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Low self esteem or maybe Iam just really rubbish.

(13 Posts)
needtochat Mon 11-Jul-05 09:44:27

Feeling a bit sorry for myself, fed up with being shy and not pushing myself forward. Really wanted to dance on Saturday, but spent most of my time, sitting like a wallflower.
I feel everyone is going out of their way to avoid me, talking about me and generally nobody likes me. I hide behind my children as I feel stronger when I'm standing up for them.
I know this is unreasonable behaivour, but can't talk to anyone and haven't got a clue what to do about it.

nutcracker Mon 11-Jul-05 09:46:38

Hi, you sound alot like me.

Do you get out to do anything on your own at all ???

I think that would help in building up your self esteem.

Oh and your certainly not rubbish.

colditz Mon 11-Jul-05 09:47:46

Look at other people.

Are they perfect? No, but you will always notice the ones that are smiling and having fun.

WigWamBam Mon 11-Jul-05 09:49:40

Actually, you sound a lot like me, too. I think there are more people out there than you would realise who have issues with self-confidence and self-esteem.

No-one is "rubbish", and no-one deserves to think that they are. I wonder if something like an assertiveness course would help, or even any kind of evening course, if you could get to one - just to expose you to other people in a situation where everyone is in the same boat.

nutcracker Mon 11-Jul-05 09:50:57

An evening course of some sort would be great for you i think.

What sort of things are you intersted in ?

KiwiKate Mon 11-Jul-05 10:00:27

You to be special and unique! Of course you are not rubbish.

For example, your kids probably think you are a great mum who looks out for them and stands up for them.

You might want to consider going on an Alpha course. It is a Christian based course where you can ask all the questions you want about Christianity (all the things that you wouldn't dare ask a preacher!). It has a lot of humour in it, is heaps of fun and is very low key - with no pressure to become a Christian (if you aren't one) - but is interesting and informative. You can go whether or not you are a Christian. It runs once a week over several weeks. Most churches (of all denominations) run these. Many have day time or evening options, and many also include a meal where you can just chat and meet people in a relaxed atmosphere. I've been to a few of these and found the people very relaxed and interesting to talk to and I've built up some good friendships there.

Otherwise, try joining a mother's group. You'll be surprised at how many feel like you do.

good luck

needtochat Mon 11-Jul-05 10:02:07

I've got plenty of interests, but I think maybe the time for myself bit is probably right, I'm always running around being busy, for children, dh or other people.It's only times like saturday night that I get time to feel upset.

peaceandlight Mon 11-Jul-05 10:05:35

you sound the same as me. For the last 2 years i have been promising myself that i would get on a course, unfortunatly i went to college to enrol and found the woman there very intimidating, and left without enrolling and feeling like everyone but me knew what they were doing!
Last week i went to a different place with a friend and got myself on a childcare course for september. I will have to have a placement in a nursery too. I am nervous about it.
But, what i have realised is, the anticipation of doing something i.e dancing, talking to people or whatever is the worst part and if you can force yourself into it you'll find your o.k and won't be apprehensive next time.

KiwiKate Mon 11-Jul-05 13:41:01

You can't really look after others long-term if you don't look after yourself.

The best gift you can give your family is a mum/wife who is happy, healthy and balanced. So some self-time should be a priority if you can manage it at all.

Lizzylou Mon 11-Jul-05 13:44:43

This sounds horribly familiar......
As I've got older I've got more and more paranoid and worried about what others think...I have made a conscious effort over the past few months to "put myself out there", challenge myself and meet new people, instead of worrying over what I have said/done what I look like I haven't had time and have made new friends and boosted my self-esteem...
I bet you are a much-loved and respected person who just needs to make some time for themselves and regain a sense of yourself.....

Iklboo Mon 11-Jul-05 13:45:53

My Exp totally destroyed my self confidence over the years. When he left I felt like crap. I joined my local amateur dramatic group. You DON'T need to act - they always need back stage people and people to help out behind the scenes.
It's great way of meeting people. I made a lot of new friends and I met DH there. We're now expecting junior in November and I've never been happier.
You are NOT rubbish!

NomDePlume Mon 11-Jul-05 13:47:38

Ilkboo, that's a lovely story

Iklboo Mon 11-Jul-05 13:49:49

Thanks NDP. I can't believe how lucky I am at times.

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