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not much else i can do is there ?

(8 Posts)
cestlavielife Wed 04-Nov-09 12:47:17

yesterday we had no contact from exP (pvs history mental health issues/depression/self harm) he was supposed to see kids 6-7 pm -
supervised by after school childminder

usually he sends msg to say at least "i am not well" or whatever.....last few weeks he has said "i am not well2 and ahs said he has been to GP and has been given anti-d's.

.dd left him a voice message on his landline at 6 pm. no response.

the last message we had from
him was sunday evening. I texted him on monday to ask if he would be seeing the
children on tuesday. we got no response,

i had a report from his neighbour that he had glazed eyes and walked past her.

I have left message for CAFCASS court social worker as I know she was was trying
to contact him to set up the family meeting which we are supposed to have in
next 2 weeks to try and resolve issues/move forward.

I spoke to his friend M who has been supervising contact with dcs on occasions who said she had called
him but got no response and that he is "ill" but had expressed the view to her
that if he sought help etc then I would use it against him in court.

(pvsly he has made a point of saying "i am ceritfiied sane" ....

i asked her
if she was planning to visit him at home and she said she did not want to.

she said was concerned also and
had spoken to a psychologist friend of hers who had said he needed profressional
help (well we all know that...) .

I also called his GP practice and left a message to say he had not been in
contact with his children and there were concerns given his mental health
issues.

I do not think there is anything more that I can do.

(M also said he owed her money...)

It is up to CAFCASS/his GP to decide if they wish to take any action to
ascertain his state of health??

Fabster Wed 04-Nov-09 12:56:35

I think you should ring the police and ask them to go round and check on him tbh.

Chickenshavenolips Wed 04-Nov-09 12:59:47

I second Fabster. The police could knock 'round, just to make sure he's ok.

cestlavielife Wed 04-Nov-09 15:11:31

police called - he is aliv and well.

so just being an idiot then in not contacting his dcs to tell them he cannot make it....

i give up.

Fabster Wed 04-Nov-09 16:35:49

He needs to sort himself out.

Good for calling the police. It could have been a lot worse.

Chickenshavenolips Thu 05-Nov-09 08:45:38

Well, I'm glad he's ok, but I'd probably want to murder him myself over causing the drama.

cestlavielife Thu 05-Nov-09 09:56:04

i feel like i have been "taken in" by him yet again - even tho at same time there ARE serious concerns. and risk of him self harming.... yet even when he was seriously self harming in 2007 he would hide it from GP as much as he could....

(and at one point i was told by CPN that self harm was fine you know if that was what he wanted to do to express his feelings....so i guess it is ok then... is just i dont want my dcs to see it.)

he has said in text msgs that he HAS been self harming in last two years "you have been so abusive to me that i have been self harming now you know" - my "abuse" being taking him to court over contact and ensuring contact centre /supervised contact due to his violence towards me and my concerns etc...

anyway i now have his neighbours watching out and have made them more aware of the issues of previous self harm etc.

according to the friend M, he is convinced that if he seeks help for his mental illness i will ensure at court he doesnt get to see his kids - but he is creating this all himself by not turning up for contact or even letting his own kids know he wont be there.

skewed thinking....

ultimately the dcs are sufferng his rejection of them. is very sad.

and if he doesnt seek the right help then he will suffer too, forever... unless he does ultimately take steps to seriously self harm and end it all that way.

Chickenshavenolips Thu 05-Nov-09 19:54:50

It sounds like a horrendous situation. He obviously has serious issues, and is also being very manipulative.

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