lend her the money if she needed it.

If appropriate (ie it wasn’t a true mistake like condom breaking etc) I’d try and steer her to the GP for some contraception.

Raspberrytruffle Mon 15-Apr-19 15:51:38

I'd be pleased that my dd could trust me enough to tell me, I'd support her and not judge her, shes my little angel no matter what

Raspberrytruffle Mon 15-Apr-19 15:52:19

I'd also help her sort out some secure contraception too

FamilyOfAliens Mon 15-Apr-19 15:53:41

We’ve already had the conversation. I promised DD I would do anything she asked me to to support her.

stucknoue Mon 15-Apr-19 15:54:37

My dd is pretty open with me, she knows that we are pro choice and left condoms on the side in her bedroom when she left for school last term (boarding school) so hardly secretive! She's 18 though, but even if she was 15 I would not judge, I remember being a teenager

PacmansGapingMaw Mon 15-Apr-19 15:55:15

If 16 or over, I'd take her, then have a chat with her about contraception, check she's okay, etc.

If under 16, I'd still take her, but have a more serious chat about why she has felt the need to share that part of herself so young. I can't 100% say whether I'd get this chat right.

64sNewName Mon 15-Apr-19 16:03:17

Yeah, same, I’d just take her to get it. I have taken it myself a few times (many long years ago now), so no judgement at all.

BUT in that story I slightly think it is possible that the mum was stressed and busy and had a million things to do ahead of an international flight and it was just rotten timing - but the DD perceived that as anger at her for having had sex/needing the map.

I do think that fairly often, young people feel judged or disapproved of when they really aren’t being, because (a) it is a sensitive time of life, and (b) they are a little bit blissfully oblivious to other reasons why a parent under pressure might seem brusque or stressed out. And this can open up a gulf between parent and child, and that gets made into a narrative like the one in your link. It’s worrying and I don’t know what the answer is.

Basing that on my own memories and on my observations of my much younger siblings! I don’t have teenagers yet.

bengalcat Mon 15-Apr-19 16:06:40

I’d advise she get an urgent appointment with the GP or FPC or go to a pharmacy . Offer to accompany her if she wished .

DrCoconut Mon 15-Apr-19 16:15:08

Sex was considered shameful and "not the sort of thing that nice girls do" when I was growing up. I am determined not to have the same culture of secrecy and stigma for my own children. I don't have a DD but my friend went with her daughter to the GP to have a contraceptive implant fitted, discussed STD's etc and her relationship with her DD is so positive and honest. The DD has a steady boyfriend and a decent job and is as far from a delinquent as anyone could imagine. I'd like it to be like that if I had a daughter.

Childrenofthestones Wed 24-Apr-19 18:59:07

I'd be a bit hacked off with her not least because she asked my advice, which she told me she followed, which was to go on the pill and always use a condom for barrier reasons, but most importantly to not let her boyfriend know that she is on the pill as I know what lads are and how they put girls under pressure to not use a condom if she is using another method.
They take a lot more care using it and dealing with it immediately afterwards if they think it is the only thing between them and 18 years of the CSA chewing their ass.

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