New to the board- Anxiety

[chinchi]

Hello,
Im a regular poster on MN, although I can normally be found over on the SN boards.

A quick introduction- Im 25, married for 5 years and have two children DS,2 (with mild CP), and DD, 10 months. I have no surviving family after losing my parents in 2001 and 2007, and DH is foreign so his parents are overseass.

I was prescribed anti-d's twice this year, both in Jan and July, but once I had the prescription, refused to take them for fear of becoming addicted. I returned to the GP in August and blood results showed that I might be having thyroid problems.

Tests came back clear last week, and the GP is suggesting that my symptoms are pointing towards anxiety. Now, Im wondering, where do I go from here?

I only have two friends who I feel comfortable around. They are friends from my childhood, but with the working fulltime, and with me being married with kids, we rarely see each other and have little in common anymore.

I just find myself stuck in a rut, and I cant seem to break out of it. DS has only recently started taking his first steps, and although verbal, doesn't say anything recognisable, so looking after two kids without any break for myself at all, is physically and mentally challenging.

I don't have the energy to do anything much these days. I have spent the past two days at home, because I just have a constant feeling of 'I can't be bothered'.

I hope I can find some support on this board. Just writing things down seems to help, but I think Im searching for answers that I can't find.

[madmouse]

Hiya

Well done for posting here - I used to be on the SN boards loads but things are so steady with my ds now that I don't go there often. Like yours he has mild cp, he is 20 months and walks holding our hands now, chats like anything but hardly any words.

I also understand the family thing because my dh and I are both from abroad and since his mum passed it is just my dad and stepmum but there is this water between us...

But...I am lucky in that I have quite a few very good friends who are ds's uncles and aunts and my support during a pretty rough time for me at the moment.

You feel you have two friends you are comfortable with but they are not very accessible to you. What support do you get for/with ds? We have portage which in turn gives access to sn playgroups which are a good way of meeting other parents who know what it is like. Lack of support for you seems to be getting you down. And then you feel no one is there for you - it's a vicious circle.

But you've taken the first step by writing here - you can always write more if it helps x

(And as a by the by - although you get withdrawal symptoms when you stop - anti depressants are not actually addictive)

[chinchi]

Madmouse- thankyou so much for your reply, and it seems there are many similarities between our sons. My DS turned 2 in August, so is only just 26 months. He will happily walk holding our hands, but only walks unaided when prompted. He did however shock us tonight by standing up on his own without his AFOs, as he loved the applause and attention

At the moment I don't really get any help with DS. We have moved to a district away from where he was born and is being treated with physio etc. I have been reluctant to move his care, as the consultants etc, were happy to continue seeing him, but the staff at the CDU as pushing us more regarding our home address and stressing the fact that they can't send anybody from portage to us as we arent in the same district.

I think I will finally have to admit defeat and transfer his care to where we are living now. Something else to add to my worries as he has built up a great relationship with all the professionals who see him, and I for one will be sad to see that end.

I am an only child, and so when growing up, I got used to being in my own company. However, with the stresses of looking after two children who can't yet talk or properly walk, I crave for that extra bit of help and support. DH is great, but he works full time. I strive for adult conversation, and when I do meet up with those friends, it's like a whole new window opening up onto a world that Im not part of, because whilst theyre all out there working, socialising, etc, Im pretty much in a very structured routine that I cant break out of.

I took the kids shopping today, and although I went alone, it was nice to get out of the house and grab some fresh air. I did feel very alone though and craved for someone to talk to. Strange really, considering I find it difficult to make new friends!

[titferbrains]

Hey there, just offering support and wishing you luck. I also find it hard to meet people and see less and less of my own friends as they are working/have gone back to work. My 14mo dd recently completed treatment for cancer, now cured, so I am also in need of support from friends but find it difficult to meet people. I know what you mean about getting out of the house but still needing someone to talk to. My dH is working such long days at the mo that I am considering joining the single parent boards for company.

[Rumpel]

CHINCHI - I know it is not very PC to mention on here but netmums has a local page where you can organise to go along to local meet-ups with other Mums in the same situation. They have local on here too but my local page is always dead.

I too moved to somewhere where I didn't know anyone and we have no family near. My DH can't do that much to help and basically I am kind of left along to look after the kids. DD 3 and DS 15months. I don't have a problem chatting to people although I do suffer from depression and anxiety attacks - so I volunteered to become an organizer for NM as I know how difficult/isolating it can be for some Mums.

I have met some lovely people and some very close friend through it - only been doing it year now. I know it might seem scary but the likelihood is that there will be someone like me there who will chat to anyone and make you feel a bit more at ease

Good luck.