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Can anyone recommend a counsellor in London for low self esteem? Fed up with feeling like this...

(31 Posts)
BecauseImALondoner Tue 13-Apr-10 14:57:21

I've also posted this in 'Other Subjects' but no replies yet.

I’ve have had feelings of low self worth all my life, and I think now I’ve reached the grand old age of 38 it’s time to finally do something about it. I’m utterly sick of being like this. I am finding that having small children is increasingly bringing me into contact with new people and new situations, and it’s just making things worse. The interaction with my NCT group alone has made me feel the lowest I’ve done for years. I’m convinced they all think I’m worthless, boring and stupid and they all dislike me. I am always so worried about how I'm coming across that I seem incapable of behaving naturally, which just makes things worse.

Soon my eldest will be starting pre-school and then school, and I am dreading the whole ‘school gates’ politics thing - and all the new opportunities for social anxiety. Can anyone help? I really want to speak to someone and get over this. Lately I can’t even look at my own face in the mirror without hating it. Which is so sad

parachutes Tue 13-Apr-10 15:02:18

Hi, have you thought about trying Cognitive-behavioural Therapy (CBT)? My friend runs a practice (no, I'm not pushing that) but I have heard very good things about this as a form of therapy. There are lots of local practices so you should be able to find someone close to you.

Here's a link to some basic info on it but hopefully someone with more experience will be along to chat with you.

Hope you get some help with it.

SawneyBeane Tue 13-Apr-10 15:08:53

I personally can recommend a woman called Ania Dyczkowska in North London. Her number is 0208 877 0629.
She's a psychosynthesist.

BecauseImALondoner Wed 14-Apr-10 10:50:16

Thank you parachutes and Sawney. I'm going to look into CBT parachutes, and I'll be following up that contact Sawney. Am feeling encouraged from your responses to do something about it!

parachutes Wed 14-Apr-10 11:09:19

That's great, I hope it works out smile

zonedout Wed 14-Apr-10 21:23:48

goodness, are you me? am probably a year or 2 further along with the dc's than you (ds1 starts reception this september) but i have all of those awful feelings...

whereabouts in london are you? i actually do know of a couple of fantastic therapists, depending on the area you live in.

Nemofish Wed 14-Apr-10 21:55:03

BACP website lets you search for a counsellor in your area.

Like zonedout I have to ask, are you me?!!

I have had several months with a really good counsellor, I was brought up to believe that I really and truly was utterly worthless, and now I am very, very happy to be me. It was hard work but totally worth it, and you are too.

Jeez that sounded like an advert smile

deaddei Wed 14-Apr-10 21:57:40

I'm starting CBT/hypnotherapy next week....I always felt like op, though none of my friends would ever guess. I am very self critical, and have decided to do something about it.
I'm in SW London btw.

BecauseImALondoner Thu 15-Apr-10 10:53:37

I am truly sorry to hear that my feelings are shared by so many others though at the same time it’s good to know that I’m not quite the freak I think I am. I think we all deserve a very unmumsnetty group hug! Zonedout (love the nickname) I am in west London but will go anywhere for a fantastic therapist. Would love to get some recommendations. Are you happy to post on here or would you rather send me a message? I really hope they were able to help you. You sound nice. Nemofish I am so happy that you were able to get some help, and that it has worked so well for you. That gives me a lot of hope that I, too, can be happy in my own skin. You sound very far from worthless! Deaddei how exciting that you’re starting with therapy. I hope it goes really well. Perhaps we can compare notes! Thanks again lovely ladies. I’m feeling more hopeful already.

zonedout Thu 15-Apr-10 21:56:06

thanks for the compliments blush blush blush

i would prefer not to post names and numbers on here... would be happy to email you if you are happy to put your email here. otherwise, we could set up cat...

bruffin Thu 15-Apr-10 23:04:41

There is a lady called Ina Dunn in Broxbourne (just off M25) who is excellent. She does NHS as well as private and has helped a few people I know. They all speak very highly of her.

BecauseImALondoner Fri 16-Apr-10 09:41:59

Thanks for that bruffin! Zonedout I'll see what I have to do to set up CAT.

BecauseImALondoner Fri 16-Apr-10 10:23:42

Zonedout I've now changed my status to receive CATs, so I'd be very grateful if you could send me those details. Thanks once again!

zonedout Fri 16-Apr-10 14:29:36

ok, have sent you a cat smile
my first time so hope it works...

Manda25 Sat 17-Apr-10 10:05:24

where abouts in London are you - i know someone good in Barnet - N London

BecauseImALondoner Mon 19-Apr-10 10:05:35

Sorry Manda, been absent for a couple of days. I am in West London

deaddei Wed 21-Apr-10 14:27:50

I had my first counselling session yesterday- and it was wonderful.
I hardly stopped talking- all this stuff came out, and as I was saying it I was thinking "that's where I get it from/feel like this".
It was very cathartic, and am going back in 2 weeks.
But I feel so positive today, feel I am really close to getting rid of my baggage and be a happier person.

BecauseImALondoner Fri 23-Apr-10 10:21:40

That's amazine deaddei. I take a lot of encouragement from this and hope my first counselling session will be similar. Zonedout has been a great help sending me some great counsellor suggestions and I'm going to get on the case as soon as I've stopped breastfeeding. So glad I posted on here!

mell79 Sun 25-Apr-10 09:02:19

OMG, you are just talking exactly word for word my situation which I was going to post a topic on...

I have been referred for CBT fingers x'd i'm hoping this works otherwise its hopeless!!

Sorry I can't recommend anyone to you but good luck and I hope you find a way forward

BecauseImALondoner Tue 27-Apr-10 09:50:46

Thanks Mell79. It's just so sad that so many of us feel like this. Great news that you're being referred for CBT and I hope it really works for you. Keep me posted!

bitbybitbybit Fri 10-Apr-15 18:21:43

Hi all...this thread has definitely been inactive for a long time but the feelings described on here are exactly how I've been feeling for years. Same pressure in my NCT group etc. It has been eroding my relatuonship with my partner from pretty much the start. We have a son and are expecting our second child. I woukd love to know whether some of you ended up having therapy at all and if you can recommend anybody in and around North London?
Hope somebody gets to read this Xx

bitbybitbybit Wed 15-Apr-15 23:40:40

blush Anyone? xxx

bitbybitbybit Sun 19-Apr-15 15:07:14

Desperately trying to revive this thread grin One recommendation just one! lol

Enjoyingtheattention Mon 20-Apr-15 22:55:16

Ask your GP to refer you to your local IAPT service (Improved Access to Psychological Therapies). They are a primary health NHS counselling service, with fully qualified CBT therapists and psychologists. The IAPT service is national.

bitbybitbybit Mon 20-Apr-15 23:01:31

I was referred twice since last February and nobody ever got back to me at all...so I've decided to go private. But thanks anyways smile

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