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To Medicate or Not To Medicate??

(9 Posts)
HisMother Sun 18-Oct-09 16:48:23

My son is now 3 months old and although I know deep down that he's mine he still feels like someone elses.

I've been advised by my GP and Health Visitor that I should seriously consider taking medication for depression brought on by birth trauma but I am keen to try other solutions first and so I have been refered for counselling. I was told it will take a long while to get an appointment and I know tablets also take a long time to work, about a month right? So regardless of which avenue I take I'll have to wait a similar length of time for any progress.

I feel that in my case medication is avoiding the real issue of the trauma by trying to brush it under the carpet but I don't know how long it will take for counselling to have any effect and if it will get rid of the flash backs.

Yes I'm sure I could do both but I need some help NOW. I don't want to look at my son when he's all grown up and remember this time only for being a crappy time in my life. This is not the rosey picture of motherhood I hoped for.

What would you do?

MitchyInge Sun 18-Oct-09 16:56:11

It depends what sort of medication they're talking about - antidepressants can take weeks to kick in, anxiolytics are a bit more immediate. Either or both might have a role to play in helping you to make the most of any talking treatment and to implement any self help measures, on the other hand depression/PTSD could be argued to be self-limiting, like a cold, that you will get over with or without help.

bigstripeytiger Sun 18-Oct-09 16:57:16

I dont know what I would do in your situation, but a couple of things that come to mind reading your post:

Antidepressants usually work a bit quicker than that - approximately 2 weeks.

Is there any reason why you couldnt do both the tablets and the counselling?

Antidepressants wont brush the issue under the carpet, but some people find that is they are feeling a bit better (as a result of the tablets) then they are more able to make use of the counselling.

I hope that you start to feel better soon.

ILikeToQuickstepItTangoIt Sun 18-Oct-09 17:06:09

If I were you I would intially face the birth trauma, as you have said this is where you believe it has all stemmed from.

Have you contacted the Birth Trauma Association? I don't know much about them, but it may be worth looking at their website to see how they can help you.

I am a believer that you have to deal with the root of the problem and in my experience that is dealing with the problem my talking about it and understanding it.

I do hope things improve for you soon. Maybe start a thread on here about your birth trauma, as it is more common than you think sad

HisMother Sun 18-Oct-09 17:48:45

Thank you all for your suggestions. I'm seeing my health visitor tomorrow so I'll have another chat with her about it. I'm not very good at taking medication. I don't like to take even a pain killer. But then again this isn't just a sore head...

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Sun 18-Oct-09 17:57:06

I started taking antidepressants when my son was about 6mo. I'd been resisting for quite a long time, thinking I was bonding with him just fine etc... looking back that clearly wasn't the case.

I think mine was birth-trauma related. I did have a good birth, but had a manual removal of placenta an hour after DS was born. When they wheeled me out of the delivery room to I felt like I was done for. Also missed out on initial bonding because I was separated from DS while this was going on.

In my case the AD's took about 2 weeks to sink in, but bear in mind that some (citalopram in my case) can have some side-effects while they start to work.

They really helped me to deal with day to day situations without losing perspective and getting overwhelmed and bogged with everything that having a newborn brings. It helped me deal better with the lack of sleep too - helped lower my level of anxiety, so found it easier to switch off at night.

I did have counselling as well, which was amazing. I was very very surprised at just how much it's helped me, not just with DS and our relationship, but with how I deal with normal everyday things, my perspective is more positive and I can just deal with things better.

This is just my experience, but I hope it helps.

HisMother Sun 18-Oct-09 18:06:46

That really does help. I was worried that AD's would make me numb to feeling anything not just the emotions I don't want to feel. I think I'm more open to considering this option now.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne Sun 18-Oct-09 19:15:19

Good luck x

sb9 Tue 20-Oct-09 12:47:12

Didnt want to read and un but have to be quick. It wasnt rosy for me either and i could not understand it as was so excited in preganancy. Just wanted to say that it does get better and for us it was having a baby was a huge shock. Try to take things as they come, dont force yourself to feel any different to what you do, it is hard having a baby and for me i didnt fall in love with her straight away. She is now 18months and i have to say it took me a year to get ino it but it is so rewarding now. Agree with other posters to tackle trauma issue though but please, give yourself a break from worrying, your lo is only 3 months and it is hard - you would be amazed to hear how many people feel like you but just dont say it! (i found a few in my group after admitting it gently and connected with some people and not with others)

hth

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