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thoughts of self harm

(7 Posts)
stringofletters Fri 06-Nov-09 09:39:43

don't normally namechange on here but not brave enough for this one. not trying to hide really, more make it non-searchable.

can we talk about thoughts of self harm/suicide? not as in planning anything, or feeling so low/hopeless you don't see any way out, but as in thoughts that just pop into your head unbidden. putting the washing up away and seeing everything pointy as a potential weapon, or when you see a bridge thinking of throwing yourself off.

that sounds worse than it is written down. i realise it's not right, just think it must be quite common? wondered how people deal with it.

Deadworm Fri 06-Nov-09 09:43:43

When I was having CBT my therapist was very reassuring about these. He said not to regard then as a problem but to think of them as just a form of release. That worked for me because for me the thoughts are just there and not distressing (and are in fact a release). But if you are distresed by the thoughts then I think you would need to take some sort of action -- to talk to someone about them if that is possible.

The one bad thing I find is that they do seem to reinforce the self-hatred a little sometimes.

stringofletters Fri 06-Nov-09 12:49:59

that is reassuring, thanks dw. some of mine are distressing, others are, as you said, just there. i suppose it's having faith that just because you think them doesn't mean you'll carry them through that really matters. i just find the more common the thoughts become the harder it becomes to hang onto that faith.

PurpleOne Sat 07-Nov-09 01:36:56

I'm not sure what to say as I have them too. Took a few valium the other week and had a stash of pills lined up, yet the lovely lady at the Samaritans talked me out of it.
I've acted on those thoughts many many times.

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

Have you spoke to your doctor??

stringofletters Sat 07-Nov-09 09:12:11

i'm so glad you found the strength to call the samaritans purpleone. i hope you find a way through these feelings, and thanks for posting.

the thoughts i have tend to be quite violent, which is what makes them distressing, but in some way i think that means i'm less likely to act on them than if they were about pills. if that makes sense.

i haven't been to doctor yet, was hoping it would all go away but doesn't appear to be, will go next week.

TheBlairSnitchProject Sat 07-Nov-09 09:28:25

I self harmed for many, many years. I used to cut myself. At the time it felt like like all these thoughts would build up and build up like a pressure cooker and that cutting was the only way to release them.

I found talking to someone really helped and while the doctor referring me to a councellor was distressing at first (At the time I felt like a real freak for needing the help and was ashamed of myself), in retrospect, it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Slowly things changed and I went from harming to thinking about it to not even thinking about it anymore. I understand when you talk about the thoughts when putting knives etc away but I'd always put it down to my relationship with cutting.

I would say that your plan to visit a doctor is a good one. Just remember that those first steps can be the hardest. It does get easier though. I haven't cut in over 10 years now.

Kaloki Sun 08-Nov-09 01:22:10

Just wanted to say, I'm another one too. Got more scars than I care to count, and have days where everything in sight is a temptation to harm myself with. I find just being aware that those thoughts are a product of my depression helps me step back from them and avoid acting on them

*sends love and hugs to everyone feeling the same*

If anyone needs someone to talk them down from bad moments I'm always online and would love to help as so many others have helped me

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