I had a moment yesterday when I really felt like I was doing it... being a mum and wife, not role playing

[WeDontDooDuvets]

then is disapeared again, how can I get it back?

[2cats2many]

Blummin' eck. That's pretty depressing...

Are we all at it? Just pretending I mean.

[WeDontDooDuvets]

I did post in mental health not chat!

yes it is depressing,

[M32song]

I'm really happy for you, Duvets - the fact it happened at all means that you will feel like that again, and for longer. What were you doing when it felt real? Something normal and everyday?

[GetDownYouWillFall]

2cats2many what a thoughtless, unhelpful comment.

WeDontDooDuvets sorry that you are feeling depressed, are you suffering with PND? I had many times when I felt I was "putting on a show" of being a mummy. Doing all the things I thought I "should" be doing but feeling empty inside.

Things WILL get better. My DD is 2.5 now and I'm really enjoying being a mum. When you are in the grip of depression everything is distorted and you can feel like you are just role playing.

Hang in there. Post some more if you feel it would be helpful

[2cats2many]

Ok, ok. I didn;t see it was mental health before I posted. I MADE A MISTAKE

GetDownYouWillFall- I did actually see the WeDontDooDuvets reply and realised that my comment was 'unhelpful' so just left well alone.

It's not really necessary for you to pile in y'know.

[2cats2many]

I meant to add a 'Sorry OP' to that post. I really didn't mean to be insensitive.

[WeDontDooDuvets]

given up and gone it to the fantasy world of red wine and eurovision.

don't worry 2Cats, I am just touchy on a different day your response would have been my thoughts.

[2cats2many]

Thanks and sorry again

[FourArms]

I can't really think of any words of wisdom, but I know exactly where you are coming from. I console myself with the fact that if I roleplay well enough that at least my children aren't suffering as a result.

[WeDontDooDuvets]

that is exactly it Fourarms..

Am doing it every day but not for the right reasons if you know what I mean??

[FourArms]

Not quite sure what you mean by that?

I had PND. I say had because DS2 is now nearly 4. How long can PND go on for? And also because I no longer feel particularly depressed. However, I am still taking ADs, and am very loathe to stop taking them, because although they make my life feel slightly surreal, I'm coping. I'm outwardly a very good mother. And wife actually. Not a screaming, crying wreck who can't get dressed or make breakfast. And because of that I'm going to go on taking them. I'm too worried about what might happen if I stop, and as my DH is away most of the time (submariner), I can't really afford to not be able to cope. I'm going to pick my time to try and stop taking them, and really hope that everything feels much more real when I do.... just waiting for a sunny time when DH is home for a while instead of three weeks!

[WeDontDooDuvets]

I guess I mean that the kids go to school each day, we are alldressed and up and to an outsider all is well, but I am not attached to my actions emotionally.

I get through the day by imagining that CCtv is watching me and judging my parenting