Worried Im regressing

[sunchild77]

I finished CBT in january, stopped all my meds in march (was on Effexor150g for about 18 months) Was feeling fine mostly, not tearful or bothered by negative thinking. Started Open Uni.

I was given a clean bill of health from the Dr last month and was given the green light to ttc #3. Was happy, all felt good. Started ttc with a vengence.

Now Im feeling rubbish. Waiting on period starting. I know Im Not pg this month (tested a ridiculous number of times)
Feel SO premenstrual, down down down. Obviously v disappointed at not being pg. But tired, grumpy, fed up with everybody and everything. Negativity is spiralling out of control, I am really trying not to start hating myself, actually saying "!NO STOP IT" But I dont think its working. Im useless.

I dont know if Im going backwards or just a bit down. SO much on my plate, 2 small kids and everyone thinks Im fine (cos I do a great show)

urrrrggh

[whispywhisp]

Bumping this for you in the hope someone will see it and reply....I can't help I'm sorry but it was sad reading what you'd put on this thread....hope you're ok. xx

[willsurvivethis]

It is hard when you think you're doing so well and then you feel you are sliding and there is nothing you can do about it. I get it a lot (slowly healing from PTSD is three steps forward, two steps back most of the time so the steps back feel big IYSWIM).

I don't think though that TTC with a vengeance would help things, you create such hefty emotions. I really want to conceive and DH and I simply don't use anti-conception and see what happens. is that an option for you? You may be putting too much pressure on yourself. Is conceiving a few months later a real problem?

For now try not to panic and think it is all going wrong again. See how you feel once your period has started. And remember there is no shame in needing support again. You wouldn't beat yourself up if after sometime without backpain your back started playing up again.

And eh....shouting at yourself for being unable to stop hating yourself is kind of counter productive .

[sunchild77]

Willsurvive - Thanks. Problem is I am so impatient with everything in my life. We are "supposed" to be ttc without stress etc ie doing what you suggested, but I can't help get all over excited and worked up about it. OHHHH this month I have been doing OPK and everything. GUNG HO thats me.
Bloody should be pg the amount of sex we had!

I think Im just feeling a bit sorry for myself. Need to pull myself up and say what the hell.

I want to ttc#3! some days I think Im doo - lally, other days I cant see past another babe.

I need a drink and some chocolate. That will sort me out.

Sound ok dont I?

[whispywhisp]

I don't know if this'll help but here goes anyway.

DH and I tried for a baby for about 3yrs. Nothing. Desperately wanted children so went and had some tests. Nothing wrong with DH but the tests told me I wasn't ovulating and probably never have. Therefore told unlikely we could have children unless we went down the IVF/donor route. Couldn't afford it so basically gave up and whilst we both wanted to be parents felt if it isn't to be, it isn't to be.

A few months later of 'giving up' and just having sex for the sheer fun/enjoyment of it, rather than trying for a baby, I fell pregnant. A complete and utter shock. DD1 was born.

A few years later we tried again. Nothing. So again gave up. We were happy to have DD1 so even moved house planning on having just the one child and buying a house that, tbh, is too small for any more children.

Then DD2 came along. I can remember that when I fell pregnant with her I only had sex twice in that cycle. Both times were NOT for ttc.

I do strongly and firmly believe that if you try to conceive chances are it'll never happen. Sometimes if you try too hard and mentally desperately want another child not only does it take the pleasure/enjoyment out of sex but it also, I think, lowers your chances of falling pregnant because your stress levels are that much higher.

I would suggest you stop trying. Have sex when you feel like it rather than just for a baby. Enjoy it, relax and have fun. Forget about babies and you never know it may happen.