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I am jealous of my sisters life

(8 Posts)
sheppey Thu 15-Oct-09 12:35:07

Its an horrible thing to admit but I am so miserable and jealous at the moment.
I have one child a ds always wanted another one but fertility problems have prevented me from it.
My sister has had 4 children one ds, 3 dd's.
My sister is 16 years older than me and her children have all grown up they are now all in the twenties and only one remains at home.
I get so envious and sad to see her surrounded by her family when they visit and how good her dd's are to her how she always has her daughters to share outings with and a laugh.
One of my biggest regrets is not having a daughter although at the moment I would give anyhting for another ds.
I am so concerned that I will have an lonely existence when I am older I do have a dp but I still can,t get rid of these feelings.
My sisters daughter has just had a baby and I am jealous that I will never have a daughter to share this with.
My sister is right next door to me so there is no getting away from it and these feelings are taking over my life.
My ds is 7.
I am becoming quite upset about it at the moment.

EverythingsPink Thu 15-Oct-09 12:40:32

Don't really have anything useful to say but thought you needed bumping up...

Have you spoken about this with your partner? I'm sure everything isn't always as rosey for her as it might seem to you on the outside but I understand this isn't much of a consolation to you.


sarah293 Thu 15-Oct-09 12:45:13

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sheppey Thu 15-Oct-09 12:52:16

Im welcome to go round my sisters anytime and when her family are there.
Today the youngest dd is at home cooking them all a dinner and the other dd and her dp are coming with the baby.
I will not go probably as I don,t feel part of it.

sarah293 Thu 15-Oct-09 12:53:50

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fircone Thu 15-Oct-09 12:54:08


It does always seem to me, or perhaps some of us are super sensitive to this, that people with large families do tend to shove the fact in other people's faces. Look at us! Kids everywhere! Chaos!

Might I suggest counselling? My friend is unable to have children. She was finding herself eaten up with bitterness and misery. She knew she had to confront this and somehow deal with the issue, and she found a brilliant counsellor. She will always be childless, but she says she has managed to forge ahead with a life now, whereas for a long time she was paralysed with jealousy and it couldn't go on.

sheppey Thu 15-Oct-09 13:07:29

I am not sure but if they bothered to pop round and see me with the baby I might be more inclined to go round.
I am also finding it difficult been in their company as it is constantly reminding me of what I won,t have.

EverythingsPink Thu 15-Oct-09 13:12:24

But they might be thinking 'she knows we're here, if she wants to see us she can pop round'

Don't let yourself become isolated because of this. If you want to be a part of their lives, then go round, fuss over the new baby, invite them to yours etc...

On the other hand, if seeing them makes you feel so unhappy maybe you do need to create a bit of space between you and just pop in for a quick hello every now and then so as not to seem impolite but then leave them to it.

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