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Just so fed up with it all - my life right now!

(23 Posts)
sweetkitty Thu 07-Jul-05 19:16:16

Dunno where to put this thread so put it in feeling depressed, think I feel like a moan and a rant.

Quick review - put our flat on the market nearly a year ago got a buyer in January so in March we put in an offer on a house in Scotland (where we are locating to) buyer went awol and basically pulled out the deal. But we still have to go through with the purchase of the house in Scotland so each day we do not buy it we are penalised financially. Then DP gets a job in Edinburgh and moves up there to start work leaving DD and I in London on our own for a month, in this month I find out I'm pregnant with no (delighted) anyway my Dad offers us his flat in Scotland (but miles from DPs work) so we can be together so 6 weeks ago we all move up here.

Meanwhile we accepted an offer on the flat in desperation, it was well below the market value but given the fact there are 15 other flats for sale on our street alone we needed to move quick. The guy buying is an investor and EA assured us it would be a quick transaction. Needless to save 7 weeks on our solicitor is still waiting on his solicitor to get moving with things. I phone EA every few days to try and get them to hurry buyer along (he works for them) but it's taking ages.

Main thing is DP, DD and I (as well as 3 cats) are stuck in basically 2 rooms that are full of boxes. I've been feeling rotten with the pregnancy and have not been eating properly, neither I feel has DP or DD. The kitchen is the width of the washing machine, has a cat litter box in it and because of this I don't want to cook in it, I'm giving DD things like toast and cheese for dinner rather than cook from scratch, DP is living on ready meals and I'm living on cereal and toast. My Dad is also a heavy smoker and I have cleaned the place from top to bottom and it still stinks. I know that sounds really ungrateful.

DP is also spending 3 hours a day each way travelling as you can imagine this is taking it's toll on him, his trains have been delayed tonight and I know he will come in in a foul mood and theres nothing I can do to help.

Sorry for the novel but I feel so low right now I don't know how much more of this I can take every time we think of a way out it doesn't happen. We need to sell the flat to release the money for the new place.

sweetkitty Tue 19-Jul-05 14:11:44

Nothing else has moved on since I wrote this still in limbo land. EA is completely useless I've taken to phoning them every day.

It's DD first birthday tomorrow and I know I should be happy planning it but we cannot even have a little tea party as it's too small in here. We have to limit the presents she is getting as well. She's still sleeping in her travel cot in the one bedroom, the poor wee thing has never had a room or even a chest of drawers of her own. Sorry I know these problems seem trivial compared to some on here but they are really getting to me.

vicdubya Tue 19-Jul-05 14:28:19

Sorry to hear about your situation sweetkitty . What's holding this guy up, do you know?

Can you not give him an ultimatum that you will put house back on market / go multi agency etc. Or do you think this guy will really pull through?

We have been in the middle of a selling / renting / buying scenario for over a year..during which dh and I both got made redundant. I will be relieved to get settled (hopefully next month).

It WILL happen, you just have to hang in there.

I spent DS 1st birthday on our own (just me & him) as Dh is working away (where we are about to move to) and couldn't get home, we did manage to celebrate it at the weekend and of course he was none the wiser.

Hope you can think of something nice to do, what about a family day out at the weekend with a picnic in a nice park or country house / gardens?

Happy Birthday to your dd and hope things get sorted for you soon.

sweetkitty Fri 22-Jul-05 15:07:27

thanks vic

been calling the EA all week and she left a message saying all is well and the solicitor is just waiting on the deposit then he will contact our solicitor, still seems liek she is fobbing me off, our buyer works for the EA firm and I think she is stalling us for him or something.

littlerach Fri 22-Jul-05 16:15:59

Oh, sweetkitty, how horrid for you.
How was her birthday in the end?
Can you believe that they are this old already?

Have you spoken to your solicitor? Our house sale was dragging last year and I ended up spending the first week of mat leave almost camped in the solicitor's office, so that I could actually see and hear that he was doing his job!! Needless to say, the sale went through very quickly and he did remark that hopefully he wouldn't need to hear from me again!!!
Really, I think EA are not worth bothering with unless absolutely necessary (apologies to anyone I have offended there).
Hope you have a good weekend.

sweetkitty Tue 26-Jul-05 20:41:47

Her birthday was great although now she has so many toys and no room for them

No news this week have phoned EA and she said the same things as 3 weeks ago searches are done, mortgage offer is out, it's actually in the hands of the buyers solicitors who have not yet contacted our solicitors (I e-mail the solicitor twice weekly).

What makes the whole thing worse is the buyer actually works for the development part of the estate agency so works in the same office as the EA!!!!

Will phone again tomorrow very down about it now as it's coming up on 10 weeks and I'm sure my Dad wants his flat back soon.

sweetkitty Thu 28-Jul-05 19:29:04

Latest thing is that EA spoke to buyers solicitor and they have received nothing from our solicitor which I know is a load of rubbish as they sent the draft contracts on 10th June. I think EA is stalling us as the buyer does not have the deposit yet or something like that.

I am totally at my wits end now why is this happening to us again to be messed around by one buyer is bad enough but two???

DP wants me to phone EA and tell her to put the flat back on the market tomorrow but that means moe delay as people view it, make offers, get a survey done etc.

Meanwhile we are paying money in interest for not completing on Scotland!

motherpeculiar Thu 28-Jul-05 20:02:15

I would do as your dh suggests and phone tomorrow and tell EA to get flat back on market. if nothing else it will act as a catalyst to get buyer moving if indeed they are stalling. you can always do this just to gauge whether you feel buyer is really serious or not. otherwise threathen to put it on with another agency, that should focus EA's mind a bit, whether buyer works for them or not

I feel for you. it is soooo horrible trying to buy and sell property. hope it works out.

sweetkitty Fri 29-Jul-05 11:03:29

Have just spoken to my solicitor and he has confirmed that the EA has blatantly lied to me saying the buyers solicitor hadn't received the necessary paperwork when in fact my solicitor has written evidence they have done.

I have phoned EA who is not returning my calls (theres a surprise) I will be putting it back on the market with a few agents as well.

But this means even more time until we are in a position to buy the one in Scotland therefore more penalities. So in fact we are paying, mortgage on flat, secured loan on flat, rent on my Dads flat, DP's huge travelling bill each month, in effect a mortgage on the house we have agreed to buy and a daily penalty for not buying it. This is on one income so as you can imagine we cannot afford this so we are losing money each month. More and more is going on the credit cards, don't know how we are going to pay it all back.

This is ruining our lives right now and if it continues much longer we will be facing bankrupcy!!!

Chuffed Fri 29-Jul-05 12:50:26

sweetkitty if you are already paying the mortage on the new place would it be cheaper to move into it? Could you rent out your flat in the short-term (I know a little risky) to get some money coming in to cover that mortgage - there are always people who want to rent for a short time and they might not mind an occasional real estate agent if they are paying a bit less rent?
I can't imagine how stressful this is for you [[[hugs]]]

sweetkitty Fri 29-Jul-05 13:01:10

we can't afford to move into it right now as we need the equity from the flat to pay the deposit.

Chuffed Fri 29-Jul-05 13:12:03

What about a brigding loan to loan the deposit in the short term the repayments might not be more than the rent you're paying and at least you'll be more comfortable.

sweetkitty Fri 29-Jul-05 13:52:17

chuffed you read my mind we always thought a bridging loan might not work but DP and I have just been discussing it and we are going to try and sort it out this weekend!

Have also rang other estate agents and told them to put it on the market, he says at the price we want he can sell it in a week (I know don't believe a word they say) but hey even if it's 2 or 3 it will be worth it.

Chuffed Fri 29-Jul-05 14:03:59

It must be so frustrating, at least for the same amount of money going out if you are in your own place and you are happy, can eat well etc you will feel so much better and your dh won't have to travel as far either will he?
Hope it works out!

emmatom Fri 29-Jul-05 14:16:15

Hang on in there my friend. In a years time or so this horrible time will be something you can look back on.

Nearly 20 years ago I was in a similar position (but without the kids which is such a big strain on everything else). It was the time of the 15% mortgage rates as well and there seemed to be no way out of the predicament.

Despite everything I knew that the situation wouldn't go on forever. I did all I physically could to help the situation and with a big dollop of fate and plenty of patience I came out the other side.

Sitting in my country cottage with financial security now, I look back at the time and although it was very depressing, the good thing about it is it has made me appreciate what I have now.

You will not be in this situation forever. Things will work out. It sounds like you are doing all you can. God luck.

sweetkitty Fri 29-Jul-05 14:30:05

thanks means a lot, I do know it won't be forever as soon as I can I will go back to work if I find the right job I can make a fair bit of money to help out. I think thats one of the thigns that is also getting to me, I'm a very independent person and like to earn my own way, I know I'm doing the housekeeper/childminder role right now and it is very important but part of me feels a bit helpless.

If this situation was our own doing I would say fine but it's because we have put our faith in other people!

sweetkitty Fri 29-Jul-05 17:22:53

Bitch cow of an estate agent hasn't rang me back yet!!

That's awful isn't it she'll have to speak to me at one point better to get it over and done with, she now knows that I know she has lied to me. Hope flat sells this weekend and the sale is whipped from under her nose. Can't believe she can treat customers like this after all we are paying her a tonne of money.

sweetkitty Tue 02-Aug-05 12:51:11

Update: Phoned EA yesterday morning and she said buyer spoke to his solicitor on Saturday and they do have all the necessary paperwork!!! So either his solicitor was lying or he/EA were. Anyway they want to exchange this week (do I believe them - no) the EA was very concerned I had put the flat on the market with another EA as well. Also spoke to my solicitor who said his solicitor had been in touch and promised to deal with the paperwork asap. We shall see.

We are now trying to raise the deposit on the Scottish house as interest is now standing at over 3K hope hope hope we can get a bank loan.

Chuffed Tue 02-Aug-05 16:10:27

SK it really does sound like things are moving along now which must be such a relief.

sweetkitty Fri 05-Aug-05 16:40:19

oh things are starting to look up looks like the sale of the flat is proceeding eventually, DP has got a loan for the deposit on the new place. And we are going to have a look at it tomorrow as we haven't seen it since March (probably horrible now and we won't like it anymore) if all goes to plan we could be moving in 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!1

littlerach Fri 05-Aug-05 16:45:33


So now all you have to do is pack, pack, pack!!
And sort all the other stuff out.

Can you complain in writing about the EA? To the governing body or someone who regulates them? At the least to the HO.

Let us knw how the new house is.

sweetkitty Fri 12-Aug-05 11:11:47

well another kick in the teeth, even though the bank approved the loan over the phone and in a letter, the underwriters have said NO so we can't get the laon to pay the deposit and move in so we are stuck here again.

Desperately trying to find out what is going on with the sale of our flat now as think thats the only way we will be moving.

madmarchhare Fri 12-Aug-05 15:18:35

Now I see what you mean!, what a pile of crap for you . They must be really long days for you as well with the travelling DH has to do.

Have you got any more news today on the flat?

How about trying a loan from somewhere else?, do you really have to tell them exactly what its for?

Think about your new place, whats it like? Do you have a garden?

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