Last night, I got into bed to BF DD (11 weeks). I asked DH to turn the volume up on the tv and whe he said that he was busy doing something else I threw a tantrum. Except it was more than just a tantrum, I completely lost my temper, handed the baby over to him and told him that I was too busy to feed her, screamed a torrent of abuse at him and as the argument escallated told him that I wanted a divorce, that I didn't love him, that I wanted him out of my life etc
I'm crying as I type this because I can't believe how awful my behaviour was and typing it makes me feel so ashamed.
He took DD downstairs, at which point my DS (2) opened the door tp his room and I continued to shout abuse at his father. I followed DH downstairs, threw the remote control against the wall in a fit of anger then went to take DD from DH, he tried to stop me, I screamed at him again and then went to knee him at which point he let go.
DH was responding to me during this which made me even more angry. And more abusive.
I don't think I need help, I know that I do.
I wish this was a one off but it isn't. Flying off the handle and screaming abuse is common place now and I think thinks are getting worse. I've never been violent before.
I need to see a doctor. DH is a kind, gentle and loving man and I'm an abusive, horrible person that is making his life a misery.
Being sorrowful today doesn't make up for last night.
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Mental health
I think I need help ...
22 replies
OpeningAnotherCanOfWorms · 02/01/2010 14:36
OP posts:
youwillnotwin ·
02/01/2010 14:42
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