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Why am I am so bloody furious

(30 Posts)
lilythemoo Thu 13-Sep-18 18:56:48

I am a feminist. I always have been. I have put up with the eye rolls and the idiotic comments ‘why do you wear makeup/bra/ fashion if you are a legitimate feminist?’ I will put up with it no longer. I am riled with anger and fury. For myself, for my daughter. For all women. And also for our young boys.

Patriarchal toxic masculinity may have been knocked down a peg or two since the #MeToo movement; and rightly so. But it isn’t enough. It isn’t even close. Every day women and girls are raped and murdered by men that they know and the Government continues to slash funding for women’s aid. If that doesn’t tell you, you are worthless, then I don’t know what will.

I am an Australian/Finn who lives in Scotland. I have found myself often trying to defend Australia by saying we aren’t racist, we aren’t bigots, we aren’t sexist. Oh, but we are. We are all those things and worse- we are full of apathy and inaction.

Today I read about a 9 year old girl who respectfully declined to stand for the Australian National Anthem at school. Bloody, well done! This girl is an independent, critical thinker that stays true to her own values and beliefs. This should be the norm for our children rather than the exception. However, this child had received the most vile trolling and bullying on line; including from politicians and people in the limelight.

This is my end point. I can no longer just roll my eyes. If I don’t act now, if we don’t act now then this vitriol against girls, against women will continue and the budding generation of feminists will be stopped short before they’ve had a chance even to bloom.

I can barely justify my own tolerance of sexist behaviour in the past, but I own that because of self doubt and insecurities. But I will absolutely not allow, NOT ALLOW the next generation to be thwarted.

Do we grab pitchforks and march on masse? Do we express our disgust through art and vandalism? How do we rise up as a collective, and be the women that we needed when we were little girls? My veins are pulsing with anger and fury. And so should yours.

AngelsAckiz Thu 20-Sep-18 19:29:02

You've peaked humanity and I feel your wrath. I share it in spades. Its utterly reprehensible what is happening in the world and I want it to END.
I'm with you OP.

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 19:39:41

I find your post a complete mess.

Every day men and boys are taped and murdered by men they know.
Funding for men’s aid isn’t being cut. It doesn’t even exist.

The 9 year old Australian... yes some politicians (female leading the criticism btw. Far-right senator Pauline Hanson said Australian schools were "brainwashing" children and called for Nielsen to be expelled.) have criticised but the backlash has been swift and substantial - from men and women.

Your post is blinkered, narrow minded and something I’d expect from a 13 year old who doesn’t read the papers and gets her views on feminism from T-short slogans.

titchy Thu 20-Sep-18 19:44:39

Every day men and boys are taped and murdered by men they know.
Funding for men’s aid isn’t being cut. It doesn’t even exist


the vast vast vast majority of people being raped and murdered are female.

There are specialist support services for male rape victims.

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 19:52:30


No more men are murdered than women!!

I’ll bring up the stat

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 19:58:42

709 homicides in 2017

71% men
29% women

Over last two years Men’s Rate has increased by 33%
Women’s has remained broadly flat for last five years

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 20:00:56

*the vast vast vast majority of people being raped and murdered are female.*

Pure bullshit, and yet written with absolute authority.

That is why so many of the discussions on this board are so ludicrous.

Poorly informed and very limited research but absolutely sure they’re correct. A toxic combination.

Fromage Thu 20-Sep-18 20:29:51

Who's doing the murdering, Lostandfound? And the raping, the sexual assaults, the physical assaults, the thefts, the drug dealing, the kidnapping....?

Because that's the issue.

And I'd love to see some stats on that.

PS We've read the 'raped and murdered' thing differently. I read it as 'raped and then murdered' rather than 'people who are raped in addition to people who are murdered.'

titchy Thu 20-Sep-18 20:41:18

I read 'raped and murdered' as being two crimes committed on the same person. Regardless, significantly more females are raped than males. The vast majority of rapists and murderers are Male. Male violence is real, and women are far more often the victims.

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 21:06:43

Yes men are mainly doing it.

Against women.
Against men.

Lostandfound81 Thu 20-Sep-18 21:07:27

No women are not far more often the victim.

Men are much more commonly the victim of murder by another man.

titchy Thu 20-Sep-18 22:03:21

Murder yes. But not rape or sexual assault. Or DV. Women ARE more likely to be the victim of male violence than men are.

Fromage Thu 20-Sep-18 22:12:52

Lostandfound. I don't quite understand your point here (and also I understood the OP perfectly well, as I suspect most of us did) but I'd be interested on your thoughts about these questions.

Why are these men committing the crimes against men, and why are they committing the crimes against women?

Is it for the same reasons, are the motives exactly the same, do events leading up to the rapes and murders having nothing to do with the victims' sex?

Or are the women mostly targetted for a different reason than the men?

SalemBlackCat Tue 25-Sep-18 10:55:34

The 9 year old was given a CHOICE of not being present for the playing of the anthem - much like Jehovah's Witnesses do. But oh no! That wouldn't do, either. The school has bent over backwards to accommodate her. They've offered to allow her to turn up after the anthem, but the madam wanted to deliberately sit in the anthem to bring attention to herself. I felt for her, UNTIL I learned of this.

imjayortonih8womens Mon 05-Nov-18 14:36:24

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sevens7 Mon 03-Dec-18 08:15:12

The more articulate you are the less likely you are to be violent.
The epicenter of feminism is in infants school, that's where speech practice i.e reading out loud is controlled. The idealist/feminist/teachers decided to limit it/ban it, that's fair enough, after all it's not natural but it was done during the video age when in families we aren't talking enough. This poor speech in some boys makes reading 10 times harder.
Poor speech/poor reading/poor understanding/less empathy/less feelings/can't express feelings using words.
Violence is a by product of feminism.
I read out loud at 38 and my temper/aggressiveness disappeared.

RelapsedChocoholic Fri 07-Dec-18 14:17:42

@sevens7 if that is the case, why is it only effecting boys- or are girls given secret ‘reading out loud’ classes?

sevens7 Fri 07-Dec-18 19:05:15

The most articulate woman is more articulate than the most articulate man and the least articulate woman is more articulate than the least articulate man. Women use both sides of their brains to process language, men only use the left hand side.
I am a 62 year old white male feminist, I'm completely ok with girls/women doing well in fact a better educated woman will make a better mum. (that's assuming she wants to be a mum)
I helped in a school for 2 years as a volunteer, I witnessed mostly boys being screamed, shouted, belittled, humiliated by teachers in infants school, this is bullying not discipline.
It's actually teaching bullying to the poorer, less intelligent, less articulate, they copy this when they become parents.
This is where disrespect for authority comes from....
The best way to teach respect is to show respect.....
Discipline is a part of love......
I wrote a 39 page report when I left school as a volunteer, now all schools are expected to have RIGHTS RESPECTING CERTIFICATES.
When we had reading out loud done in school boys dominated, now a boys vocabulary will mostly come from his mum. (that's if she's not on her phone all the time)
When reading out loud was limited/banned the least articulate mum's son was closer to the animal, large benefit money kept them there.
I was the least articulate son, left school with a reading age of a 6 year old and got a U grade in English. My wife got an O level in English and could run circles around me in a row. I never hit my wife but I could get really mad sometimes. As I got older I gradually became more articulate in a natural way, reading out loud at 38 put my temper and aggressiveness to bed.
We are now more evenly matched verbally.
What else do you want to know?

RelapsedChocoholic Fri 07-Dec-18 20:19:47

@sevens7 so boys are aggressive, whilst girls aren’t, because their brains are different.
Seems inconsistent with the fact that before “idealist/feminist/teachers decided to ban” reading out loud male aggression was also an issue.
Have male brains changed in the time since these feminists have had control?

And, slightly off topic, but given your response critiques only women- where is the father’s/ male influence, or do men bear no responsibility in raising well balanced, articulate children?
Perhaps the absence of positive male role models might account for some of the aggression, rather than it being ‘biology’

Perhaps the fact that women are taught to constantly appease, and regularly talk their way out of situations involving aggressive men, might explain why they are so articulate?

But, sure, why not- definitely feminism thats to blame for causing male aggression...

sevens7 Sat 08-Dec-18 00:21:10

Tax payers money can distort things so much that it's even convinced women they don't need men.
Take tax payers money away, i.e (reduce benefits) and men and women are brought back to reality, the only people who can sort the problems is ourselves. (not governments)
Stating something that you think is obvious doesn't change anything.
Only actually getting involved, spending time, talking at a government can change things. What are you doing to change attitudes Relapsed?

RelapsedChocoholic Sat 08-Dec-18 04:06:00

I’m unclear where I suggested government had any role to play? Men- yes, but government? Nope, I didn’t mention them
Where are the men in your stories?

Hahaha - women do not need men.
A balanced society needs many voices, including those of different genders, but that is an entirely different argument.

What am I doing? Challenging people when they make sweeping (IMO nonsensical) suppositions such as feminists banned reading out loud which caused male agression, and other such leaps in real life.

Reading out loud was not banned in the schools I attended, TAs regularly spent time one on one, with the child reading out loud.
Yet somehow toxic masculinity and male aggression continue regardless...

What are you doing, as a male feminist?
(So far all you seem to be doing is blaming feminism for all men’s woes)

sevens7 Sat 08-Dec-18 19:31:48

Ding Ding, lets carry on.......
One question at a time.
When you say you attended schools, in what capacity?

sevens7 Mon 10-Dec-18 00:26:03

Ok Relapsed I guess you don't want to say, you are either an Ofsted inspector or a supply teacher.
This how violence starts.........
State school hits and canes us, the most vulnerable copy it when they have kids, state school calls it discipline, it's not it's bullying. (although done in the 70s it carries on for generations)
State school streams children A-L and shames children in L.
State school bans/limits/doesn't promote reading out loud, this makes millions of boys illiterate including many girls.
Teachers shout, scream, belittle, humiliate, this is bullying not discipline, this creates resentment towards teachers or any authority.
The bad behaviour of some boys in school is probably caused by blind love at home and a poor vocabulary/poor relationship with the teacher.
Poor vocabulary/literacy of girls creates poor mothers, they are given a chance to leave bad husbands with government hand outs. (more resentment)
The vocabulary of some boys is not enhanced at home or school.
Poor vocabulary, speech, reading, understanding, morals, feelings, no empathy.
State school draws lines under each cock up and pretends it's perfect.
Doesn't see parents as partners but nuisances, doesn't ask parents what they think.
The paperwork that teachers have to do was created because the government couldn't tell where the failure was coming from, limited reading out loud or poor teaching.
More failure in school equals more jobs created ie speech therapy, learning support, teaching assistants, advisers on mental health, ED Pysc etc.
State school helps mostly middle class kids, in fact it's cheap good education for middle class kids.
The rich man talks more than the poor man, socialism takes money from the rich man gives it to the poor man and the poor man talks less.
Under socialism there was no incentive to help the inarticulate because they tend to vote Labour.
When the government clamps down on idealists in state school (paperwork/funds) school starts talking about developing relationships with parents.
So although teachers are in a better position to understand what respect is they only show it to good kids. (more resentment)
How do I know so much about state school.....I volunteered for two years.
You saying it's men's attitude towards women is wrong is not helpful, it just fans the flames.
Read my pamphlets if you want, i could send them to you.

KeepingItRealWithYou Wed 26-Dec-18 04:04:01

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BigMommaGladys Thu 24-Jan-19 09:03:35

its just ur period babes blush wink

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