Don't want those shutters anymore...

[willsurvivethis]

I've been having treatment for PTSD, have come to terms with a lot of things, learned a lot about myself and let go of a lot of protection mechanisms. One thing my therapist kept saying was 'you have the ability to pull metal shutters down on your feelings and emotions, at will'.

But at the end of February I went back to my home country to talk to the police about reporting my abuser and it went so very different from anything I had considered previously and it was traumatic. Guess the response was predictable and yet I wasn't even aware of it (bad timing for a change of therapist as well)

Monday a close friend who knows everything and has been on this year long journey with me said 'your shutters are down again, don't do that, please'.

Thanks if you are still reading. Probably no answer to this other than to plod on.

I mentioned this to another close friend and she said 'he's right, I've noticed it too' and that was only over facebook as we live in different countries.

So this has made me think a lot, and another chat with one of them earlier today made me cry tonight. I don't want these blooming shutters. I want to know, feel, cry, talk.

How?? How do I get rid of the shutters?

[adelicatequestion]

I think its:

time......practice......time......practice

You are doing a wonderful job. Keep going. you will get there.

ADQ

[doozle]

Perhaps you need them though, as a defence mechanism, from time to time?

[10greenbottles]

you are right adelicatequestion, but its probabably time, time and more time.
Try not to think too far ahead.
Take care