Oh god i was ahving a good day untill FIL rang up now im really low
As you know FIL offerd DP a job - it was a chance for a new life and to sort out our money so we could have a decent life - he said all DP had to do was say yes to teh job and the company would relocate us and find a flat ect, the he said that they couldnt relocate but he would help us out witha place to live and pay the deposit if we could pay the rent.
Well now hes rung up and said if he wants the job its up to us to find aplace and put down the deposit and basicly he was having nothing to do with it - FIL is a very untrustworthy as he has let us down several times before, but this takes the biscuit - he is a very wealthy man and he knows the trouble we are having on our incomings and we have treid EVERYTHING abd theres noting we can do about it so this job ment everyting to us and FIL bloody knew it and now hes done his usual and i can guaruntee we wont here from him for months and months.
So now were back to square one so DP@s in a bad mood, and the microwave has broken, after the rents been payed next week we will have very little money untill first week of August....... im am feeling like crap i feel as if im stuck in a crappy lifestyle that however hard i try i cant get out of, i grew up with nothing and i dont want DS to have to do the same but whatever i try fails.........
That all sounds like poo. I know the feeling of never being able to get out of it, and always being hit back down when it looks like you've got a chance.
I have noticed though, that something always seems to turn up when you least expect it. You have a rough few months where it feels like you won't make it, and then suddenly there is a lift.
Its horrible living from day to day hoping for that lift (and knowing that you'll probably be knocked again), but try and look for it.
As for your DS growing up with nothing... he doesn't have nothing, he has you. I grew up with secondhand clothes, and none of the posh fancy toys etc that the other kids had. We had sausage and mash etc for tea cos it was cheap, but we were happy. We had eachother, and my mum did cheap activities with us, and now that I have DD, it is those things that I want for her as well, rather than the other things that I didn't have.
Yes it does but i just feel like crap i know that when he comrs to me when hes older and wants a new bike ect i wont beable to give it to him you know what i mean - it just seem thst everybody lets me down and everyone arround me's life is fab i just can see anyway out.
LOL - its ok DP is here but hes no good with crying women so hes ignorong me - god i feel so crap that im behaving like this if front of DS - hes done nothing wrong its just flippin money you cant seem to do alot without it and its proving difficult to get it.
Its days like that when Boy normally has the bright idea of suggesting selling random things like the tv, and I have to explain that that will only help in the short term, and make us miserable cos we'll have no tv!
How about disappearing for a bubble bath with a book? You can have a bloody good cry in there with no-one watching.