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Feeling low and have bad relationship with alcohol

(9 Posts)
12manyagain Sun 03-Jul-05 21:00:21

I drink to give me confidence - i feel crap most of the time and whilst i don't drink regularly, when i do i either become over the top happy drunk where i'm the life and soul or sad drunk (which is the worse kind of drunk).

How do i change my relationship with alchohol? Or should i try and give up altogether? Last night i went out with DH, his brother and girlfriend and got sad drunk - became very paranoid and tearful and it was very embarrasing today. Feel very ashamed of myself. I'm a mum now and i need to sort myself out. I don't want to be a lush and set a bad example to my dd.

I could get away with it ten years ago but now i have responsibilities. I really don't like the person i am when i drink but i keep fooling myself that i know when to stop when quite i clearly i dont know.

Also, i'm eating all the wrong foods and am generally feeling very negative about myself.

Any advice ? X

spidermama Sun 03-Jul-05 21:03:33

Do you make sure you do stuff for yourself regularly? Easier said than done sometimes I know.

expatinscotland Sun 03-Jul-05 21:05:31

I had a drink problem once. I started to really not like the person I was when I was drinking. I'd smoke a lot as well and my body felt terrible.

I did something drastic: I gave up altogether. This may not work for everyone, but it did for me.

Have you considered AA?

12manyagain Sun 03-Jul-05 21:10:31

Spidermama - i get plenty of time to myself as dd has a regular bedtime. I work part time and i get to go out some evenings. I have always been an anxious person and i think drinking helps to make me less so. I just dont like myself when i'm drinking.

Expat - never considered AA as i dont think i have a drink problem as such. I dont drink regularly its just then when i do i dont know when to stop and i become such a different person. I think you're right - the only way to deal with it is to stop altogether. Time for a healthy lifestyle. Just wish i could get my confidence in some other way.......

expatinscotland Sun 03-Jul-05 21:19:28

A person who cannot stop drinking once they start has a drink problem.

12manyagain Sun 03-Jul-05 21:24:29

Then i guess i have a drink problem. How did you go about giving up if you don't mind me asking?

expatinscotland Sun 03-Jul-05 21:27:30

Well, what I did won't work for everyone. I sold everything I owned and left the country.

I didn't drink every day for a long time. But the main thing was that once I started, I didn't know when to stop until I was pissed and became a different person. I really didn't like the things I did whilst drunk. I felt guilty about my drinking and like I'd poisoned myself - I had!

I didn't have kids to look after then, but I would have found it harder to cope w/them w/the hangovers and groginess I had.

12manyagain Sun 03-Jul-05 21:35:18

Leaving the country is not an option unfortunately (wish it was sometimes!) Gonna go on a healthy lifestyle regime and just take one day at a time. Its gonna be hard when i go out with friends but i just have to keep telling myself why i'm doing this. If I carry on with this drinking thing I really think it will eventually be my downfall and one day i will say or do something to someone i love and i will lose everything and i couldnt bear that. My DD is my world and i just need to focus on her and try and gain confidence some other way. Would you say you are a confident person?

expatinscotland Sun 03-Jul-05 21:40:16

I was confident before I started drinking so much. That's what I really hated, alcohol made me lose my confidence. That's why I cut it out of my life. One day at a time. It's the only way.

If/when friends asked, I said I couldn't drink b/c I was an alcoholic. They were very respecting of that.

I stayed out of bars and pubs altogether, which was easier for me when I moved to a new country and didn't have a 'local' calling my name.

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