Having to have a project all the time. Is it just me?

[OrmRenewed]

Have posted on here about depression and anxiety before now. I'm on citalopram atm and I seem to be on an even keel. But I have noticed something recently. I need to have a project all the time - something above and beyond work, house and kids - to keep me feeling satisifed and enthused. ATM the big project is moving house but as that seems to be at a standstill, I'm now thinking about getting some more pet rats and maybe a bigger cage. When that is done there will be something else. Holiday planning, decorating, redoing the garden. For the time that they are ongoing they take over my life. But I get very caught up in them emotionally and find if they go badly I get down and feel stranded.

How can I learn to live in the moment instead of letting my head be always somewhere else?

[PiggyMad]

I suffer from anxiety and I'm am very like this as well - always need something to look forward to and to 'plan'. We rent and move house at least yearly, I'm always applying for new part-time jobs (I study full-time) and have acquired 5 guinea-pigs over the past 3 years! I will be keeping an eye on this thread!!

[BeckyBendyLegs]

I'm the same. I've just started back at work after maternity leave and feel soooo much better now I have projects again beyond doing the school run and going to Asda. Plus I'm on the school PTA, I volunteer for a toddler group at the school, I paint whenever I get the chance, the list goes on. I have to be busy all the time. I suffer from anxiety and some degree of PND since DS3 was born in November. This is interesting!!!!

[PiggyMad]

Maybe it's a control thing? I like to feel like I've got lots on and am in control of life I also like the planning more than the actual doing and love the idea of things then panic madly when I have to start them (starting a new part-time job tomorrow and pooing my pants about it and wondering if I will have the courage to walk through the door!)

[BeckyBendyLegs]

With me I think I just need to be busy all the time so it is the doing part I like. I get a buzz from being busy and especially from being too busy! I get so bored if I just sit (and then the danger is that I end up thinking). I'm a total workaholic (I work freelance and always take on more than I should). But I also love being involved in projects at my son's school. My anxiety is actually better now I'm working again, it was awful, awful, awful while on maternity leave.

Good luck with the job

[OrmRenewed]

" also like the planning more than the actual doing "

Yep. I am not good at doing nothing. I find it hard to sit and do evening stuff like watching TV. Have to be doing a crossword or mending something at the same time. DH has 'doing nothing' down to a fine art

[BeckyBendyLegs]

My DH gets irritated at me because I have to read a magazine while watching TV and he says 'you're missing it' and I think 'no I'm not!'. I can't just watch TV.

[dontrunwithscissors]

I'm also a planner - I wish I could find a way to 'live in the moment.' It's particularly bad at the moment (on maternity leave with DD2 and suffering grinding PND.) I'm desparate to get back to work to give me some order/busyness to my life.

[BeckyBendyLegs]

That was what I was like. I broke down in tears to the health visitor when DS3 was only two months old and told her 'I miss work!' She thought I was bonkers. She told me to enjoy my time off work. I didn't feel better at all until I started working again. That's so sad, isn't it? So of course I feel terribly guilty for that. Sigh. PND is horrible.

[ChairmumMiaowGoingItAlone]

I've been like that too. I go through lots of things, mostly planning or thinking. I get obsessed by a particular subject and never have the motivation to see anything through. I give up when people around me don't show the interest I expect or when things don't go as planned.

I only recognised it recently and have managed to have some positive focus on getting ready for my baby and dealing with day to day life as a single person (lots of changes recently).

Once life settles down and I start being able to contemplate the future I'm really going to need to know the answer to this too...

[LittleMarshmallow]

I am like this too, but I have more than one project on the go around 5 or 6. I can't sit still and am always doing something regardless of how I feel.

[Watersign76]

I am like this too. I think some of it has to do with the fact I feel I "ought to be" doing something. Being organised and doing stuff is when I am at my happiest.

I threw myself into voluntary work when on mat leave, as I couldn't bear the thought of just "sitting about". It did help. On returning to work, I was miserable doing 3 days at work, feel better now I am doing 4.

I am currently dipping in and out of a self help book which talks about focusing on your strengths. It basically says society has it wrong, instead of encouraging us all to "mend" what we aren't good at, it says just work on/do more of what you are good at. It is mainly focused on work skills, but I guess it could apply to life outside work.

If we were looking at 'our' skills (organised, multitasking, solutions focused, productive) in an office/work type senario we'd be praised

I am just trying to accept that I need to be busy, and that actually that is no better or worse than somebody that wants to sit around.

All easier said that done. I feel there is pressure on us to "relax"....