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Feeling really sh*tty

(8 Posts)
moozoboozo Fri 01-Jul-05 14:07:53

My DS is nearly 7 months old and I havent felt right since then. I seem to spend quite a lot of time crying, but I thought this was normal after you have a baby. I have just returned from holiday with my mum and DP and DS, which was, quite frankly, a nightmare. I think I ruined it for everyone as I was such a miserable cow. My DP thinks I need to get help, but my Mum told me I was just wallowing in self pity. The thing is, I really cannot snap out of it. In the last few weeks, I have been thinking a lot about suicide, (I don't think I would go that far) which is starting to make me feel really frightened. I also can't get morbid thoughts out of my head (ie, something happeneing to DS/DP) I obsessively check DS breathing all the time. I constantly doubt my ability to be a good mother to my son, which is compunded by the fact that he won't eat at the moment, and is losing weight. I feel like such a failure.

I don't really know why I am posting here, but I thought it might help. Sorry to gush. I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Fimbo Fri 01-Jul-05 14:09:23

I am no expert but sounds like PND to me. Have you been to the Docs?

moozoboozo Fri 01-Jul-05 14:10:31

No, I didnt think there was anything wrong with me, until DP pointed out this week that it's not normal to cry all the time.

Fimbo Fri 01-Jul-05 14:13:36

Having a new baby is such a shock to the system isn't it? I have a 5.5 age gap between my children and had forgotten what sleepless nights, relentless crying was like. Please go to your Doc. Take Care

Sax Fri 01-Jul-05 14:22:43

Hello moozoboozo-

I think you maybe you do know why you are posting here. You have been very frank about how you feel and yes it sounds extrememly like PND to me too. You really need to think about your next step if this has been going on a little while. Have you thought about discussing any of your feelings with the HV or one of the GPs? I do think Fimbo is talking lots of sense and this is probably the next step for you!

redsky Fri 01-Jul-05 14:32:36

Poor you moo! You are not 'just' feeling a bit sorry for yourself imo. Sounds to me like full blown depression -been there loads of times over the last 10 years. Isn't it ghastly?? Now the good news - you can get help! Sometimes it can take ages (months) to find the right remedy. But every time I have been where you are now I have come out of it eventually. My last episode started about 8 months ago and I managed to make myself go to the doctor sooner than usual. After trial and error with various drugs I finished up on 20mg day of cipralex which did the trick brilliantly. A month ago I started cutting down and been totaly without now for 10 days.

Dh is currently suffering very badly and he is going back to the doc on Monday cos he doesn't seem to be responding to prozac this time. I feel so sorry for dh - and for you moo. Hope you get the help you need soon.

lucy5 Fri 01-Jul-05 14:36:19

Go to the docs, I did and he gave me magnesium and vit b6, it was miraculous. I knew I had to go as I was no longer getting any joy from my dd who was 18 months at the time. I thought she was too old for me to have pnd but apparently you can get it up to about 2.5. Take care of yourself

moozoboozo Wed 06-Jul-05 14:28:27

Saw the HV on Monday, and I had a good cry to her. She was brill, and suggested I see my doctor as she thinks I have PND. Have got an appointment next Tuesday. xxxxxx

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