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depressed child

(19 Posts)
bigdonna Tue 05-Jul-05 09:48:47

does anyone have any experience of having a child who seems depressed?My friends dd said to her" if life is no fun then what is the point of living".i cannot stop thinking about it.

bigdonna Tue 05-Jul-05 09:49:52

bump

LittleStarsweeper Tue 05-Jul-05 10:13:46

very early on, my neice who was around 6 years old, starting harming herself and feeeling pretty unimportant. It had a lot to do with the parents splitting up. My sister can be a bit selfish and she is a bit flitty, here there and everywhere, so neice didnt have much of a routine. I think that makes them feel unstable and unsafe which brings on stuff like this. Sounds like the child is screaming for much needed attention.

gothicmama Tue 05-Jul-05 10:14:38

MIND have a very good booklet called teh anxious child it is available on their website

MamaMaiasaura Tue 05-Jul-05 10:26:11

bigdonna - how old is the child? Is it your child or friends dd?

AnnaInManchester Tue 05-Jul-05 13:00:48

Can u have dd's friend around for tea one evening and tell her and dd that you are always there if they need to talk about anything but subtely.

bigdonna Tue 05-Jul-05 21:15:47

Awen it is not my child it is my daughters best friends sister i have known her for about 5 yrs now.she is nearly 8,she has a lot of problems at school they think she is dyslexic.I have had her around for tea but she caused havoc.She lied to me and my husband and had my son who is nearly 8 too, in tears the whole afternoon.Her sister is the opposite of her, very happy jolly got loads of friends and good at school.This probably does not help.I am going to have a word with her mum tomorrow night as i take her 6yr old swimming.

llamaduck Tue 05-Jul-05 21:53:59

What was she lying about? 8 is a diff age as all the big changes of stopping being an infant and junior school is infinetley harder. Also at 8 their behaviour becomes often a hell of a lot more challenging as i understand it..

llamaduck Tue 05-Jul-05 21:54:08

I am awen btw

bigdonna Tue 05-Jul-05 22:36:25

i heard her telling her sister to pull my dd trousres down,when i said we dont play games like that in our house she said it was not her who said it.Also my son kept asking her if she wanted to play a b or c,when they agreed on one she would only play if she could have exactly what she wanted and her rules too .I also seen her whispering in his ear that he was ugly over and over hence upsetting him he said he would never invite her again that was about 10mths ago.She is a very sencitive child very small for her age and takes medicine to stop her weeing herself all the time.she does need more attention but both her parents work full time so she stays at school until 5.45 every night.

bigdonna Tue 05-Jul-05 22:39:47

awen i also think because she has so many problems her mother favours her younger sister as she is less complicated.I think her mother just has not bonded with her they both need to talk to someone.

llamaduck Wed 06-Jul-05 11:39:34

IF she is on special medicine to stop her wetting herself that must be quite demoralising for her. Also if she is whishpering 'ugly' in yuor ds's ear I wonder where she might have learnt or heard that possibley? Maybe she is picking up that her mother favours the younger and at such a young age is expressing her upset in the only way that she can. Tbh i wonder if it is not just her that needs help but perhaps her mother. Sorry if this causes offence. It is just children often 'act out' their feelings or what they have been taught. I wonder if the school have picked up on these issues too?

bigdonna Wed 06-Jul-05 13:00:52

yes i think you are right i think they both need to see someone,i think my friend might have post natal depression .i think she really needs to get to know her and have some one-one attention.I just feel so sorry for her it seems like her world is falling in she also does not have a special friend at school.

llamaduck Wed 06-Jul-05 14:03:03

Poor love. Can teachers help? Sometimes they can encourage friendships in class room. Perhaps she could take up brownies or some hobby too. This might build some confidence

bigdonna Wed 06-Jul-05 21:13:16

she did do swimming but stopped because her friend was put up and she was not.She does ballet shes very good but says shes bored now she starts colourhouse in sept and she is going to start gym.She has friends but of course they are on top tables at school and she cannot even read yet .Her 6yr old sister reads to her.I had a chat with my friend tonight and explained that i was very concerned she agreed they need to see someone!!She is also going to get her a tutor so maybe this will help.she also has 3 weeks off in summer so maybe lots of time for her.She does get on really well with her dad but i think maybe what she said was a little cry for help."dont all little girls want their mummies" I know both my kids when they are ill or upset they want me.

bigdonna Wed 06-Jul-05 21:17:05

my friend has been having lots of discussions with school they seem to think she is not dyslexic but my friend is too, and lots of people in her family are.

bigdonna Wed 06-Jul-05 21:17:46

sorry meant to say thankyou for all your advice.

llamaduck Wed 06-Jul-05 21:31:12

Thats ok donna i definately agfree that there is more too it. Think school should look more into dsylexia.. have you tried posting on the special needs threads? They have HEAPS of advice.

I have to say that your friend is lucky to have you looking out for her.

bigdonna Wed 06-Jul-05 22:09:01

Thanks will look on special needs.

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