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I feel like ive got no life anymore

(8 Posts)
juicychops Wed 06-Jul-05 19:56:42

im due to go back to work in December but i havent even looked into childcare as i wasn't planning on going back to work.ds would probably not get into a nursery by then because of waiting lists so i wont be able to go back. It wouldn't be worth getting part time work as child care costs too much. I want to work from home ideally but cant think of anything to do at all. ive got no money, feel crap because i cant make any, i dont drive, dp is always working as he does shift work and long hours. I feel so isolated and lonely. I see some people but all i ever end up talking about is kids the whole time and i just want to get a life away from all that. I dont mind at all that ds is always gunna be in my life... thats not the problem. But i just don't want him to be the focus of everything i do 24 hours a day. Does that make sense? does anyone else feel like that and have any advice for me?

SenoraPostrophe Wed 06-Jul-05 20:02:56

I do work (at home, own business), but I often think that if i was in your position I would do any crappy job i could find for a few hours a week just so that I could pay a cleaner/childminder for a few hours a week (even if that meant not actually earning any money).

Anyway - have you checked out whether or not any of your local adult education centres have a creche (try the local college, the council and also any "Friends centre" type places)? That would get you out of the house and meeting people at least. Have you rung round the nurseries to find out what the waiting list situation actually is? (if that's what you want to do).

sheenalouise Fri 08-Jul-05 15:52:05

Feel very much the same way, have 3 lovely children who I adore but also chilmind for my neice 5 days a week.My hubby is great but works shift and hardly at home so very hard for me to go out and do anything. Would love to make some friends but find it very hard. Feel very lonely and isolated. Tried going to toddler groups etc but everyone seems to have already got enough friends

Skippymum Fri 08-Jul-05 19:52:53

I can relate to all that SL is saying. Dd2 is now 6 months old and dd1 is 3yrs old. I run a toddler group and help on the committee of dd1's nursery as the secretary. I also hold a group for young mums and toddlers in my home once a fortnight. In spite of all this, I feel really alone and isolated. Add to this the fact that all my family are overseas and my MIL will not look after the kids because she gets nervous and you see before you one very stressed mum who is desperate for some 'me' time or an evening alone with dh. Haven't had any of either in I forget how long.

Lizita Mon 01-Aug-05 19:32:06

I know this is an old thread but wanted to add me to this. I totally relate to what you're saying. I'm a single mum, adore spending my days with dd but can feel my employability, (if that's a word) & confidence in the outside world etc slipping away. I have a boyf and all my energy & babysitting for going out etc goes towards seeing him, which means I DO get out & meet people but I don't like the fact that it's only connected with my boyf not my own life iykwim. my other close friends I usually see only with my dd or they come over to mine and I wish I had more time, energy for them actually. I think for now I am not worrying too much about it because when dd goes to nursery I will look into doing a course which will introduce me back into the wide world again properly!

mum2mikey Mon 01-Aug-05 21:20:20

SNAP lizita, single mum, all effort into seeing boyfriend, rushing round for babysitters, no friends,fed up fed up fed up

helsi Mon 01-Aug-05 21:41:42

juicychops do you have any family close by who could look after ds for a couple of hours while you go out with friends. Nothing extravagant just swimming of for a coffee and a chat?

yourlittleswampduck Tue 09-Aug-05 20:57:15

Hi, I wanted to add to this as I feel very lonely and isolated often too. I have no family nearby and friends are all at work. I feel so guilty as I have waited 11 years for my daughter (who is 14 weeks) but some days I miss my old pre-baby life so so much and then feel like a terrible person for wishing for that. I haven't found post-natal groups any use, in fact they make me feel even worse as all the other Mum's all seem so happy. I'm hoping this is just a phase!

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