If i go to toddler group other mums just seems to know what to do/say better than me. They know how to handle tantrums better than me and how to make friends better than me.
Yes, i have low self esteem but i make myself go to these group because i feel dd will benefit from it. I try to make new friends from these groups but other women just don't seem to like me or seem able to relate to me or me relate to them.
I've just started a new job and in an office full of women. We are all the same age but i feel like a teenage girl amongst them. They all seem so self assured and confident and i'm like a blithering idiot.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself - other women just dont seem to like me. Dont get me wrong, i'm not blonde, beautiful and intelligent and so i know its not jealously or anything. I feel so dowdy, unconfident and generally nervous amongst other women.
I feel the same mandymoo,
I have always found men easier to get on with than other women, im not very confident and i am very nervous around other women apart from a few that i have known for a long time. I find it hard to talk to other mums as i think they are all beter than me.
Oh are they f* mandymoo!
Bless you,everyone feels a bit like this sometimes (including those who probably seem more confident than you.)
Do you know the poem (Stevie Smith)called 'Not waving but drowning'.
We're all drowning,just some more cheerfully than others.
Chin up girl, you're doing better than me if you're managing a toddler and a new job.
You need to find some nice mammies to be around who will cheer you up and give you confidence in yourself. To be honest I found most play groups to be filled with miserable fat moody clicky mums, I could not believe how unfriendly they were, I am a confident person but I cam away feeling self consious and miserable. Have to say i tried a few more until a found a couple of good ones.
Where do you live? You could come meet me and my friends, we all perk each other up when down and we can all be rubbish at tantrum controlling and speak rubbish most of the time but so what?
Other people are joyful
As if enjoying a banquet
As if climbing up to a terrace in spring.
I alone am inactive and uninvolved
Like an infant still unable to smile
Unattached like one with no place to go.
Other people are affluent.
I alone have nothing.
I am foolish and confused.
Ordinary people are bright.
I am dull.
Ordinary people are clever and self-assured.
I am dismal and subdued.
I am formless like the ocean.
I am shapeless and unbounded.
Other people pursue a goal.
I alone am mullish and awkward.
My desires differ from other people's.
I am sustained by the mother.
('the mother' is a standard euphemism for the Tao or 'creative force' or whatever you like to call it.)
gosh mandy, can only say that you dont come across as at all inadequate from your mumsnet postings.
must say, I also find it v difficult to make friends. I thought I was better than when I was young, but it was only because I was married, so didnt have to go out into social situations. Im late thirties & divorced now, and STILL end up in crowds, as apparently the only person with no-one to talk to!
As for the other mums handling tantrums, well if you see a particularly good method, copy it! Then, next time, someone'll be envying you!