Am I depressed? If so, what should I do about it?

[Cathy000]

I feel really unlike myself. I'm normally a happy, chilled out person but in the last few days I've been feeling increasingly out of control. My son is almost six months old now and I love him to pieces. My sadness doesn't seem to be connected to him at all - he (and my hubby) are the only sunshine in my life at the moment.

I am aware that I've had a trying few months. When I run through the list it sounds quite a lot even to my own ears - an emergency c section birth after placental abruption, mastitis, misdiagnosed rectal tear which was a result of the birth meaning I suffered with pain and bleeding for six months, a car accident, and a house fire which meant we had to move into a one bed flat for a while. Oh, and I'm having an op to fix the rectal tear tomorrow under a general and my hubby (who is in the army) is going away a week on Monday for seven weeks.

I went to a wedding on Saturday and when I got there realised that we had been invited to the evening, but everyone else we are friends with had been invited during the day. I'm mystified why but it really upset me. Since then I've had a big row with my mother (I think my fault as I reacted strongly to what was a mild comment and caused an argument and bad feeling) and now I feel like a dark fog has descended. I keep trying to chivvy myself up, and even manage it sometimes, but then the fog descends and I feel like everything is hopeless. I'm tearful a lot of the time and feel so sorry for my poor darling hubby who keeps being greeted by a tearful wife when he gets home. I feel like I'm failing him.

I'm worried I've got postnatal depression but I don't think I'm doing a bad job with my son and don't feel sad around him so wonder if I've got some other form of depression. Or maybe I've just had a lot to cope with and I'm just reacting to that and I haven't got depression at all.



Does anyone else feel like this? What should I do?

[willsurvivethis]

You have certainly had to deal with any number of issues that on their own could have made you feel this way.

But that doesn't rule out depression and PND doesn't always mean that you either feel or are a bad mummy. Go see your GP or HV if you like her and ask them to do a questionaire with you to see where you are.

How is sleep?

[Sazisi]

You've really been throught the mill, you poor love.

You should talk to your gp.

Have you felt extra shit just the last few days? Or have you felt like you've lost your sense of humour etc, for a long time?

[scurryfunge]

You sound like you are having a tough time at the moment. If you don't have a great network of support and things are getting a bit much, speak to your GP. Do you have any release from the day to day stuff,like sport or another way of socialising? Sometimes it's good just to focus your attention on something different for a change.

[Nevergoogle]

sounds like depression

irritability
tearfulness
feeling low

and no bloody wonder by the sounds of it.
it might be a postnatal thing, it might just be a reaction to all the crap stuff going on at the moment. it doesn't really matter as it's still depression.

what should you do?

discuss it with your GP
eat well
get exercise
confide in friends/partner
relax, be good to yourself
don't feel guilty

of course all of this is not easy to do once depression has got it's grip on you and that's where medication can help. it can lift your mood enough to make those other things feel doable.

does anyone else feel like this?
yes, loads of people.

[Cathy000]

Thanks for responding guys - makes me feel a little better to hear some voices in the darkness.

Sleep? Well, I'm awake now and wouldn't normally be. Looking back in the last few weeks I've had a few nights when I've not been able to sleep and given up in the end, staying downstairs until the early hours by which time I'm so exhausted I then fall asleep.

My hubby is taking me away for the week next week and I'm looking forward to it but I'm very aware that as soon as we get back he's going away and I'm going to be left on my own with everything. It's rather taking the shine of the holiday a bit at the moment. The house isn't fixed from the fire - I have no lights in my bathroom and am going to have to deal with builders coming in to sort it out and let's face it, making lots of mess.

My hubby is my support and I think it's all worse at the moment as he's got to leave. I have a good relationship with my parents but although I know they would be supportive I feel like I want to push them away at the moment as my relationship with them feels like something else which causes me stress and pressurises me. That makes no sense as I'm almost intentionally isolating myself! I am trying not to let me hubby know how much I don't want him to go as he has to go and me crying all over him is only going to make him feel worse and me probably too.

I think I'm going to have to suck it up to get through my op tomorrow, try to have a lovely holiday and then do something about how I'm feeling when I get back and hubby has gone. It's dreadful timing but I've run out of time and can't there's anything else I can do. I guess I'll call my HV when I get back. I'm worried she'll think I can't cope with looking after my son though...I don't want anyone to take him away from me.

[Nevergoogle]

no, they won't take him away from you for feeling depressed.

[Sazisi]

Can you organise some nice things for you do to while your hubby's away? Lunch out with friends and relatives, have a friend over for dvds and pizza, maybe leave a spare key with the builder and go and stay with a relative for a couple of days?

Try to stick to a routine with your meals and sleep. Rescue Remedy Sleep helps me (it seems to be more effective dropped directly onto the tongue)