you know how sometimes there are threads on mumsnet talking about an awful mother someone has seen on the bus or train?
well , i was that mummy today.
i repeatedly told them off, pulled ds2 down constantly as tried to stand on the seats, hissed at them in an angry voice and eventually swiped them both with the newspaper.i feel absolutely at the end of my tether.
i am bored, restless, irritated and completely dissatisfied with my lot. My dh is working away which annoys me, but when he is at home he irritates me. I keep having daydreams about going to live in a flat on my own, and being trendy and having money to spend on myself, and being able to go the loo and shower alone and in peace.
i know deep down that iam lucky. i have a home and 2 lovely healthy children and a husband i love.....but right this second , i feel like walking out of the door and not coming back.
I know how you feel. I hate myself when I've had a day like that.
I felt horrendous the other week when DD was really getting on my nerves (she was tired). We were walking and she was dawdling telling me her legs were tired. I'm pushing DS in pram and ended up grabbing DD's wrist to try and get her to move faster than a snail. I'm fuming, she trips and I haul her arm up before she falls on the floor. I was losing it, and she thanks me for saving her from falling. My heart was I want to hug and kiss you, but I was still fuming with her due to previous antics.
yes, even though I'm part of one of the threads you mean, I've def been there too, several times! You feel absolutely awful afterwards.
It takes a hell of a long time, if ever, to finally accept that this is it, we're mums, we have little time to ourselves, life will never be the same... It is very hard to recharge ourselves if we're on the go day in, day out. So cut yourself some slack and don't feel too bad about it!
If you can arrange some time to yourself, like an evening out, do so, however knackered you feel. A change of scene always helps.
Me too - I just gave dd2 (only 2yo fgs)a swipe on the bum (nappy on, so padded) because she was being very naughty and started kicking her dad. Within 2 mins she fell fast asleep and now I feel like crap.
There was one horrendous day I screamed, swore & stamped my feet at dd then shut myself in my room in floods of tears, about 3 times in the same day! It was the end of a week I had been really ill, i was starting to feel better and dd had been so lovely all week while i convalesced on the sofa, and she obviously sensed i was getting better so was becoming more demanding, at the same time beginning to feel ill herself. But i wasn't well enough to cope properly. Poor thing
feel like if i do the relax with a bath thing i will only brood. really wwhat i need to do is go out in town with some mates and get really drunk and dance my legs down to the knees.
but that ain't gonna happen.
just did a really easy cheat tea for the kids( jar of sauce on pasta and salad) and they cleaned their plates and ds1 said ' that was really tasty mummy thank you". so now feel guilty cos they are sweet and they don't mind if i don't feed them properly cooked meals.
no youre not a bad mummy. today i seriously thought about running away and leaving my daughter. i had a crowd of people watching me outside the supermarket, tears streaming down my face, holding a screaming, wriggling, kicking, hitting 18 month old because i tried to put her in a trolley (and didnt succeed). this went on for 20mins. im ashamed to say that for at least a minute i strongly considered getting her adopted.
the minute i got back i put her to bed and cracked open the wine.
I crave my own space also....I day dream about my single days, living in a shared flat in a beautiful village, doing what I wanted, when I wanted...bliss.
Then I come back to earth with a thump when one of my twins smiles at me or laffs out loud and I think, idiot, why would I give these two up....so I've settled for a weekend away on my own, no friends, no DH, no kids for my 30th birthday next year....am really looking forward to it.